Standing between Gaia and Moon, I become a River of Light. Transform my fears and doubts as you will. So Mote It Be......--> Click here Reply
Profundities. is that a word? The everyday 'headjunk' of a depressed, overworked woman on the edge.
Well, it's been ten days since the saturating rain, and hurricane force winds knocked down our neighbor's scarlett oak tree. This beautiful tree was hundreds of years old. We've known it was going to fall eventually.....he had a larger tree removed from directly beside it about ten years ago; and all the lower branches removed from this tree at the same time. (raising the canopy, i guess) The tree was slowing leaning further and further toward our home. We used to stand outside and call her to us....hoping for a new kitchen. During the last year, I was rethinking the whole tree-calling thing; realizing that it would crush...CRUSH our home....and all those within. (and we have a huge old house) So, I would go out and talk to her during storms....telling her to hold fast to her place. She has provided us with years and years of beautiful, welcomed shade in the summer, the ability to watch large squirrels play and travel from one end of the neighborhood to the other. She's rained millions of acorns for us to gather, and giant leaves that fluttered to the ground like feathers.
Last week, our area got so drenched with rain that you could almost hear the earth gasping for a breath. The storms that devastated the midwest were barreling for us, and extreme winds were in our forecast. As I spent that blustery evening in my bedroom (which it the attic....at the TOP of the house) listening to the wind rock her back and forth while she creaked and moaned under the stress.....I knew it was her last night standing as sentinel of North Wood Street. I texted my hubby and told him I was terrified and would be sleeping in my clothes because the trees were going to fall. I'm the girl that loves storms. Love the raging winds....the thunder and lightning....the blizzards that smother us in white. ....and I was scared. However, I spent the night in my bedroom. I asked the tree and Goddess to please spare us....harm none of us......and try to fall in between the houses.
She did. I was heard. These are the amazing events that show me without a doubt that I have a voice that floats thru the Universe. I spent several restless hours tossing and turning in my sleep, listening to the wind, feeling the house shaking. About 2:30 am, a loud snap and a thunderous, neverending, rumble shook our entire neighborhood to it's core. Immediately, I was up and SCREAMING, "THE TREE !! OMG THE TREE!! " I can still hear that awful sound in my head.
The length of this tree was astounding when she was on the ground. At about 90 feet tall, the topmost branches......were across the road......3 pine trees were taken down also during the fall. Amazing. We spent the rest of the night outside in the dark with flashlights and raingear. As the dawn broke, the full effect became clear. Thankfully, our house was 'skimmed' by the large branches, and as they broke off on our home, and the neighbor's .....they broke into a huge pile right down the shared driveway between our houses. The whole street was without power and since we live on a dead-end road, those at the 'other' end of the street were trapped in their homes for 2 days. A neighbor in this predicament, is also a co-worker, and we both missed 2 days of work. (Neither one of us was too sad about that fact, either)
The biggest struggle I faced during all of this....was NO COFFEE. Being almost broke, traveling to the local store for coffee wasn't always an option. When several neighbors did finally get power......we were blessed enough to recieve hot cups of coffee from them. !!!!
No heat.....our chimney was destroyed. Chunks were knocked out of the edge of our roof and railings and edges of everything. LOL
Clean up started the next day in the afternoon. By this time the warm weather that had preceded the storm, was gone and icy wind and snow was blowing on the workmen. By the next day at noon......the only thing left of that tree was a large, sad stump.
I mourn trees. I send them blessings when I see them cut and being hauled on the backs of trucks. I mourn this tree, too. My daughter and I, both touched the top most branches of her while she lie there....knowing no human had ever touched her there. It was very moving and sad. I quietly said a Blessing and know that her spirit is back out there and will move into a seed some where. I've saved a piece of that ol' tree, and will plant some of her seeds......
I am thankful we weren't hurt. I am thankful for all she provided for us, and others, all these long years. But will always miss that tree.
My daughter Crystal cooked her first turkey yesterday. Needless to say, we all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. ![]()
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cxBTfII7uw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cxBTfII7uw
oK. Parts of it have since faded...but lately my dreams have been spiritually symbolic.....ie: struggling to climb up narrow, small stairs to the top of a house or building. sitting atop very tall, super tall, totally tall platform in the sky. Now last night...or early this morning as the case may be...... The weirdest, anger, HATRED filled dream occurred. Let me set the stage first with one or two of the familiar items in the dream.
A few weeks ago, my son, Benjamin, purchased an old, army gas mask kit. ??? (no, i have NO clue, why...... except that it was near halloween....) I had a very cool, doggie named Charley.....who had to be put to sleep because we couldn't afford to fix him. :(
and my father passed away about 3 years ago.
Fast forward to this damnable dream of last night.....
i don't remember the beginning.....or why things were...the way they were...but my hubby was pumping wonderful smelling air into this gas mask from another room via a very long hose. I got up, still wearing this damn gas mask, and peeked into the room he was in......and he was vacuuming/pumping from an old metal milk can. Strange thing.....he was pumping the ashes of my deceased Father, and the deceased dog, Charley.....into my lungs. ?????????? Stranger thing?? well, my dad was not cremated. I don't have the ashes of anyone. ?????
Well, in this dream......at my discovery that I was inhaling lost loved ones....I was livid. Full of HATE. HATED my husband. Beating him......kicking him, and ended up throwing him overboard........ How I/We got onto a boat....I dunno. ?? I woke up screaming obscenities. LOUDLY. I hardly ever do that.
The interpretation of this dream is befuddling. But subconsciously I really do know what it means....right?? Even since starting to type this, I have forgotten more and more parts of this damn dream. I also remember laughing like a hyena when his shoe floated up to the surface of the ocean/lake/pool. ???? evil bitch that i am. Of course.....he was evil in the first place sucking the ashes up and into my athsmatic lungs.....right????
Just thought I'd share.
sorry for wasting your time. LOL.
cindy.