We were talking about Sal going to yoga class yesterday and my sister said he'd have good balance at least. And because of the "good balance" phrasing instead of "well balanced" it took me about 5 minutes to realize she wasn't talking about his future as a skateboarder.

I enjoy wrestling with the fact that I have a huge amount of influence on this little dude's life, yet I have very little control consciously of it. I don't think "Okay, if I do X, then he'll have Y characteristic." Or maybe I do think it, but I don't really believe it and I rationalize it and I'll only choose the ones that show me in the most positive light. I know that there's little I do consciously that he's going to pick up on - it's all the subconscious things I do (that probably tend to annoy people) that he's going to pick up on. Kind of sucks for us both.

I saw a father not notice that his daughter was eating playground bark while we were pretending to order food underneath the playset at the park today. I didn't notice she was eating it either. Her aunt noticed it. Just something I'm gonna guess your typical dad isn't on the look out for. And I'm not saying I'm any better - if anything, I'm worse. Earlier today, Sal said his orange juice had an ant in it. So I took a sip, making sure I drank the ant, and gave it back to him, telling him it's okay for him to finish his juice now.

I share that story only online and not in person with Sal's mother. I think I will prefer the delayed reaction in this case.

But I think it really comes down to variety. Or is it balance? He gets a certain slant on life from his mother (she'll get him a new glass of juice). And we have an idea of mine. Then he'll get another from his nanny (women need to pretend to be women superheroes). And one more from my sister (women can pretend to be male superheroes). He's built up models of people's belief systems already - with Catherine's comment on how he didn't want a photograph taken of him acting dangerously, because he'd be in trouble with me. He's juggling a lot of perspectives in his mind.

So he's ready to benefit from a diverse environment now - more than anything I could give him. Or take credit for. Whether it be yoga or the Wonder Pets or the Marvel Superheros Encyclopedia or bug hunting with the nanny or ...

Which is wonderful when we talk about the good things he does and how spoiling him with rich environments leads to good things. But what about when they aren't so rosy? Then it gets messier. Sal's gotten into the habit of pointing out people he thinks are pretty. Which is cute and flattering if you're someone he thinks is pretty. It is a little more awkward when he says "She's not pretty." After some consideration and a little convincing/manipulation/turning it into a game, he know says "She's pretty" or "She's okay". It's a start. Not perfect, but I don't think anything I do with him will be.

Blame is another topic that is getting interesting.

I think I like to have accountability. Not so much cause I need to blame someone but because I want people to understand their actions and effects. And this varies depending on the context. In a random consumer context - I don't care as much. I was disappointed when I saw a guy scolding a cash register attendant over a little miscommunication. It is a sandwich - it doesn't matter. But at work or at home, I hold standards higher.

There's a tense in Spanish that I heard of (but never learned...wasn't the best Spanish student) that has no blame. Who spilled the milk? The milk just spilled. I think Catherine would be very comfortable with that aspect of Spanish.

And now, when something goes wrong for Sal, something inanimate is getting blamed. The toy motorcycle helmet was dropped? "Bad helmet!" is how he vents his frustration. And I'm confused about how to correct this. Correct is probably too strong a word. How to redirect. Guide. Drive. Alter. Effect. With any hope of it going in a way I want. I mean, he's got so much going on in his world as he's learning that I don't know how to communicate accountability to him. Especially at that moment when the helmet is being bad.

Programming straightforward - debug/update an algorithm.

Kids less so.