There’s Christmas and New Year, anniversaries and birthdays, National days and Holidays, and many other festive seasons in a year. All meant to be spent with those who matter to us, family and friends, loved ones. To give balance to lives, add colors and spice.

Of all the dates in a year, I got to spend Valentine’s Day, with a special heart. Ante meridiem, post meridiem, we didn’t miss a second that day. And I will always miss every second of that day.

The beauty of it is a long story which I tried, and failed, to fit in a page, because in reality, every progress is a full chapter. Simply said, the journey began on a Saturday. But how it actually came about, was purely and stunningly, unreal.

Unless you believe in God and miracles, in first loves and first kisses, in cupids and grandmothers, and that 8 is fortune, 7 is perfect, and 13 is blessed instead of bad luck, you will never see the beauty I saw.

This entry is dedicated to a soft soul, the warmth of winter, whom departed this earth, 2 Saturdays later.

All happened, this February, Valentine’s month, leap year 2008.

In the movie Transformers, the smallest and feistiest of the Autobots, is a Pontiac Solstice, called Jazz. It is one of Optimus’ best warriors.

These days however, the most famous automotive Jazz would be a Honda. Almost no one would ever relate the name Jazz to a Pontiac. Mind you, Transformers go back aeons ago… way further than the first launch of the Honda Jazz.

Why would the mind adapt easily to some changes and can completely ignore some old facts and truth, while at times we ever so strongly hold on to memories that should be better off erased from the pages of our hearts. Is it what they called selective memory? Or is it because we tend to hold on to the most extreme of our experiences? I guess it would be okay to hang on to the fondest, funniest, most fabulous, most beautiful, most meaningful of them, but why do we also vividly remember about the saddest, the most painful, the most disappointing, the scariest, and the darkest of our days?

I believe it is fair to say that for most of us, we lead normally flat days, mundane, with not much excitement. Which actually leads to a good average as compared to the occasionally bad experiences, we, mortals unfortunately have to go through. Then, add that good average with the greatness of the best things that happens, the really sweet stuff that come our ways. So what do we have? Plainly, a good life. A simple enough reason to living this life smiling all the way to the market. But yet we don’t do that. We’re way too complicated for simplicity.

Anyway, simple or otherwise, we (at least it’s me), strive to be moderately happy and free from hurting memories. I know that it may be impossible to completely erase the painful ones, and it is utterly useless to keep wondering about the what might have been. So in that light, sometimes when I’m down and blue, I’d pick up my pieces and try to reconstruct a new Jazz. Hopefully soon my mind would accept the changes and I’d left with the better parts of my memories.

Having this mindset, tell me then, why do I miss my Tuesdays so badly? Beats me… maybe I need a whole new chapter on this one.

So there, I still have this plan about the upcoming album, Tuesday Kiss. I gave myself a decade, and it has been a few months now and counting. This entry is a brief about the album's title.

Literally, I got a kiss on one fine Tuesday. A perfect kiss, that erased pains. Much like a kiss my mom used to give me when I was a child, whenever I came crying to her after I fell on my knee. She said her kiss would take away the hurt, and it did. The difference was that this kiss didn't came from her, and I didn't fall. There was no tear, no bruises. At least no visible ones.

There's this pain however, that had come about and manifested itself in my heart in such a way that it had made me believe I would be living with it for the rest of my life. Until I met somebody from my past. We did not picked up where we'd left off, as we did not leave much. But somehow we just felt it, and we knew what we meant to each other, all these time.

We grew close, we confided, understanding the fact that there are things we can change and there are things we have to live with, and they are all good. I was at my peace. And this kiss I got, on this fine Tuesday, sealed that serenity, and somehow, perfectly, started to erase the pain.

Tuesday Kiss would be an album of songs, dedicated to those with hearts full of love, with strength to endure hurts, and compassion to see happiness in others.

Now that I have stated this brief, I'll begin my journey to start the album...

That punk pulled a Glock 7 on me! You know what that is? It's a porcelain gun made in Germany. It doesn't show up on your airport X-ray machines, and it costs more than you make here in a month! –John McClane, Die Hard 2: Die Harder.

Remember the scene? It was so credible, so real, so making sense (at least to me). Well why wouldn’t it, I knew nothing about guns, and it was Die Hard, it was Bruce Willis, not a line by Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber.

For more than a decade, I had believed what Bruce said. But finally I know the truth. Glock 7 is non-existent, and there was never any gun maker that has ever produced firearm undetectable by ordinary X-ray machines. To think that I had let myself believed a lie for so long! I though I was smarter than that.

I guess most of us tend to believe what we want to believe. Maybe because it sounds credible or logical. Maybe because it sounds romantic or heroic. Or maybe because it’s just the easy thing to do. Believing that our good friends don’t lie to us is so much easier than to think otherwise.

But a lie is a lie, however you perceived it. If you keep small lies, it’ll just make you sound silly to the learned (just like when I believed Bruce). But if you are a believer of the big ones, you are heading to a catastrophe (we’ve seen enough examples). So, let go the lies, seek the truth (even if it hurts), and live it. Nobody deserves to be deceived.


“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”