<![CDATA[Pope Maxi's Holy Blog n' Irrelivant Ramblings]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr en-us Wed, 30 Aug 2006 15:27:41 GMT <![CDATA[Just DIE would ya? JEEEZ!]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr?p=34 My friend's cat just passed away (my condolences) and it got be thinking about all the ways people refer to death and dying now.

"Put to sleep"

- What it means: "my dog is sick and we need to kill it to put it out of it's misery so let me pay this jagoff $500 that I don't have to do it".

I realized that this is only the case with animals and never anything else. In fact, only cats and dogs if you really narrow it down. You don't put your goldfish to sleep, you wait till it dies and flush the fucker. I've never heard of anyone taking a hamster down to the vet and having it "put down"

I think it's just a city slicker thing. If you go on a farm somewhere and an animal is on its "last legs" they shoot it in the head. This is the best thing to do. It's quick, easy, and it saves you all the grief and anguish of sitting in a waiting room holding the animal you took care of all its life and put it into the hands of a stranger. It may be a little messy and horrifying but you would definitely get your last words in.

"Pull the plug"

What you don't ever hear is "Grandpa was sick so we had to put him to sleep". No, with humans it's "pull the plug". And it's always a decision that the family has to make. "Pull the plug" is worse than "put to sleep".

Trust me; pulling the plug is not all it's cracked up to be. It's not like they just rip a plug out of the outlet and POOF the guy is dead. They drug the shit out of the person so they can’t feel themselves dying then they take them off all the machines. No plugs are pulled.

True story about "pulling the plug":  When I was a kid my uncle had his 8th heart attack (wine with breakfast will do that to you). His body took a "turn for the worse" (another asinine thing to say) and the doctor said that it was OUR decision to "pull the plug" on him or not. Great, leave it to us, with all our experience practicing medicine I’m sure we'll come to a decision within an hour. Jackass. We decided not to "pull the plug" because no one had the stomach to "kill my uncle" and he is still alive today, 6 years later,...9th heart attack. Whatever. ;-)

"No longer with us"

"Jimmy is no longer with us." Who is he with now? Is he playing for another team? Actually, Jimmy is still with us. I can bring him to you if you lend me a shovel and a flashlight.

I won't touch "passed away" because that's a Carlin.  I want to. But I won't.

"In a better place"

Really??? Do you want to switch spots with him???

"Croaked"

Finally a little sense of humor to go along with death.

"It was just his time to go"

Try fuckin' telling him that! I don't think he'd like how you keep fuckin' time now would he?

"Kicked the bucket"

In the old days, if you kicked a bucket the sentence was death? Harsh!

"We lost him"

You loose your keys. AND there is no we here. If you live, and HE died. HE lost his life, you didn't. We lost him is just stupid! BUT I think I know where to find him.

I'm not trying to be insensitive here. ( OK yes I am! ) But some of these phrases seriously have to go. They sound ridiculous and sugar-coated.


People die. That's life. Get used to it!
]]> Wed, 30 Aug 2006 15:27:41 GMT <![CDATA[Bathroom Rules!]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr?p=33
1) Flush. Just flush the god damn toilet. It's not gonna fly back out at you in a panic, it goes DOWN the hole. Unless you have a mega-doodie and forsee a clogging event, why would you want to leave your stinky feces and tons of toilet paper and urine just sitting there? Are you marking your territory? Leave a business card. Write your name on the stall is you must. Hell use your picture phone to capture the moment - BUT FLUSH THE BASTARD!

2) If someone else is in the bathroom washing their hands or something, it's okay to just walk into a stall and crap. That's why you went there, right? Don't just walk in, see someone, then wash your hands and walk out. We all know you are just gonna come back in a few minutes. People shit, and most people don't care if you intend to shit. This is why you are there. If you walk into the closet and do it, I can see the problem...but the bathroom is there for just this occision. Shit there!

3) It's okay to poop. Females can poop ( I just don't want to know ). So just poop. Don't be scared. Sure you may make some noise, it's a li'l body musical. Run with it. If you like to do that in private let a few rip - no one hanging around will linger, trust me! Your shit DOES stink.

4) Farting is a whole different ballgame. Farting is okay as long as you don't grunt and sigh after ( only I can do that, and sometimes I do it in cartoon voices). Farting is okay as long as it's more of a "toot" and less "ripping ass". Remember, you are in a PUBLIC restroom... Other people are breathing, too. Unless your goal is clear the room - then all bets are off...sometimes the guy next to you will try to out-blast you. I'll take that challenge!

5) Don't talk. No talking whatsoever! When I go to the bathroom, I just want to take a leak (or "kick a grunt out" ). I don't want to tell you how my day is and I don't care about yours. Saying "Hi" is fine, however. It's a greeting, not a conversation. I was wearing my Phillies cap and some asshat asked me what the "P" was for. Needless to say I thought he meant "Pee". I doubt he'll be talking to people in the bathroom anytime soon.

6) I know this is picky and neat freakish but; Don't trash the place! I don't know what it is with people making a mess in a room that just needs effort to be made to keep it clean. I used to clean men's and ladie's rooms way back in the day and the women's bathroom was always the dirtiest. Ladies, I'm ashamed of you.

7) What is it with pickin' your boogies and leaving them on the wall in front of the urinal? I gotta guy doing this at work on my floor. Oh I will find you Mr. Nasal Graffiti. Just, knock that the hell off man! Paint that picture, some tool takin' a leak and pickin' his nose. This guy stands a good chance of having already bred too. Damn.

8) Look. It's not a restroom ok? There is no couch. No lounge chair. No resting unless you count the moments you sit on the shitter. I'm ok with you saying "I gotta go pinch a loaf", "Take a leak..", "Drop the kids off at the pool.", or my personal favorite,... "I gotta hit the head." No one is less effected by your announcement "I have to use the restroom." We all know you are going to shit. Thank you for the breaking news.

9) Wash your hands! I don't care who you are. Male or female. You could be a hot smokin' piece of ass mid level employee and at some point I'm going to need to borrow your pen, or get some paperwork from you, or possibly need a handjob. I don't want your funky digits covered in filth. There are other reasons, I just can't think of 'em.

10) If you see me carrying the magazine, don't stop me and start a conversation. See the magazine? I intend on reading the whole damn thing. This applies to the days newspaper, the phonebook, the holy bible, or any other thing I'm taking with me... not limited to the gameboy, walkie talkies, or a remote control car. Why is it that most meetings happen right after the second cup of coffee too? You see the quick pace, the tiny footsteps, the look of pain on my face and the magazine or electronics in my hand? Leave me be!]]> Mon, 21 Aug 2006 00:29:34 GMT <![CDATA[Politics Explained!]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr?p=32 Incase you didn't see my "MAX 2008" page... ( www.maxmurdok.com and look for the g'damn link....) you'd know that I am pretty politically active. OK, that's a complete lie - I loath anything organized, especially politics... hey - at least I admit it...too many loudmouths think they have all the answers, and have figured out all our problems, and yet - they can't get away from their job at wal-mart to run for office... or worse yet, they are already IN office. In order tho to understand politics you really need to know the different forms, its not just Republican or Dummycrat... So for you, the enlightened and the slightly unenlightened ( dim ) I present to you,... Politics explained....should you give a rats ass:



FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you. You get water. If you are lucky.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
In the US:
Democrats: Believe we should all pay for supporting the cows, and if another country abuses its cows we should let them - even if they fly planes into our barns.
Republicans: Don't believe two cows should share the same stall.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you and then burn down the barn, rape your wife, or they shoot your cows. Or they rape the cow, shoot the wife.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.


My world is a swell place. I hope this clears things up for you. Or not.


-maxi]]> Fri, 18 Aug 2006 15:10:01 GMT <![CDATA[Rules to live by!]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr?p=26
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop fucking with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass and it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual, you're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they're already doing that. It's called "The Oprah Show"

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese.]]> Sun, 18 Jun 2006 11:45:49 GMT <![CDATA[The Adult Survey]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr?p=25 1) Have you ever had a thought during sex/masturbation that just completely killed the whole mood?



I could have sex in a animal testing lab on puppies and kittens with barf in my socks and my grandmother watching and swearing and telling me Im doing it all wrong! ...no thought is too disturbed more me to effect the pipe laying. BUT I have thought of other women if the girl happens to be visually challenged. Hey, I never said I wasnt a bastard!




2) Ever had sex with someone you knew for less than 5 hours?



There for a while I would only have sex with chickas Ive known only briefly. I dont wanna know about your ex, I didn't wanna cuddle, I dont wanna get in tune with your feelings, I dont wanna get to know your folks, I dont wanna take a long walk with you on the beach, I quite frankly wanna pop that pussy to quote 2 Live Crew! I think anyone that claims walks on the beach as something they do thats romantic should be used as chum and thrown to the gdamn sharks. ( Maxi didnt have his coffe yet! )




3) Have you ever been handcuffed in a sexual situation?



Yes. And I liked it only because Trooper Megan not only read me my rights, she read and demonstrated all my wrongs and a few of her own.




4) Have you ever slept with someone that one of your friends had sex with as well?



I lived in a small town. We traded them like baseball cards. Wed even share tips like She likes it when you do.....




5) Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex?



NOPE. The old man stopped banging my mother right after I was adopted....might be why I was adopted. I did walk in the house after my dad had sex...I thought they had hoagies and kept saying Come On, I Smell Hoagies! ...apparently that wasnt a hoagie I was smelling. He broke up with her shortly after.




6) Has a song ever turned you on? If so, what song?



Didnt I just mention 2 Live Crew? ;-) Nahhh - no song in particular turns me on but I do love it when a woman strips to I Touch Myself altho Austin Powers ruined that for me.



7) Have you ever fantasized about your best friend?



My best friend, named MOTHER ( a guy ) is 325 frikken pounds! Even if I was a homo sissy fruit he wouldnt turn me on. However, any girl that Im friends with - my god yes,...Im a guy - thats what we do! ( Watch my MySpace friends number dwindle with that admission! )




8) Have you ever gotten off thinking about something that totally freaked you out afterward?



After singing about the most warped side of humanity in LIVER for 15 years, the lines of freak out and turn on are very VERY blurred.



9) Where is the strangest place you have ever had sex?



I met a girl on a miniature golf course that was on the roof of an arcade in Wildwood NJ around 1989 or so. We went into a little windmill and have every form of natural and unnatural sex imaginable. Then the Simpsons came out with something similar and tainted a great memory for me.



10) Have you ever had sex in someone's house/bed who has no clue?



Um,... so the girl I had sex with had no clue? Id like to think not! Or do you mean,... have I banged girls with no clue....yes! As a matter of fact; dumb girls make great sex partners. You heard it here first folks!



11) Ever had sex in a car?




In - On - Under,...well I have a Jeep,....with a lift.



12) Ever lied to avoid using protection?



See, I love my penis. I love it. I also love fuckin. Its a swell thing. So that said...from day one I have always used protection. Always. Unless in a very very long relationship. My cousin told me, when I was a kid...that some guy dorked some broad and his dick-a-nick ended up lookin like a "babies foot". I have NO idea what the hell that means BUT it put the fear of god in me. SO no, I never lied - Ive always wrapped the mighty jewish viking.



13) Ever shaved/waxed your pubic hair?



I dont wax, for christs sake hahaha - BUT I do occasionally do a little landscaping. Ya know, a lil trim here and there...I want IT to look good when I whoop it out on the web cam, come on! Nothing says lewd act like a well groomed longfella! Certainly a TMI answer aye?




14) Rather give or recieve oral sex?



Im all about the giving. There is something magical about tongue lashing a woman into insanity. Id be happy if I could wear a woman all day,...like a feedbag! ( This is why I dont write romantic poetry. ) I certainly dont mind receiving, but damnit - take it all or wear it all! I had a girlfriend that would make me blow off in a towel....what the hell!?!?! She could of at least used fabric softener!!!! OW! AND, if you are gonna do oral - do freaky, wild, sloppy, loud, messy oral...I wanna hear something that sounds like a greased up tubby girl with tourettes rolling around a room full of jello and balloons with monkies being boiled alive during a wet sponge fight! AMEN!



15) Ever actually masturbated while having cyber sex?



Ive had cyber sex to frikkin lewd banner ads and cartoons, are you kiddin??? Damn that Betty Rubble, and Judy Neutron, and Josie!





16) Had a purely sexual encounter with someone you met online?



Is there another reason to have the internet????




17) When people ask how many partners you've had, you over estimate, or under estimate?



I have an excel spreadsheet with exact facts and figures,...and stats!




18) Is it important to you to know the details of your lover's sexual past?



If they have pictures or video - Id hope theyd share....otherwise no, its their business. Sure, if she wants to be open and honest - great! That being said, I dont want the juicy details on the gang bang in the football players locker room or something.




19) On a scale of 1-10, one being COMPLETELY straight, ten being COMPLETELY gay, where do you think you fall?



0.008



20) Finally, which of these questions embarassed you the most?



Well,....None of em - ok, this one because you spelled embarrassed wrong,...but I was embarrassed for you, not me.





Thank you that is all,....over.

]]> Sun, 18 Jun 2006 11:43:53 GMT <![CDATA[To Kill an American]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr?p=24 You probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.

So those pajama wearing knuckleheads know an American when they see one, an American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan.

An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.

An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.

An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person To the pursuit of happiness.

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return. When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!

As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything...the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least.

The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America. Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.

So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler tried. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.


]]> Sat, 04 Mar 2006 01:43:41 GMT <![CDATA[Overdue Update!]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr?p=20
It’s not that I suddenly have all the time in the world, far from it it. BUT I wanted to update you on a few things and lets you know whats what on a few others and generally shoot the poop.
First off, things went well with Drupal on the Virtuas web site. I can not say enough about Andreas ( http://andreasviklund.com/ ) and his design. It worked REALLY well with Drupal. And of course Raible made the whole thing happen, all I did was make the pretty pictures. One good off-shoot of this is that each “Silo” we offer has its own look and feel, and it’s opened the door for me to get back into some 3D work. A brief history on my 3D experience, I started doing 3D animation with Lightwave ( www.newtek.com ) in 1991! I got an Amiga computer, with a whopping 100 meg hard drive and 32 megs of ram! I went on to teach Lightwave at Full Sail ( www.fullsail.com ) from 1994 - 1997 and then went on to teach Alias Wavefront and Softimage with a brief run on Animation Master (Ugh - WTF were they thinking. ) I actually taught 3D animation at Full Sail before they offered a Digital Media program or officially offered 3D. That was back when it was fun. I literally stopped doing 3D animation since around 1998 because of Full Sail. Someday I’ll blog about that freakin’ nightmare - the jist is that I have a 3D background and now, with Lightwave 8.5 and 7 years later it’s like starting from scratch! Lucky for me I have a buddy, John Hood - who works for Image Works doing 3D and I can pick his brain.

We’ll also be getting into PODCASTING soon, which is VERY friggin cool. I will blog about that as well when we start ramping up and putting shows together for Virtuas.

I just got back in from a unplanned trip to New Jersey/Philly. I’ve given my friends and family here in Colorado permission to beat me about the head and neck area if I ever intentionally book a ticket and travel to the east coast any time soon. Good friends Bean and Mother lost their 88 year old granny whom we affectionately called “The Gra”. It was great seeing Bean’s and Mother’s sister Sue and their mom and dad
( who are divorced. ) I hadn’t seen either since 1998 at Mother’s Wedding. Mother’s wife Tracey got ordained and will be marrying Shels and I ( which will be May 6th BTW )
Mother informed me that he’s now 408lbs! He worries the shit outta us all as we strongly believe that unless he takes radical steps to loose weight and get healthy, he’ll be dead in 10 years. Sucks when there is no way to tell a person you care about that you don’t want to loose him and that he has a problem - and he gets pissed and tells you that you have the problem and he’s fine. He’s far from fine. Cholesterol is thru the roof, he can’t breathe, he’s miserable and chemically unbalanced IMO, and I dunno - just way to big. He snapped at everyone, just looks bad and he’s gotta feel bad but no one can help him until he helps himself. He’ll be out here in May and hopefully I can talk to him again.
Bean and I almost got stuck in the snow storm that hit the east coast, after several delays we finally did get back home. Me to Denver and Bean to Dallas both vowing NEVER to go to New Jersey again. I will of course have to go to Philly from time to time for my Mom, but really - if I go to New Jersey ( more specifically Cape May County ) in this lifetime again it will be way too soon. Maybe it’s the company I keep but eveyone there just seems miserable, pissed off at the world, bitter and thrive on meaningless drama and dysfunction. I have no time for that negative horseshit. They all know they’d be happy if they left, yet they stay and complain about not leaving and how much they hate it there. OK - if that works for you.
Well - I’m just glad to be home and just glad to be working on some new and exciting stuff. I’ll try to be more frequent with my postings.

Thank you that is all. Over.


]]> Thu, 16 Feb 2006 22:23:50 GMT <![CDATA[Loonie Fundamentalist Christians Extremists]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr?p=16
"The problem with the middle east, the jews and the muslims is simple, they just won't sit down and discuss things like good christians."

Don't laugh, thats the mind set of our diplomacy.

I'm here with one of my so called "over the top" rants. But is it really so over the top when I just point out silly and stupid shit that actually exists and that 99% of you are ok with for no good reason what-so-ever.

Is it really offensive to make you think?

I know its easier to shoot the messenger, so lock and load because most of you who hold any allegiance to any form of religion will hate this one.

Religious extremists.

Christian conservatives aren't nearly as brutal as their Islamic cousins. To accept this declaration would betray the history of gruesome deeds committed in God's name and we don't have to go all the way back to the Crusades or Salem in this country to prove the point. Eric Rudolph (the women's clinic bomber) and James Kopp (the sniper from Buffalo) come to mind as recent examples of brutality and murder supported by Christian extremists. In the same light that not all Muslims support such drastic behavior as committed by the Taliban or al Qaeda, neither do most Christians support snipers and clinic bombers. However, we are experiencing a small but growing extremist faction on both sides that sees such brutality as acting in God's name.

Remember the Taliban? Well, conservative Christians have moved the thrust of the education of their youth to specific "values" according to their interpretation of their respective texts. Although their teachings are largely based on their interpretation , it is also their fear and disdain for all things modern that forces them to enact such drastic measures on their own young "disciples."

Both groups mask their extremism as a crusade to install a "perfect morality" in society with their version of God. Both groups are involved in a moral standoff, not only against society as a whole, but against members of their own faith. Right-wing Christian evangelicals, like the Islamic Wahhabi, see conformity with and acceptance of modern or liberal values as a blasphemy and weakness in spirit to which they speak out and, in some cases, they even strike out against their own respective communities. And both Christian and Islam seem to have the unifying theme that they are trying to "save" folks from all of those evil weaknesses in order to somehow "justify" their words and actions.

Both of these religious factions stress that they are inclusive in their practice yet they are exclusive in their teachings. While many conservative Christians rail against schools in Arab countries that teach their students that all westerners are evil, deserve death and are their supreme enemy, those same outraged folks are scooping up the "Left Behind" series by the ton in order to spread the good word that they're the only ones going to heaven and everybody else can go to Hell. And if you don't hurry up and get on board with these folks,
well, don't expect them to cry any tears for you. You're just a sinner in their eyes and deserve everything you get.

Gotta love, the love. Just hoping this stuff makes you think before you blindly follow any religion. Love god if you choose, just keep your sanity and an open mind will ya?

Now you may already be a Fundamentalist Christian and since I don't care if you are an islamic extremist, I present to you - the 10 Ten Things that prove you are a wacky Christian!

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by
other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence
of your god.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that
people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with
the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a
Trinity god.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities"
attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how
God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and
ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" --
including women, children, and trees! Those damn moody trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims
about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that
the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who
got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes
in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion
years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by
pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the
Earth is a couple of generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the
exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in
all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of
Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and
"loving".

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have
failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the
floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove
Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to
answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works.
And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of
God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do
about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call
yourself a Christian.


Perspective people. That is all. Have a swell week.


-maxi]]> Mon, 16 Jan 2006 14:08:19 GMT <![CDATA[G'damn Spam!]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr?p=15 Like everyone else, I hate SPAM...however some SPAM law's need to be amended to include justifiable homicide.

Lately a company called iLinkexchange has been emailing me 4 - 6 times a day with a real shitty lame tactic trying to get me to add their link to a web site I created for a client, BingoTV. BTV is out of business and I never had edit control after I turned the site over. At first I thought this was an honest mistake. It soon became clear with all the canned email that they were entirely full of shit.

So today I tracked down the host and sent them an email that basically said I'm lodging a complaint with the FTC and I'd rather have their support and assistance, we'll see if they comply. If they are a second rate fly by night host they could even be in on the thing. But I advised them that I would give them 7 days to respond.

I will eventually create a web page for these assholes, one they won't be too proud off if they continue to email me. ;-)

SO - I thought I'd give you a few links so you can fight these weasel's

Consumer Info on SPAM

FTC Complaint Form

I'll keep you posted on this - and let you all know if this get's resolved, or if I gotta resort to "MAX" tactics. Happy New Year.

]]> Sun, 01 Jan 2005 15:47:11 GMT <![CDATA[Pop Culture Bites My G'damn Ass]]> http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HIsi2Ug8er4mJc2FDvpCjpAr?p=14

So, yes - Pop Culture Bites My G'Damn Ass! Comments like that usually signal you are officially an old cranky bastard. All through out modern times, the out going cool generation looks at the shit that’s cool NOW and say’s “What the fuck is that? That ain’t cool!” Typically I’ve always avoided trendy stuff. I had no desire to be perceived as “COOL” by my peers. Usually I'm not anyway! It was never my goal to be “popular” or to be accepted by the in crowd. I’d like to think I’ve always been true to myself and maintained my own identity simply because I’m yet to see a pop culture that says “Be Yourself, Do Shit That Makes You Happy and Don’t Give A Rats Ass What Anyone Thinks.” I kind of doubt we will ever see that. Pop Culture ( or more specifically Advertising/Marketing, Music Labels, and Fashion Designers ) takes a young generation, strips them of their own thoughts and tastes and convince them all that whatever garbage they spew out is trendy and hip and that you suck if you don’t hop on the band wagon and throw all your money at whatever they’ve deemed as cool.

Being surprised that our Pop Culture sucks is like being surprised that wrestling is fake. Sometimes I think I'm the only person in America that doesn't want to bang a sixteen year-old, ninety-pound, bleach-blonde airhead. Why is it that every time some bimbo twenty something famous chick with the body of a ten year-old boy breaks up with her boyfriend I have to hear about it through every news media outlet in the country for two weeks straight? What bugs me isn’t so much this chick per-say, it’s the fact that obviously there are enough people out there who ACTUALLY give a shit to make it news worthy. Enough to convince network and cable exec’s to put that horseshit on in the first place.


This girl offers me nothing. Nothing of substance, no thought provoking conversation, no information I can use, and not even a handjob.

Therefore, why would I give a flying fuck at a rolling donut about whether or not this chick and her dipshit fucktard spikey-haired Abercrombie boyfriend broke up? Who made her popular anyway? Isn't there some real news that we can cover?

Some people eat this shit up though. There are TV shows, Cable Channels, V-jays, Entertainment reporters all cramming crap down our throats day in and day out. Some of the mindless sponges soaking up this shit and buying into it whole heartedly are “young” people but you have to know too, there are legions of late 30’s and 40’s, 50 year old nobodies who spend hours downloading photoshopped porn of the Olsen twins into their basement computer and frantically trying to squeeze off before their ugly, irritating and overbearing wives get home and make them fix the disposal or take the dog out or some shit. And while pop culture would like to try to convince you that it's the public at large or teenage girls or something that are interested in the exact minutia of celebrity's daily lives, this bimbo worship is actually instead fueled by a society of old men glued to the TV, desperately hoping for half of Jessica Simpson's nipple to slip out of her dress so that they'll have some new wank material.

Pop Culture has convinced us all that it’s perfectly acceptable to be a great big fatso teenager. Hey we can all loose a few pounds. I’d be the first to admit I need to get up off the chair and do some physical activity before I become a great big tick. The problem I have is with people, parents, and pop culture who have let 14 year old Tiffany with the huge flabby gut and the hip hugger jeans go out in public with that gnarly hunk of fat spilling out. I’m afraid to talk at a loud tone near her because of the fear it may cause a flab-alanche! To be fair too - Fuck Jared. You know Jared, from the Subway commercials. I cannot handle the commercial where he's like, "Did you know that it takes seven thousand nasty Subway sandwiches to equal the fat content in one single McDonald's french fry?" and then stares disapprovingly at the camera. Whatever, dude. Congratulations on not being a gigantic fucking lardass anymore or whatever, but fuck off already. Being slim enough to fit through the front door of your house shouldn't be a great American accomplishment, it should be a requirement for survival. Being normal-sized isn't really that impressive, and it certainly isn't enough to make me want to eat at your restaurant or listen to any of your self-righteous bullshit. Just because you have like ten million dollars and can afford to eat a five dollar sub every single meal of your life and Subway pays for you to have a personal trainer and stay in shape doesn't give you the right to look disapprovingly at me, bitch.

There is also ZERO music talent any more. No one sings their own shit, no one performs “LIVE” really anymore.
If in the 70’s and 80’s which granted wasn’t a great period either for originality and talent for the most part, but if someone told you in those decades that Popular Music in the future would be samples and loops from current music, and that the top songs would be spoken poetry about how better you are than the other guy who talks ( not sings ) over stolen music. Or that there would be a TV show that would create before your very eyes the next American Idol…and that person wouldn’t sing their own shit,…they’d basically sing Karaoke you’d pray for the Soviets to drop the bomb on your mid 1980’s ass and end it all before it happens.
MTV was actually cool at one point. It went from a great channel to a teen age brainwashing day and evening long commercial channel. Basically, MTV is the epitome of pop culture. MTV, like a dark high priest, will make a rule, and force everyone to live by it. For example, if MTV decides to say, “Wearing your skid stained underwear on your head is popular!” the people will respond. Usually, within a week, you’ll see almost everyone with skiddy underwear on their heads.

Know why you won’t see a reality show based on a kid who wants to get laid and wants to be a star so he buys a guitar and takes lessons, and forms a band with his buds, and over years and years of hard work they play in front of friends at some dive and eventually over time gain the affection of a community, a town, a region and get a break opening for a major act and some agent discovers them and helps them cut a “record” and eventually they become super fuckin’ famous and loved world wide? Because that’s too much like work. Lazy fucks of pop culture can’t WORK for that. It’s the “instant on” generation. There is no work ethic, no struggle to make the dream come true. Plus there is no money in it. No record label is going to wait around for this kid and his mates to get their shit together. NOW NOW NOW god damnit. Plus, that same kid can go string a few loops together, “rap” about how big his dick is than the other guy – doesn’t even need a band and a bunch of other brain dead pop culture morons will chime in and tell him how good he is.

While yes, its true I do loath todays pop culture. Actually I loath anything that isn’t original. Also, if I like something and then I notice the general population likes it too, I immediately stop liking whatever it is and quit doing it,…except fucking and eating. I don’t know. I long for a day when people do what they like for themselves and not because the media says you should. I’d like to see people say, “What the hell? Some jerkoff put a pack of pretty boys together, made a boy band – and now expects me to like that horse shit??? Hey Fuck you and anyone who looks like you!” or “Hey isn’t that a lame ass disco song sampled with some white bread home boy wanna be talking poetry about his dick? Wow – talk about CRAP!” or “Hmmm, your rims and designer clothes make the statement that you are wealthy and successful yet you live at the roach hotel, work at McDonalds, and dropped out of school. Did your parents have any children that lived?”

Yes, I can’t stand pop culture. But you have to admit it’s entertaining. And as we all watch as society crumbles I do praise pop culture for one accomplishment. Thanks to them, they made the “BLOW JOB” an excepted conclusion for a first date.]]> Sat, 31 Dec 2005 14:02:18 GMT