Last week I arrived one day to strange happenings in my cubicle. Angelina Jolie was guarding the entrance to my cubicle and by the time I got around her the perpetrators were gone and the area was sealed with yellow caution tape. As I stepped around the tape, I found evidence that some strange ritual had been occuring: there were guts and blood smeared across my desk, some kind of strange cards left behind, plus plasticware with salt and pepper.

I think our office is now haunted. Each day I arrive to discover bizarre, supernatural events: mouse balls transformed into pickles, cubicle walls grown to completely envelop their contents, cartons of rotten milk having materialized in strange and inaccessible locations. Soon, I expect to find rivers flowing backward, blood boiling out from the corpses of the dead, software projects completing ahead of schedule and knowledgeable people answering telephone support lines.

Surely, we have done something to anger the gods, and are about to pay a severe price. You have been warned.