I read a lot of books between the age of 10 to 45, but I've slowed down considerably. One author in particular was a personal favorite...in fact I read every book he wrote...his name was Carl Sagan. Most people will remember him from the award-winning TV series on PBS titled "Cosmos" or the 1997 movie titled "Contact" with Jodie Foster & Matthew McConaughey. Dr. Sagan wrote many books in fiction as well as non-fiction genres. My personal favorite was "A Demon Haunted World". Sadly, we lost this great scientist, author and teacher in 1996 after a lengthy battle against myelodysplasia with bone marrow transplants and finally pneumonia. he was just 62 years old.

In 2006, Ann Druyan (Sagan's widow) published "The Varieties of Scientific Experience: A Personal View of the Search for God". This tome is basically a transcript from Dr. Sagan's Gifford lecture series in Glasgow, Scotland 1985. The Gifford lectures were established by the will of Adam Lord Gifford (d. 1887). The lectures were established to "promote and diffuse the study of Natural Theology in the widest sense of the term...in other words, the knowledge of God.

So, being somewhat addicted to Sagan's works, I got a copy of this lecture and I've been reading it, albeit slowly and intimately. I stumbled onto the following quote by Ann Druyan in an interview:

“Carl saw science as a form of spiritual discipline. Science has been the means of weaning ourselves of our childhood delusions of centrality in the universe, which in and of itself has to be considered a great leap forward for us spiritually. He also believed that to love anything or anyone deeply you must be willing to see the object of your love not as you fantasize it or wish it to be, but as it really is. The scientific method enables us to know and therefore to love nature with an unprecedented depth of understanding. The universe that science has revealed is more vast, complex, fascinating and more ancient than our ancestors, including the prophets, ever conceived. The over arching insight of modern science is the relatedness, the oneness of all. For Carl, Darwin’s insight that life evolved over the eons through natural selection was not just better science than Genesis, it also afforded a deeper, more satisfying spiritual experience.”

--Ann Druyan (2006) talking about her husband, scientist & astronomer Carl Sagan

----The Varieties of Scientific Experiences: A Personal View of the Search for God

Scientists have discovered a huge hole in our universe; see the article on MSNBC's website:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20415284/

Kinda makes ya go "Hmmm...?" I wonder what's on the other side? This hole is a billion light yrs across and it's not a black hole either, in fact it doesn't even have any dark matter! No planets, no stars, no galaxies..NUTHIN! Just a humungous hole in our universe.

A recent bout of introspection at midlife has given me cause to contemplate past, present & future. Upon reaching mid-40s, which is a half-way point of life I find myself thinking about the relatively large number of interactions that have come & gone.

There were a small handful of very, special people who vanished totally and I cared for them deeply. This deep sense of caring & compassion makes me wonder how they are doing, are they happy, did they achieve all their dreams & aspirations?

Of course, this analysis and introspection makes me review my own standing. Have I managed to accomplish those goals set forth in adolescence? Do I have enough $$$ saved for retirement? Am I happily married? Is my life moving forward, backward or standing still? Do I have some hidden pathology lurking inside that hasn't revealed itself yet?

I suppose the naysayers in our midst would describe this as a "midlife crisis" but I don't think so....I think it's just a short check before proceeding onward. Let's face it, no matter what happens there are three things that are absolutely certain:

1. You're born
2. You will die
3. You will pay taxes