Dear Friends

As I am leaving on an extended trip to Europe later this week, I may not be able to post new articles for three weeks or so. I plan on returning home in mid-July and hope to be in touch with you again then.

A Cow on Mars

The National Aeronautic and Space Administration’s Mars lander, Phoenix, reportedly did some amazing scientific work on the red planet’s north-pole region.

Some pictures it sent back to Earth showed a couple of bright patches beneath Phoenix where the lander’s jet thrusters may have blown off the surface soil, the report said.

Dr. Peter H. Smith, the mission’s principal investigator, was quoted as saying that the patches look “for all the world like ice.” And the scientists said they named the patches “Holy cow,” because that was what they said when they saw them, according to the report.

When I read the report, I earnestly hoped that Korean newspapers, running the story after translating it into Korean, had not placed a living “cow” on Mars, taking the excited scientists’ exclamation literally.

In January 2004 when the Mars rover, landed on Mars and sent back the first batch of photographs, one of Korea’s major afternoon dailies, the Munhwa Ilbo, translated the press dispatch from the NASA headquarters and published it.

In the report, a lead scientist, Dr. Steven W. Squyres, looking at a picture, just transmitted from Mars, was quoted as saying: “Holy smoke…I’m just blown away by this.”

Thereupon, the Munhwa Ilbo ran the headline: “The second Mars rover lands, sees mysterious smoke.”

Reading the headline, I almost split my side laughing, realizing that the translator and editors at the newspaper had obviously taken his exclamation quite literally.

At that time, I quipped in an English newspaper article, that it was indeed fortunate for the Munhwa Ilbo that Dr. Squyers hadn’t shout: “Holy cow,” instead of “Holy smoke,” for obvious reasons.

As soon as I noticed the mistake in the Munhwa Ilbo, I sent an e-mail to the writer, suggesting that the newspaper correct the article right away, lest it should become a laughing stock. I was sure I was not the only one who did that.

But as far as I know, nothing was done about the mistake by the newspaper. That meant that as far as the Korean newspaper and its readers were concerned, the celestial smoke was drifting on Mars all that day.

I hope that no Korean newspapers have made a similar mistake this time, however. For, if any one of them did, their readers could have held their breaths and waited for the Martian cow to appear in front of the NASA camera and send a greeting to the earthlings by crying “moo!”

Seriously, though, I was amazed by the shameless or devil-may-care attitude of the translator who had apparently chosen to ignore at least one e-mail message that pointed out the grave mistake he or she made. Maybe, the translator was too embarrassed or too proud to admit it.

What was more amazing, however, was the irresponsible attitude of one of the country’s “leading” dailies that had apparently decided to brazen it out, hoping, probably, that the people would soon forget the laughable error it had made. I only hope that the newspaper did not make a similar and, of course, inexcusable, mistake for the second time.

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Elder Statesmen or Provocateurs?

Perhaps because they spent such a strenuous and nervous time while in office, two retired and presumably relaxed former presidents of the Republic of Korea seem to blurt out remarks from time to time that are not only uncalled for but often incredibly dumb.

The former presidents in question are Kim Dae-jung and Roh Moo-hyun, who were the nation’s chief executives for five years each for a total of ten years immediately preceding the current President Lee Myung-bak.

As we all know, Presidents Kim and Roh are left-leaning politicians who ran the country on pro-North Korean and anti-American as well as half-baked socialist policies. In their zeal to implement their policies, however, they often ignored the nation’s constitution and, indeed, the identity of the Republic itself.

The two presidents, especially Roh, managed to mess up the country’s economic, social and educational systems, not to mention its traditional stance vis-à-vis the Communist regime in North Korea, so much so that many citizens, especially conservatives, were upset and came to call the length of their presidency as “a lost decade.”

And they elected the conservative candidate, Lee Myung-bak, in the presidential election last December over the leftist opponent and heir to Kim and Roh. The margin of victory for President Lee was the largest in the nation’s history of democratic elections.

But the well-known collective amnesia of the Korean people has struck again; less than two months into the administration of President Lee who was given a clear mandate to govern the nation, the impatient people have started criticizing Lee for his “ineptitude” as president, especially in the field of economy, as they had obviously expected him to work a miracle overnight.

Then came the “mad-cow” scare; all kinds of unfounded and unsubstantiated charges and downright rumors and misinformation started swirling around the country against the imports of American beef that allegedly is tainted with mad-cow disease. Thousands upon thousands of protestors staged candlelight demonstrations throughout the country night after night for weeks.

Seizing upon the undercurrent of anti-American sentiment among the demonstrators, the opposition politicians, who were beaten soundly in the presidential and following congressional elections, are no doubt rubbing their hands in glee and fanning the flames of the candlelight demonstrations in the hope that they will not only wreck the Lee administration but, if possible, even lead to the President’s impeachment.

As an obvious part of those efforts, President Roh, who is well known for often making illogical, even absurd, comments even while in office, said the other day: “All those candlelight demonstrators could not have been assembled if there were organizers.”

When I heard his statement, I could not help being marveled once again at his muddled way of thinking. Surely, shouldn’t he have said that all those protestors could not have been mobilized if there had not been behind-the-scene efforts to organize the demonstrations?

Personally, it isn’t an exaggeration to say that while President Roh was in office, I often felt this maddening urge to get into his brain, if possible, to examine his thought process.

What President Roh wanted to say, however, is understandable, compared with the remark made by President Kim Dae-jung a few days later. “The candlelight demonstrations are impressive; the people are great,” he said, adding: “They are practicing the world’s first direct democracy.”

But what did President Kim mean by “the world’s first direct democracy”? Did he mean that a democratic country could--and, perhaps, should--be governed by street demonstrators? Then, why should we have a National Assembly in the first place? Why should we bother electing our representatives and sending them to that legislative body? Why, for that matter, do we have the national referendum system?

A few days later, he changed his previous stand and urged the representatives of the opposition parties, which have been boycotting the parliamentary session, to return to the National Assembly and “fight” there. I have noticed that being a fiery politician, President Kim has been fond of using such inflammatory, leftist terminology as “struggle” and “fight.” But why “fight”? I would have thought that the efforts to work out compromises through rational discussions between two opposing groups are the essence of democracy.

In any event, however hard I try, I cannot figure what the two national leaders were trying to say except that they were engaged in the kind of rhetoric that was aimed solely at encouraging the on-going nationwide unrest not as former presidents and elder statesmen concerned with the future of the country but simply as cheap “agents provocateurs.”

Back to Democrazy

The following is an imaginary conversation between the owner of one of South Korea’s largest candle manufacturing companies and his son who is a college student.

Any resemblance to similar exchanges between actual persons is, therefore, purely coincidental and the writer is not responsible for what is said here.

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Son: “Congratulations, Dad, on the windfall profit your company made on the sale of candle sticks in recent months. How many did you sell, by the way? Thousands? A million? Anyway, I think it’s fantastic!”

Father: “Thanks, son. I suppose I can say we were lucky. Who would have thought that there’d be such large demonstrations against American beef throughout this country night after night? The people must be really scared…scared of eating the mad-cow beef that the Americans are going to dump on us.”

Son: “I know, and I believe the people are doing the right thing when they decided to stage demonstrations against it, especially at night. Someone had the brilliant idea to hold candlelight demonstrations. I hope they’ll keep it up.”

Father: “Don’t worry. We received enough orders already to keep us going for months. Beside, I was told even if the mad-cow issue is resolved, there will be other candlelight demonstrations throughout the five years of President Lee’s term in office.”

Son: “Yes, I remember even during the demonstrations against American beef, some people brought up the possibility of genetically engineered corn that America might be shipping to North Korea.”

Father: “To North Korea?”

Son: “Didn’t you hear the U.S. has promised to resume food aid to the North when Pyongyang stops trying to produce nuclear bombs?”

Father: “But who said it would be corn that America is going feed North Koreans? Why not rice? Besides, who says it would be genetically engineered corn?”

Son: “I don’t know but I heard the rumor.”

Father: “Rumors, rumors. Is this country running on rumors?”

Son: “But rumors often turn out to be true, they say.”

Father: “Anyway, there won’t be candlelight demonstrations against the U.S. shipments of genetically engineered corn to North Korea.”

Son: “Why?”

“Father: “Because the North Koreans are starving; they can’t afford to be choosy.”

Son: “That’s true”

Father: “And you know when Pyongyang doesn’t want any anti-American protest in the South, there won’t be any, candlelight or no candlelight. The leftists, oops, I mean, the progressives, here listen to the North and follow it faithfully, you can be sure of that.”

Son: “Oh, Dad, that gives me an idea!”

Father: “What is it?”

Son: “When the demand for candles slackens here in the South, why shouldn’t we send candles to the North for free? Don’t they say most of North Korea, seen from a satellite, is pitch dark at night because of the shortage of electricity?”

Father: “Yes, I heard about that.”

Son: “We can help them light up a bit.”

Father: “But I doubt they’ll accept candles. After all, doesn’t Kim Jong-il want to keep his people in the dark as much as possible?”

Son: “You’re right. But I have been wondering why those anti-American protesters in the South always hit the streets at night holding candles.”

Father: “It all started, I think, when those two female students were killed in a traffic accident involving a U.S. army vehicle years ago, remember? They tried to make those girls martyrs and to do so, they needed candlelight to give it a religious aura.”

Son: “And maybe, they are trying to add a romantic touch, too, to what they are doing which, let’s face it, is quite violent.”

Father: “Well, whatever it is, I’m not complaining. I only hope they’ll keep their candles burning.”

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