Not much to protest other than the ignorance and bigotry that fed such a vote.

Sure, Prop 8 may be a setback, but that's all. I think the passage of Prop 8 has motivated people to get equal rights for everyone in the United States.

Are you onboard? Do you even care?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uMs58xhaNM

Yeah, I should be blogging here about my adventures, misadventures and reflections on Southern Comfort Convention.

You'll note I said "here". Because I am blogging about SCC over at TGForum.com, which is a subscription site. (Although if I can suggest, a damn good one at that. And quite affordable. And you get more stuff than from just me. Anyhoo...)

I will offer this tease: Lots of people report going to a convention like SCC, and coming home on the following Monday either deciding to go full-time, or suffering from a huge let-down and accompanying depression.

I didn't have that. Not on the following Monday, but on the following Sunday.

****

I find I have very few photos of myself at SCC. I've been able to steal a few from friends, like Christianne, who I'm sure will come down on me like Getty Images for using this one without permission.

****

I just blew more than $90 on Halloween stuff. Tentatively, there are four events over the next two weekends I could attend, but after seeing that price tag, I'm going to only hit three.

That said, for the first event, I'm recycling an older costume, but I did buy a new prop for it. And it's a guy costume.

The second costume had to be built from scratch, and that's where the majority of today's outlay came from. But, it's gonna look great.

Costume three will be created from scratch with clothing I already possess. It's going to be a rather obscene costume, (obscene meaning "offensive".) And it too is a guy outfit.

So, more than $90 spent today, the majority of it going to one girly outfit. And I still have to get shoes too.

Damn! I either need to win the lottery or find me a sugar daddy.

SCC was good. It was fun. I talked to a lot of people I hadn't seen in years, and met some new friends.

But the kicker was probably the week spent in Florida afterwards. I didn't sleep much during SCC, because I was afraid to miss something, so Florida was to be the R&R.

But, if anything, it was just as busy. Just about every day we did the same thing: got up late, went to Kelly's in Dunedin for brunch, then back to the condo, for an afternoon of sitting by the pool, and drinking.

Kelly's is GLBT-friendly, and believe it or not, three of their waiters were from Cincinnati. Small world, huh?

Anyway, it's connected to two other establishments: The Chick-a-Boom Room and Blur. Tuesday night was Drag Bingo at Blur. Much fun. Wednesday night was Ladies Night at Chick-a-Boom, so we dolled up again, and went in for free drinks. Thursday was karaoke at Blur, preceeded by dinner en femme at Kelly's and shopping at the coolest boutique around: Kina Kouture. Emma and Ruth both got some neat clothes. There was nothing that fit me. :(

Friday night was a drag show at Blur, and we were going to call it a night early, so we could hit the road early Saturday. Nope. Had so much fun talking with people, we closed Blur down before stumbling home for a 3am-ish bedtime.

Woke up around 10:30 Saturday morning, and hit the road around 1pm. Drove all day and all night through Florida, Georgia, Tennessee and Kentucky before I was dropped off at my door at 3am.

And that's the basic overview.

***

Before this month, the last time I got out was in July.

And now, I'm going out again this Thursday.
Is it overkill, or what?

So, who else from 360 is going? Just wondering, so I can watch for ya... :)

Anyway, there's a new webisode of the Rho Show.

And on to today's bitch session. I think you'll get a kick out of it.

****

This was the week that sucked. You probably didn't notice, but I had my head down over this last week. Extremely crappy mood. No, strike that. Worst. Mood. Ever. It had been building for a while, but things really hit the fan starting last weekend. I went camping with a group of friends. One of them, a rather cute blonde with whom I'd canoodled before, invited me to share her tent. Outwardly, I told myself nothing was going to happen. But inwardly, I think I was more than hoping. I think I was expecting it. As we're putting stuff in her tent, she says "Everyone thinks we're sleeping together." Uh-oh. That's not good. I translated that as "We're not sleeping together." Oh, well. No big deal. I still have a tent to sleep in. Friday night, she goes to bed early. I crawl in a while later, and she's sacked out. And I lay there in the dark, listening to the couple(s) in the tent next to us getting it on. Saturday, was a group canoe trip. I asked if we were canoe buddies and she said she had already been asked. Okay, no problem. Saturday night, she's hanging on her canoe buddy as we sit around the fire. I look around and realize I'm one of the very few people who hasn't paired off. So, I opt to go to bed early. After about an hour, I wake up with a full bladder. I switch on the flashlight, and realize my tentmate isn't in the tent. I go pee, walk back over to the fire, and see that everyone has gone to bed. Walking back to the tent, I pass by the "canoe buddy's tent" and hear female giggling from inside. Swell. So, after a summer of flirting with me, she's hooked up with this other guy. Okay, I guess I can deal with that. Long story short, when the sun comes up, guess who's back in the tent, wide awake, and acting like she'd been there all night. (I knew she hadn't because I sat up by the fire for about 3 hours.) I can handle her sleeping with someone else, (though I'd have rather had the chance myself.), but why try to cover it up? Why lie? The only reasons I can come up with are a) she was trying to protect my feelings, and b) she's keeping me as a fall-back option. *** Keep in mind also, that all of the events described herein are in guy-mode. You see, after I saw the pictures from my last outing, I'm not sure I'll be able to dress again for a while. I looked so horrible in many of them, (see above), that that mental image is going to be tough to overcome. If I can't convince at least myself that I look good en femme, I don't want to be en femme. *** Ah, but wait! There's more! I'll gloss over the general dissatisfaction at work, other than to say I feel like I'm working my ass off, and feel taken for granted. One evening, while the rest of the department went to a ballgame, guess who got elected to mind the shop? Thanks, Boss. *** So, how did I pull out of this downward spiral? A couple of good friends. One locally let me not only bitch, whine and moan to her, but also let me take some of it out on her too. For which I feel terrible. I took some nasty swings at her, and though she says she forgives me, I fear I took steps down a one-way street. Another distant friend has been there for me since college. He sent me e-mail after e-mail and helped rally a seriously flagging spirit. I'd be remiss if I didn't also thank Band of Brothers. I popped that in the DVD player, and as I watched, couldn't help but think, "well, at least I'm not in the Ardennes in December, getting shelled by the Nazis." Of course, going to the pub on Friday night, having a drink with a mate, and getting friendly conversation from a gorgeous brunette didn't hurt either. So what if we don't go out? So what if she's out of my league? It felt nice. *** I'm not 100% yet, but I do think I hit bottom, and am swimming back to the surface. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Am I ahead of my time, or what?

*****

I'm not normally a wine drinker. But, I'm out of whiskey, and rum, and vodka, and beer, and didn't feel like running across the river to get more.

So, I dipped into the bottles of wine given as housewarming gifts. I'm not normally a wine drinker. Red wine in particular reminds me too much of church. Communion and all, doncha know.

****

What's with meat sizes these days? I can't seem to find a package of ground beef that weighs one pound. The smallest is always 1.46 pounds. And most of my receipes call for one pound exactly. ("My receipes" meaning "Hamburger Helper".) Is this another sign of the growing waistline of the average American?

****

I feel badly. Twice in the last 30 days, online friends have come to Cincinnati and said "hey! Let's get together!" And both times, I've failed to meet with them. The first time was during Pride weekend, and I offered to come pick her up at her motel, but don't recall getting a response. The second time was this past weekend, when a friend said "Let's meet Sunday night at Below Zero!"

Well, I went to Below Zero's website, and found the pictures of two coworkers. Sooooooo, that was out. And then we didn't actually get to talk until 9:30ish, Sunday night, when she offered to meet somewhere else.

Well, normally, I don't work Monday mornings, but wouldn't you know it? A damn coworker asked last week if we could switch shifts, and there I am, on the schedule: Monday morning. Seeing that at 9:30, the earliest I could be ready would be 10:30...Sunday night was out of the question.

Still, I feel poorly for missing both of you.

Anyway, you may remember my Hypocracy blog from last summer.

I think I've made some progress on that front. This year, I told the boss I went to Pride. Of course, he didn't ask about my weekend: I just kind of offered it up. Sooooo, he looked at me like "why are you telling me this?"

Oh well.

Some other progress: I think somewhere I'd mentioned that it was ironic: to go to Pride, I'd wait until the coast was clear outside my front door, run to the car, drive off and then put on my hair in an empty parking lot.

Well, things have changed. I'm now living in a downtown high-rise apartment. To get in and out, I have to ride the elevator and walk through the lobby, which is always staffed.

I've only gone out about 4 times since moving here, and had few encounters with neighbors. Until Sunday. Riding down the elevator, it stopped halfway, and a guy got on. He was cool. Acted like there was nothing out of the ordinary, like he wasn't with some elephant in a dress, bless his heart. And the lobby was full o' people. And the street out front was hopping with pedestrians.

But you know what? No-one gave me grief. No-one hassled me. No-one said boo. I held my head up as I walked to the garage, and proudly went to Pride. Yay, me.

But I will say this: Eddie is heee-larious. We had a smashing time!

This was one of my few forays out into the straight world. And it could not have gone better. We parked a couple of blocks away, weren't hasselled or stared at or anything like that. One couple even stopped us to see if we had extra tickets, and they acted like it was perfectly normal to be talking to a couple of t-girls on the streets of the Queen City.

Once inside, no dirty looks, no giggles, no whispers. Of course, consider the main attraction: anyone going to see the world's foremost transvestite comedian is bound to be okay with a couple of crossdressers in the audience.

Once the show was out, same story. No problems. So, we walked over to Fountain Square and took some pictures and shot some video, and no-one paid us a lick of attention!

Back in the parking garage, we got on the elevator with a straight family. The mom and teenage son looked a little shocked, but the dad simply deadpanned: "I'm guessing you weren't at the Cyclones (hockey) game."

How cool is that?

1. There's something else going on that weekend, that I'd like to be a part of.

2. I don't always feel welcome.

Oh, sure, I've got friends who are there, mostly trans folk, and a few lesbians, and there's always a few people, queer or straight, who are just friendly to everyone they meet. But, a lot of people look at us trannies with a bit of distaste.

I get the distinct feeling that they're embarrassed by people in the TG community. And I can understand how they feel that way: gays and lesbians are seeking acceptance and approval, or at least tolerance from mainstream society. And to have a bunch of men wearing dresses roaming around... well, that just makes the whole scene weirder, and harder for this straight, conservative community to swallow.

I understand where those people are coming from. I don't agree with that view, but I get it.

Believe it or not, while we often talk about the GLBT community, we T's often feel a little left out. There aren't as many of us, but we're highly visible. When we do inter-mingle. And that's not often. Not often enough for most people, gay or straight, to be used to us.

Look at the current flap over ENDA: The Employment Non-Discrimination Act. The bill's sponsors opted to spin off "gender identity" because they thought inclusion would hurt the measure's chances of passing.

I'm not going to argue whether that's right or wrong or even just a simple reality in the current political climate. But look at the fall-out from that decision: if you've followed this at all, you'll have seen a great debate in the blogosphere as to whether gender identity should be included or not.

And there were a lot of people arguing that it shouldn't be. They say the T's haven't been as active or vocal in the struggle for civil rights as the G's or the L's or even the B's, and so we haven't earned those rights yet. They point out that mainstream Americans aren't ready to talk about switching genders; that they're still trying to get their heads around same-sex relationships. They argue that we're just too flighty.

Proponents and activists on the TG side will point out that gender identity has been stripped from previous ENDA bills, and that this time, we were "promised" we'd be included. I've read an article online, (wish I could find it again!) that traced back into the history of the gay rights movement, and demonstrated how the originators didn't like drag queens, and taught their followers to dislike gender variants of all stripes. And the author showed how that prejudice continues today, despite words to the contrary from many.

I don't want to be where I'm not wanted, and, I feel like many at Pride would rather we not be there.

But, tough cookies. One doesn't change the world by disengaging from it. Change comes from involvement. Acceptance comes from familiarity. And if the G, the L, the B and the T are ever going to get along, we've got to get to know each other better. And what better place to do that than at a big outdoor party?

Caveat: I'm definitely not the best person to look at as a representative of the T community, because I'm shy and I'm a lousy conversationalist. But, I'm easy to spot, and I'm usually surrounded with more engaging personalities, so, come on over and say Hi!

(Oh, and by the way: if you aren't sure what to wear to Pride this year, I have some suggestions.)

First..hailing from Columbus, may I present Lana and her winning entry!

And in this corner, from the Queen City of Cincinnati, Ultimate Amy!

Thanks to everyone who entered, and stay tuned for more exciting opportunities for fabulous prizes in the future!