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Last updated Wed Oct 29, 2008 Member since September 2005

Standing between Gaia and Moon, I become a River of Light. Transform my fears and doubts as you will. So Mote It Be......--> Click here Reply

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Profundities. is that a word? The everyday 'headjunk' of a depressed, overworked woman on the edge.

Scarlett Oak
Scarlett Oak magnify

Well, it's been ten days since the saturating rain, and hurricane force winds knocked down our neighbor's scarlett oak tree. This beautiful tree was hundreds of years old. We've known it was going to fall eventually.....he had a larger tree removed from directly beside it about ten years ago; and all the lower branches removed from this tree at the same time. (raising the canopy, i guess) The tree was slowing leaning further and further toward our home. We used to stand outside and call her to us....hoping for a new kitchen. During the last year, I was rethinking the whole tree-calling thing; realizing that it would crush...CRUSH our home....and all those within. (and we have a huge old house) So, I would go out and talk to her during storms....telling her to hold fast to her place. She has provided us with years and years of beautiful, welcomed shade in the summer, the ability to watch large squirrels play and travel from one end of the neighborhood to the other. She's rained millions of acorns for us to gather, and giant leaves that fluttered to the ground like feathers.

Last week, our area got so drenched with rain that you could almost hear the earth gasping for a breath. The storms that devastated the midwest were barreling for us, and extreme winds were in our forecast. As I spent that blustery evening in my bedroom (which it the attic....at the TOP of the house) listening to the wind rock her back and forth while she creaked and moaned under the stress.....I knew it was her last night standing as sentinel of North Wood Street. I texted my hubby and told him I was terrified and would be sleeping in my clothes because the trees were going to fall. I'm the girl that loves storms. Love the raging winds....the thunder and lightning....the blizzards that smother us in white. ....and I was scared. However, I spent the night in my bedroom. I asked the tree and Goddess to please spare us....harm none of us......and try to fall in between the houses.

She did. I was heard. These are the amazing events that show me without a doubt that I have a voice that floats thru the Universe. I spent several restless hours tossing and turning in my sleep, listening to the wind, feeling the house shaking. About 2:30 am, a loud snap and a thunderous, neverending, rumble shook our entire neighborhood to it's core. Immediately, I was up and SCREAMING, "THE TREE !! OMG THE TREE!! " I can still hear that awful sound in my head.

The length of this tree was astounding when she was on the ground. At about 90 feet tall, the topmost branches......were across the road......3 pine trees were taken down also during the fall. Amazing. We spent the rest of the night outside in the dark with flashlights and raingear. As the dawn broke, the full effect became clear. Thankfully, our house was 'skimmed' by the large branches, and as they broke off on our home, and the neighbor's .....they broke into a huge pile right down the shared driveway between our houses. The whole street was without power and since we live on a dead-end road, those at the 'other' end of the street were trapped in their homes for 2 days. A neighbor in this predicament, is also a co-worker, and we both missed 2 days of work. (Neither one of us was too sad about that fact, either)

The biggest struggle I faced during all of this....was NO COFFEE. Being almost broke, traveling to the local store for coffee wasn't always an option. When several neighbors did finally get power......we were blessed enough to recieve hot cups of coffee from them. !!!!

No heat.....our chimney was destroyed. Chunks were knocked out of the edge of our roof and railings and edges of everything. LOL

Clean up started the next day in the afternoon. By this time the warm weather that had preceded the storm, was gone and icy wind and snow was blowing on the workmen. By the next day at noon......the only thing left of that tree was a large, sad stump.

I mourn trees. I send them blessings when I see them cut and being hauled on the backs of trucks. I mourn this tree, too. My daughter and I, both touched the top most branches of her while she lie there....knowing no human had ever touched her there. It was very moving and sad. I quietly said a Blessing and know that her spirit is back out there and will move into a seed some where. I've saved a piece of that ol' tree, and will plant some of her seeds......

I am thankful we weren't hurt. I am thankful for all she provided for us, and others, all these long years. But will always miss that tree.

Sunday February 22, 2009 - 11:41am (EST) Permanent Link | 1 Comment
New Addition.......WILLOW
New Addition.......WILLOW magnify
New news. Well, there's a little of this, and a little of that..... I am working on my marriage.....which just needed a 'spark' or two. :) and things are going well. My kids are all healthy, and grandchildren as well.
Went thru a rough patch at work and ended up totally zapped of all creativity and inner peace. soooo....my holiday has been less than optimal....... Yule gifts were last minute, and totally lacking any oomph. We did however get a dog...!!! I know !!!
Went to the local shelter....StrayHaven....
Knew which one I wanted to see from an ad in the paper.......She was a small shepherd mix. They had named her Nicky. Went to see her, and voila !! we fell.....Our granddaughter went with us and she liked this dog immediately, too.
We spent the rest of the day scrubbing her up, and getting her acclimated to her new life. Tried to get all of us to agree on a name.....I picked Zelda.....or Gretl. Non one liked those... :)
so, we all finally agreed on Willow.
Willow has been with us for 10 days, now, and is doing well. Of course we are spoiling the heck out of her...... and am sure we will be regretting THIS in a few months. So I will be posting all kinds of vids and pix on myspace. If I want to post them here, I have to plop them into my photobucket account so I can get the HTML code..... *rolling eyes*.
Ol Bessie...(my computer) is feeling a bit under the weather. I can usually only stay on line for about 9 seconds before she conks out and I have to start all over. I just grab my email and get off. Today...for some reason.....I am on for over half an hour now. !!!!!!!! wtf??
Tuesday December 23, 2008 - 03:58pm (EST) Permanent Link | 1 Comment
Crystal's First Turkey
Crystal's First Turkey magnify

My daughter Crystal cooked her first turkey yesterday. Needless to say, we all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cxBTfII7uw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cxBTfII7uw

Friday November 28, 2008 - 06:09pm (EST) Permanent Link | 1 Comment
Entry for November 24, 2008
Entry for November 24, 2008 magnify
Monday November 24, 2008 - 06:11pm (EST) Permanent Link | 1 Comment
WEIRD DREAM
WEIRD DREAM magnify

oK. Parts of it have since faded...but lately my dreams have been spiritually symbolic.....ie: struggling to climb up narrow, small stairs to the top of a house or building. sitting atop very tall, super tall, totally tall platform in the sky. Now last night...or early this morning as the case may be...... The weirdest, anger, HATRED filled dream occurred. Let me set the stage first with one or two of the familiar items in the dream.

monapsyco Pictures, Images and Photos

A few weeks ago, my son, Benjamin, purchased an old, army gas mask kit. ??? (no, i have NO clue, why...... except that it was near halloween....) I had a very cool, doggie named Charley.....who had to be put to sleep because we couldn't afford to fix him. :( Black and White Cheeky Dog Pictures, Images and Photosand my father passed away about 3 years ago.

Fast forward to this damnable dream of last night.....

i don't remember the beginning.....or why things were...the way they were...but my hubby was pumping wonderful smelling air into this gas mask from another room via a very long hose. I got up, still wearing this damn gas mask, and peeked into the room he was in......and he was vacuuming/pumping from an old metal milk can. Strange thing.....he was pumping the ashes of my deceased Father, and the deceased dog, Charley.....into my lungs. ?????????? Stranger thing?? well, my dad was not cremated. I don't have the ashes of anyone. ?????

Cremation Oven Pictures, Images and Photos

Well, in this dream......at my discovery that I was inhaling lost loved ones....I was livid. Full of HATE. HATED my husband. Beating him......kicking him, and ended up throwing him overboard........ How I/We got onto a boat....I dunno. ?? I woke up screaming obscenities. LOUDLY. I hardly ever do that.

The interpretation of this dream is befuddling. But subconsciously I really do know what it means....right?? Even since starting to type this, I have forgotten more and more parts of this damn dream. I also remember laughing like a hyena when his shoe floated up to the surface of the ocean/lake/pool. ???? evil bitch that i am. Of course.....he was evil in the first place sucking the ashes up and into my athsmatic lungs.....right????

Just thought I'd share.

sorry for wasting your time. LOL.

cindy.

Tags: nightmares
Sunday November 9, 2008 - 12:33pm (EST) Permanent Link | 1 Comment
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