Break ups can come fast and sometimes without warning. This makes it particularly difficult to know exactly what you should to fix the situation.

No matter how your relationship ended, the most important thing to do is to take a step back from the situation. When emotions are running high it is nearly impossible to make good decisions. After a few days have passed you can see how your ex is acting and come up a plan for what to do next. If you need help coming up with step-by-step strategies, then check out these guides to get your ex back.

Too many people go about getting their ex back the wrong way. They immediately turn submissive and try to beg and plead their way back into someone's life. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, they do everything they can to "buy" their way back in. But if you want to be successful in winning back love then you need to understand why your lover left in the first place. Here are the most common reasons...

Trust

You can't have a strong relationship without trust, and trust can be lost in a number of ways. Besides cheating, which is obvious enough, you can also ruin trust by showing up late, not calling, or forgetting an important event. Ask yourself how many times you let your ex down. It could be the reason they left you.

Passion

The flames of love can die out quickly without enough fuel. If your physical attraction was diminishing, then this is a major issue. You will need to find ways to re-spark the romance somehow. This means being creative and showing your ex that you still have the "hots" for them.

Boredom

If you spent the bulk of your nights together at the movies or at home, then you might have simply bored your ex away. A relationship needs to be fulfilling across a number of emotional levels. To fix this problem you need to sweep your ex off their feet. Show them that you can be spontaneous and fun.

Negativity

We look to our partners to bring us happiness and help us forget the negative things in our lives. But if you wasted your time in the relationship by complaining or being constantly negative, then you likely became more of a "downer" to your ex. No matter how bad things are at work or in life, you need to know when to put the negativity aside and enjoy the time with your partner.

By looking at some of these examples you can probably find one or two that your are guilty of. But it won't be enough to just say your are sorry once your lover has left. You need to prove to them that you have changed and this takes time. Create a strategy and do something everyday to capture their attention and make them smile. Once you have gotten their attention you can work on rebuilding the relationship.

The hardest thing to understand when trying to get back together with an ex is the fact that you are trying to spark a new relationship. This means you need to get away from the things that held your old relationship down. It is okay to apologize for some of the things you did wrong, but you should not dwell on the old stuff.

Be creative when re-dating your ex. You already know what they like and dislike so you have the advantage over everyone else. Just remember that you have to start from the beginning. This means you will have to win their love all over again. Think of it as a first date and do everything you can to impress them.

Jealousy can be one of the hardest things to deal with after a breakup. Every time you see your ex talking to someone new can ignite fears that they are gone for good. But controlling your jealousy is the only way you will be able to successfully win back your ex.

Everyone listens to the calm person who seems to have all the answers. This is exactly how you should portray yourself to your ex as well. Don't hide from the fact that they may have found someone else. Instead, just act like it doesn't bother you. Show your ex that you are strong, and that their love will not make or break your life. They will be impressed by your maturity, and the cooler you appear to be, the more they will think of you. Think of it as playing "hard to get" with a reverse spin on jealousy!