although Strippergate wasn't really anything new in the world of politics, it sure was fun to talk about.

back in 2005, an FBI wiretap caught two San Diego city councilmembers accepting bribes in exchange for softening or repealing the city's "no-touch" laws at local strip clubs. it had all the key elements of a great scandal: sex, money, power, and feds with guns. even so, most people would agree that when it comes to buying an elected official, it's probably not a question of "if", but "how much".

it doesn't seem like anything you or i would even consider. but the reality is that there are only two small differences between people who sell themselves and those who don't: the means and the ends.

in other words, given the appropriate compensation, and of course, the opportunity, you'd do it, too.

no, you might not do something illegal for money. but what about something you'd consider immoral? that's a sliding scale, a gray area, and your position will most definitely change based on how much you're paid.

here's a simple example: how much money would it take for you to pose nude for a major magazine or website? certainly, the answer is different in every case. many celebrities have accepted exorbitant centerfold offers from Playboy, and many have declined even higher bids (Ashlee Simpson, $4 million, Pamela Anderson & Denise Richards, $1 million each, Heidi Montag, $1 million). maybe you, an average civilian with a real job and a real life, would allow yourself to be persuaded for less than those figures, or perhaps it would take even more. maybe you're telling yourself that you'd never do it, no matter the amount. but know this: for the right price, you'd find a way to bury your modesty (and your debt).

we are all for sale.

even in the most mundane, pedestrian ways, we trade ourselves for money. we offer our services and our time in exchange for salaries, and we usually head straight towards the highest bidder. hello, capitalism.

now that we've established that we're all in some way part of the oldest profession, let's also recognize that our standards will relax even further as the payments get higher. now that your clothes are off (what was your price?), what will additional money bring? would you sell your monogamy, or for that matter, your spouse's? how indecent. i'm not even sure what wild offer comes after that, but add a zero to the previous figure and think it over. make whatever justifications you want for your decisions, because either way, you get to live with them.

as with most ideas, there's a limit to how far one can take this. i'm certainly not going to kill anyone, or commit any other major crime, regardless of the dollar amount. maybe you wouldn't, either.

but maybe you would.

i mean, these things happen every day, so it just proves that we all do business a little differently. of course, it's possible that i've totally misjudged you, right from the start. maybe your will is indomitable. maybe you are completely pure of temptation. maybe you would even keep your clothes on, at any price.

yeah, right.

in this period of recession fears, bear markets, and housing collapses, here's a cheery thought:

down counts more than up.

here's what i mean. let's say you have a particular investment -- a house, some stock, a pile of gold bricks under the mattress (and hopefully a chiropractor as well). and let's suppose that in the current economic downturn, it has depreciated by 20%. sucks for you, but here's the kicker: in order to reach its original value, that investment must appreciate by 25% to reach its original value.

if you don't believe me, do the math:

• start with the original value (x)............x
• depreciate by 20%...............................x * 0.8 = 0.8x.
  
• appreciate by 25%...............................0.8x * 1.25 = x.
• arrive at the original value (x).............x

now let's pretend that your investment got totally hammered and now it is worth half its original value. well, it has to double in value before it's even worth what you paid. notice how -50% is the same as +100%.

the order doesn't matter, either. consider the case where your investment doubles first (+100%) and then halves (-50%); you still arrive at the original value.

down counts more than up.

okay, you say, some of my stocks are taking a beating, here and there, but it's kind of up/down/up/down, never much more than a few percent at a time. let's say that on odd days, your stock goes up 3%, and on even days, down 3%. you'd expect that your bottom line would stay constant, but guess what? after a year, your stock would have lost about 20% of its value.

then you'd need a 25% run to break even.

down counts more than up.

here's a simple yes-or-no question: is coffee good for you?

1. yes
2. no

if you are unsure about which one is the correct response, congratulations -- not knowing the answer is the correct answer. that's because according to recent studies, coffee has been found to have a myriad of effects, both harmful and beneficial. so let's just have a few cups, and see what happens.

well, the caffeine itself can lead to sleeplessness, an obvious side effect, but while you're awake, you may experience enhanced mental sharpness.

okay, you're awake and alert. but uh-oh, it looks like you might wind up with elevated blood pressure. is that worth the increased liver protection against alcohol?

hrmm...well, now here's a study that claims that coffee can reduce the chances of a heart attack. now the exact same study is claiming that coffee can increase the chances of a heart attack! obviously these people are confused!

one final note -- coffee may be helpful in preventing diabetes. but if you're already suffering from the disease, nope, it'll just mess with your blood sugar control.

so, what the hell? all i've learned so far is that these studies just confuse and frighten me instead of educating me. and this nonsense isn't limited to just coffee, either. to better illustrate my point, i sketched up a quick table of commonly studied foods and compounds, and listed a few of the ways those items will help you live longer and/or kill you.

and away we go:

substance	good stuff	bad stuff
vitamin D	cuts colon cancer risk fights breast cancer protects against MS lowers prostate cancer risk prevents skin cancer	sunlight-induced melanoma
fish	promotes healthy birth and child development relieves MS	contains toxic metals
chocolate	lowers blood pressure	weight gain
milk	gain muscle, lose fat increased asthma and hayfever protection helps quit smoking	weight gain increased prostate cancer risk heart disease
alcohol	protection from arthritis liver benefits kidney protection longevity	liver disease accelerates AIDS progression
aspirin	protection against bladder cancer heart attack and stroke prevention	stomach bleeding hypertension
fruits and vegetables	good cardiovascular health scurvy prevention helps maintain healthy eyesight	e.coli salmonella increased cancer effects

now, i am in no way claiming that medical research is a bad thing...just that it's crazy to live your life in fear. so:

eat.
drink.
exercise.
and do all it in moderation.

i'm on my way to Starbucks right now.

for today's entry, i'm going to try and convince you that it's more expensive to send a text message than to talk to outer space.

but first, let's begin with a story.

***************

once upon a time, there was only wired telephone service. everybody had a landline phone, and they were easy to use, but there was a problem: they were too cheap. the phone company executives could not afford to buy themselves yachts and islands and gold-plated shower curtains like everyone else! this made the executives very sad.

then, one day, along came cellular telephones. they were very, very expensive! what a great invention! the phone company executives bought yachts and islands and gold-plated shower curtains, too. and they were happy.

before long, though, there was another problem. the cell phones had eventually become as cheap as the landline phones! ¡que terrible! this made the executives very sad again.

so all the executives got together to put a stop to cheap cell phone service.

one executive said, "let's make cell phones cost five thousand dollars a month."

this sounded like a pretty good idea. but they realized that everyone would just go back to their cheap landline phones. no, cell phone service would have to stay cheap. everyone was pretty stumped.

then another executive said, "i know! we have some 'special features' on all our cell phones. let's charge craploads of money for that!"

all the executives harumphed in agreement. but exactly how much should they charge, they asked?

"an incredible amount of money!" replied the inventive executive. "for example, it should cost more to send a text message than it does to talk to, oh, outer space."

and so the phone company executives made text messaging very, very expensive.

and they lived happily ever after.

***************

isn't that a great story?

sure. but it's not true, you say. it costs a mere fifteen cents to send or receive a text message, and you sure can't talk to outer space for fifteen cents.

well, let's figure out the per-megabyte cost of texting, and see how it compares.

1 text message = $0.15
160 characters (max) = $0.15
160 bytes = $0.15
1 byte = $0.0009375
1 megabyte = $937.50

yes, that's almost a thousand dollars to send an amount of data that would easily fit onto a single floppy disk. (you still remember what those are, right?) and that's assuming that you use every last one of those 160 characters for each message. let's see how much it would cost to send a megabyte of some more common texts:

• "boy, my thumbs sure are tired from typing this long-ass text message": $2205.88
  
• "i can't make it tonight. call me later": $3846.15
  
• "meet us for drinks at 6": $6521.74
  
• "where you at": $12,500.00
• "i love you": $15,000.00
  
  

by the way, just for comparison: it only costs $123.22 to transmit a megabyte of data from the Hubble Space Telescope.

it now costs more to send a text message than it does to talk to outer space.