I have plenty to share with you that can be useful if your goal is to begin a new relationship with a wonderful guy and to sustain a good relationship more-or-less permanently.  Of course I can't promise that you can stay together permanently ("as long as you both shall live", as they say in a typical marriage ceremony).  But I have some suggestions for you to consider:

Love yourself FIRST and your partner SECOND!    This is not the same as selfishness or failing to be considerate of your partner's concerns, no... That’s not it at all.  Let me explain: When you love yourself: you enjoy yourself completely; you are involved in your own career and interests; you feel whole and complete; you don't need your partner to COMPLETE you (that you are empty or worthless without him) but to ENHANCE you (that you are much better with him).  When he looks at you, he can see a happy and fulfilled person who enjoys life.  When you look at him, you can also see a happy and fulfilled person who enjoys his life, too.  You can both share the enthusiasm your partner feels toward his own life but don't look at your own life saying, "my life is empty without you" because such a statement suggests that you are leaning on your partner, relying on him to prop you up and that you are sucking the energy out of the relationship and putting a great burden on him.  Over time, you will drive him away from you because nobody wants to be responsible for saving his partner constantly.  There will be times when you each may have a disappointment, a health challenge, a bad day at work, etc. and that is understandable.  You can each be strong for the other one.  But if one of you lives constantly in disappointment, malaise, persecution or some other form of misery, then you begin to drain the energy from your partner and he will soon grow weary of that and the relationship may be much harder to hold together… not IMPOSSIBLE, but much harder.

Let's take loneliness for example, since you wrote about it.  If you truly love yourself, there is your solution to your loneliness.  You have FOUND something that excites you and that keeps you fascinated in life and that is how you can maintain the energy for your life.  This "something" cannot be just to serve your partner because, as I said earlier, that is like sucking all the energy out of the relationship if he is the center of your own life's purpose.  You need to have a purpose in life that YOU can respect and that he can also respect and admire. 

You need to make money at your job.   But, for many people, that might not be your purpose in life, but just a way to survive. 

 

Maybe what you will truly love is some hobby like water skiing... Ok, that's great.  Your partner will show his friends with great admiration: "There is my beloved out in the lake, water skiing so beautifully... isn't he wonderful?!!"  Can you see how this is different than being his slave at home 100% of the time? 

 

Maybe your purpose in life might be cooking... you could prepare wonderful foods, but really take an interest in the preparation and serve it with great enthusiasm... not just to be his SERVANT but to pursue your own enjoyment of the food preparation!  The point is that you love your life’s purpose and not just devote 100% of your waking hours to being a partner to your partner.

I'd like to suggest that you participate in an Insight Seminar with Steve and me.  This is something for yourself as well as for your partner if he would do it, too.  These seminars are held all over the world.... in Canada, in the USA and in several places in Europe, South America and elsewhere.  Sometimes, there will be Insight Pride Seminars which are for the GAY COMMUNITY but much more often, there will be regular Insight weekend classes.  In just a weekend it can change your life!  Steve and I took Insight 25 years ago and I believe that it is the reason (not the only reason) why our relationship is still enduring today.  The key to our marriage (for me) is that I have found my purpose for living and that I love my life.  Since I love my life, I can GIVE great gifts (of myself) to my partner.

I had no idea what Insight was going to teach me when I first enrolled, so if I tell you anything, you're going to know more than I knew when I first took it.  In my case, Insight taught me that I am worthy and complete as a human being and self-worthiness is the key to my success in my relationship (but I've observed that it teaches different people different lessons for life).  When our relationship feels bad, it feels bad because I am not involved in my own life and I am not enthusiastic about my life... it's not bad because Steve is behaving badly.  Sometimes Steve is difficult... sure, and sometimes, I'm sure he would AGREE that he has been behaving badly – I do, too, from time-to-time!  We all have our moments of personal frustration.  But when Steve is difficult, those times are NOT necessarily related to times when the relationship feels bad.  What makes my relationship feel bad is when I fail to appreciate the goodness inside of me -- and that has seldom has anything to do with Steve being annoying or difficult.  It’s all inside of me. 

 
Among other things, I have learned that :

the way you are feeling about the problem IS THE PROBLEM and

the way you are feeling about the relationship in any moment is almost always a direct reflection of the way you are feeling about yourself in that moment! 

I am not going to PROVE these hypotheses to you right now because that would be rather long and involved and it probably requires experience and personal observation to lead to the proof for yourself as it did for me.  I’m just stating them as “truths” because I have proven them for my own satisfaction.

A friend of mine directed me to a stridently homophobic web site written by a gay man.  His premise is that homosexual love is wrong.  My response is that such an opinion is seriously flawed.

Nobody can ever prove my gayness to be "wrong" because I KNOW that it's right (for me) and I'm the only one who can know that.  I DO believe in God and I do believe that God is blessing me and my loving relationship.  If my love for Steve is a crime or evil then I would have found that out empirically by now.  God is Love.  I have Love in my heart.  Therefore, I have God in my loving heart and therefore my loving is blessed by the God that inspires the love to exist.  If a man and a woman can have that same level of love between them, and if God wants them to copulate whether or not they can reproduce, then God would have had to deliver HIS OWN message directly to me to contradict the love that Steve and I share in our hearts.  I certainly wouldn't let one of these pip-squeak, low-self-esteem radicals deliver God's message to me!

Steve has returned from his trip to Mexico.  He was there as the keynote speaker for a convention of physicians & other health professionals in Rosarito Beach.  He hasn't lost his ability to communicate with me in English.  Well, after 5 days, I was expecting him to start speaking Spanish and I was fully prepared to respond: "¿Que?" to all of his comments, but that wasn't necessary!  He understood my hugs and kisses perfectly!  Fortunately, the folks who attended the event all spoke English.  My own knowledge of Spanish vocabulary is about TEN WORDS.  By the way, TWO of those words are "LOS ANGELES"!

Very few guys on the hook-up sites are interested in friendships. They are almost all driven to hook up sexually, but I had an answer for a guy who asked me a rarely-asked question. He asked me, "What are you looking for?" and here's what I said as my response:

I'll tell you exactly what I am looking for. I have a wonderful and fulfilling love life and a great sex life, too. But many of my friends seemed a bit lost or shallow or caught-up in their minds rather than in their loving hearts. It always seems to be such an unnecessary tragedy when a loving couple meets a difference of opinion or faces unmet expectations and fails to recognize that the loving heart is so much deeper and transcends the opinions and thoughts. When they toss away their relationship for reasons like that, it makes the whole involvement seem like a waste of time and energy. But when I share these seminars of the loving heart, it teaches each of us the sweetness and joy inside of each one of us and all of our friendships are enriched as our lives become enriched at the same time. So, what I'm seeking are people who enjoy looking into their own loving hearts and who care to see into the loving hearts of others. And I'm also open to getting to know new friends on a deep and meaningful basis.