Death changes you. Of course, if you are the deceased, it would. But I am talking about those left behind, the loved ones and friends who are left on this planet to pick up and carry on without your presence. As we grow older, the likelihood that someone close to us will pass on increases. If you have lost a parent, sibling, child or close friend, you are not the same after the event.
My mother passed away several years ago suddenly. There was no sickness that would allow us time to prepare, nor a time for goodbyes, in a moment, she was alive, and then, she was into the next world. I was there when she died, and it did change me. It changed my perspective and attitude towards this life, this gift we have been given. I would like to share some of the lessons I learned and how my attitude was changed through this ordeal.
I learned not to sweat the small stuff. Is it really worth “losing it” over an inconsiderate driver or a rude cashier? I think that if you have encountered a death in your life, you don’t see people as an inconvenience or an annoyance, but as a living, breathing creation of God. You may be the last person they come in contact with before they enter into the spirit realm, and vice versa. Do you really want it to be a negative or un-Christ like experience?
I learned to take death as life. It is a part of life, just like breathing and eating. There is one thing I have in common with the wealthiest human on earth, we will both draw a final breath and face God, for good or bad. Accepting your own demise helps you appreciate the life and the blessings you have. Of course, if you are a believer, you can rest in the promises of God. You know that the other side is far better then what we may experience here on this planet. I know, as I grow older, I feel the pangs of longing to be with the Lord, to be free of this body of sin, and to see my Savior face to face.
I learned to appreciate the loved ones around me, every day. We do not know the day or hour when they will depart from this planet. I do not take them for granted. My father is in his 80’s and lives in a care facility. I make it a point to visit him each week. We chit chat a little, but for me, it is just being in his company, even in silence. It is important that he knows, that I am there for him, until he takes his final breath.
Yes, death changed me. At one time, I may have believed that life was a party, get all the fun and gusto you can. I am now more mature, more serious. Life isn’t a big party; it is a battle, a test, and a journey. And when I reach the end of my journey, and pass into that spiritual dimension, I will know that life isn’t over, but the real life is just beginning.
The Message: Theology = education, not entertainment
By JIM McCLARTY For SMYRNA A.M.
I get a lot of e-mail. Due to the popularity of our Web site, I receive comments and observations from a wide range of denominations and countries. One of the most consistent themes emerging from my inbox is the general lack of doctrine and theology being taught in most churches. In its place, churches offer showmanship — clowns, puppets, lightshows, theatrical productions, surround-sound, smoke machines, rock bands, etc.
An elemental shift has occurred in the contemporary church. According to the Bible, although the followers of Christ are
in the world, we are not to be
of the world (John 17:14-16). We are called to reflect the principles and teaching of Christ, as salt and light in an otherwise decaying and dark environment. But, as church buildings and budgets have grown, churches have begun competing with the world over the disposable income people spend on entertainment. And in the process, doctrine and theology have suffered.
So, does that really matter? I mean, what's the point of theology anyway? Is doctrine really that important?
The word "theology" is a contraction of two Greek words, meaning "words about God." The Bible is full of such words. As you learn the Bible, you learn what God is like, how He thinks, how He acts, and what it takes to approach Him. It's not enough to simply think
about God. It matters
what you think about God. Proper theology teaches you how to think about God properly.
In his epistles, the apostle Paul urged the church repeatedly to concentrate on "sound doctrine." That means: solid teaching. They were not to merely imagine what Christ was like or what He taught. They were to devote themselves to the solid, provable teaching handed down to them by the apostles. Proper theology leads to proper Christianity.
Biblical theology answers the most pressing, important question any of us will ever face: "How can sinners stand forgiven and un-condemned before a righteous, holy God?" Given that we are all mortal and the ratio of death so far is a perfect 1:1, what you think about God's salvation is a very important consideration. Proper theology leads to peace with God.
And finally, once we understand our relationship with God and His Son, that knowledge affects every aspect of our lives. How we treat people, how we raise our kids, how we live in society, and how we treat our marriage, are all directly impacted by a genuine understanding of our position before God. In other words, proper theology leads to a proper life.
So, does theology matter? Yes. In fact, there is no other subject in this lifetime that will have a greater impact on your eternal destiny than the words you say about God.
Theology matters.
Jim McClarty is the pastor of Grace Christian Assembly in Smyrna. GCA meets at 904 Hazelwood on Sunday mornings at 10:30 and Wednesday evenings at 7. For more information visit: www.salvationbygrace.org You can e-mail Pastor Jim at: jim@salvationbygrace.org.
A few years ago, a movie came out entitled “Bubble Boy”. It told the story of a young man who lived his life inside a “bubble” for his protection. He sought to reach out beyond the confines of his plastic prison to a young woman whom he loved; yet that plastic shield would forever keep him from the human contact he so desired. So it is with the average Christian man, and men in general. It is not a stretch to say that most Christian men between the ages of 25 and 45 have few, if any, close friends. While we desire to create friendships and know it is spiritually as well as emotionally healthy, we remain behind our “plastic” shields, forever protected from the dangers outside.
Our “bubbles” are not built in a day, or month, or even a year, but over a lifetime. They often start in childhood. The first hurt, the first insult, the first assault on our personhood, begins the building process of our bubble. Over time, the bubbles get bigger, thicker, and more impenetrable. We get “Toughened”; we won’t let others in, not into the inner sanctum that we so zealously protect. We tell ourselves, “We won’t get hurt again like that” and “I won’t let words like that bother me”, and so our bubbles grow more and more. For many of us, we do allow our bubbles to be penetrated at least partially, when that special woman comes into our lives that we call our wives. But they only get a small opening, we would not dare remove the bubble, lift the shield or let down the castle drawbridge, because we know so well that those we let in the most, have the greatest potential for doing us harm, but to give that much of an opening to another man is unthinkable. So we wander our world like satellites around a large planet, we bounce into each other occasionally, but only for an instant, then we move on in our own orbits.
Unfortunately, the church has let us down in this area. Not intentionally, but it fosters an atmosphere of “false” fellowship. How often, in our church’s fellowship times do we simply chit chat? Do our conversations ever veer from the accepted conversation of work, sports, the weather or our families? How often do we ask a brother “How ya doing?” hoping he won’t give an honest response? And usually, we don’t. What would happen if someone asked us “How ya doing?” and we responded, “Well, I am having trouble with the wife, and the kid is getting into trouble, the job isn’t going so well, and I am feeling a little depressed right now, could we spend some time talking about it?” I would hazard to guess that most men would regret that they even asked the question and seek a tactful exit from the conversation. It is sad, and I am as guilty as anyone. We fear diverting from the “script”, the acceptable questions and answers. You know what they are: “How ya doing?”
“Great (or fine), and you?”
“Great(or fine). How’s the wife and kids?”
“Couldn’t be better, how about yours?”
“Wonderful, God is truly blessing us. How’s the job?”
“Excellent, doing well.”
“How about them (insert favorite sports team)? Did you see the game (insert day or night)?”
“Yep, they played good, can’t wait till next week. Well, gotta go, nice talking with you.”
“Nice talking to you to, see you next week.”
And this passes for fellowship. It’s not biblical, not real, not fellowship. The shields are never lifted, the bubble never penetrated, we stuck to the script, we took no risks, and leave as insulated as when we arrived, and still hungry and longing for that true beautiful fellowship that should exist. Some churches try their hand at “Men’s groups”. But these hardly foster true fellowship. They start with the best intentions, but gradually turn into bi-monthly breakfast clubs with a speaker to entertain us. We munch on our eggs and pancakes and talk about, you guessed it, sports, work, the weather and our families.
But how do we achieve that intimacy? How do we go beyond the script, push back the steel veil that we surround ourselves with? I wish I had a three-step program to fellowship, but I am afraid it isn’t that easy. That is one thing I envy about women. They are much better at this than men. I know it is hard for us macho guys to admit, but there are many things women do better then us, and one of them is developing intimate friendships. The thing we struggle with our whole lives seems to come easy for them.
So do we have to get in touch with our “feminine” side to achieve this? Well, not really, but we can learn from them. The first step (if God as blessed you with one) is with our wives; develop an intimate friendship with her. Learn of her, know her, go deeper then simply knowing her favorite color or flower. Delve into that inner sanctum, what are her dreams? What are her fears? What are her favorite memories, what are the ones she wants to forget? Know her, as well or better then you know yourself.
Secondly, get involved in a small group Bible study. Nothing develops deep friendships like a small group men’s bible study. Unfortunately, many small groups only last a short time. Men know that it takes a long time to become trusting of another man, to be able to let your guard down, to be real. Sometimes, it takes years. I have been involved in a men’s Bible study for ten years, meeting with basically the same core group of guys. It took time for us to really get beyond the walls, to be honest with each other, to experience true fellowship with each other. It has been a true blessing in my life, a blessing I wish I could give to every Christian man. It would be his second most cherished blessing, next to his wife.
Thirdly, go to your church service with an ear to listen. Instead of the usual scripted conversation, seek out those guys who are alone, and be ready to listen. You know who they are; they are ones by themselves, who no one is talking to, who have that wistful look of wanting someone, anyone to give them some time. Go to them, look them in the eye, smile at them, and ask, “How are YOU doing?” and mean it. Don’t push or probe, just listen, let them talk. If they need more time, give it to them, if they need prayer, pray with them. Whatever their spiritual or emotional needs are at the time, be willing to give.
And of course, above all, bathe it in prayer. Pray that God will lead you to that guy, that one who is need of an arm around the shoulder, a caring heart, a listening ear. Pray that God will gently help you remove your bubble, lower your shield, lift your veil.
Pray that He will give you the courage and strength to say to a brother, “I’m hurting” or “I need to talk”. It is risky and it is dangerous, but after all, isn’t that what guys live for? Risk and danger?
The Christian man does not have to live his life in a bubble; it is a choice he makes because it is comfortable and easy. But the Christian life was never meant to be easy or comfortable. If we don’t dare to break out of our bubbles, we will live our lives in loneliness and emptiness, knowing we missed one of the best parts of the Christian experience. When we reach Heaven, the bubbles will be left on earth and we will experience true fellowship, with our Lord, and each other. Why not start right now, where we are? We can do it, if we are willing to take up the challenge of not accepting the status quo, being radical lovers, and accepting nothing less then true, intimate, beautiful fellowship.
“I’m only human!” – That is often the response we give when we make a mistake, make a mess of something, or are simply, well, human. We grow very accustom to our humanness, as well as the humanness of others. We accept that others as well as ourselves will from time to time make errors, do silly or foolish things, and royally muck things up. It happens; we are only human, after all. But how comfortable are with the humanness of Jesus?
We may get rather cozy with Jesus’ God qualities. He was and is divine, perfect, holy, righteous, loving, and complete. Yet it seems that Jesus’ humanness trips us up. If you had a celestial scale with Jesus’ divinity on one side and His humanness on the other, I tend to think, in most people’s minds; His divine side would far outweigh the other. Yet, in His earthly existence, we are told they were perfectly balanced, one did not outweigh the other.
Through the Scriptures, we are told that He was perfectly divine and perfectly human. It is a hard concept to wrap our minds around, since we have no personal experience in it, nor know of anyone personally who has. How often, I wonder, must His Godhood wanted to burst through his skin and reveal itself fully? How often He must have had to hold back, not revealing more of His divinity than the situation called for. Like a diamond wrapped in cellophane, like a high-powered racecar engine enclosed in a Pinto.
But it is Jesus’ humanness that causes us to stumble. How human was He really? The questions flow in our minds as to the level of his humanness. We know He wept, but did He laugh? Did He tell jokes? Did He ever pull a trick on one of His followers? Did He snore? Did He ever make a mistake? Did He ever forget someone’s name? Questions we will never on this earth be able to answer.
The Scriptures give us glimpses into His humanity throughout the gospels. We know He went to celebrations through the account of the wedding at Canaan. We know He enjoyed the company of others as well as time alone. We know he was compassionate to those in need, showed great mercy and tenderness, yet did not tolerate fools and hypocrites. It is ironic that the attributes of His humanness that we shy away from are the ones we should most embrace. The Scriptures teach that He was fully human in all ways, yet without sin. The only difference in our basic humanness and His was that He was incapable of sin; we are fully capable to sin.
He could have easily walked this earth as a god, with a halo over His head and his feet six inches off the ground. He could have struck fear in the hearts of men and zapped all those who opposed Him. But He chose not to, that wouldn’t have accomplished His purposes. Instead of drawing people to Him, He would have driven them away in fear. In essence, He became human because we are human, became one of us so we may identify with Him. He lived as a human for us, then He died for us.
So, beloved, embrace His humanness as you do His deity. Hold on to it, gaze at it, and love Him for His willingness to become as we are. Comfort yourself with it, knowing that when you are sad, so was He, when you weep, He did also, when you suffer loss, he also knew the pain of bereavement.
Also be assured, when you laugh, He also enjoyed a good belly laugh, when you are happy, enjoying life, He did that often, and when you are in the throne zone, worshipping God the Father, totally enraptured with His glory and grace, loving Him, praising Him, know Jesus was there often and still is today, for eternity. He is God, very God, from beginning to end, yet for a short time, He was one of us. When He walked the earth, He became as we are, when we meet Him in glory, we will become as He is.