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- The Unconditional Love
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The greatest power known to man is that of unconditional love. Through the ages, mystics, sages, singers and poets have all expressed the ballad and call to love. As humans, we have searched endlessly for the experience of love through the outer senses. Great nations have come and gone under the guise of love for their people. Religions have flourished and perished while claiming the true path to love. We, the people of this planet, may have missed the simplicity of unconditional love. . .Simply stated, unconditional love is an unlimited way of being. We are without any limit to our thoughts and feelings in life and can create any reality we choose to focus our attention upon. There are infinite imaginative possibilities when we allow the freedom to go beyond our perceived limits. If we can dream it, we can build it. Life, through unconditional love, is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being.Gay Hendricks says in “The Learning to Love yourself Workbook? Humans tend to demand from others what we are most unwilling to give.Isn’t that funny. We expect and demand someone to give us what we are not willing to give. Unconditional love. If we expect that from someone to make us feel safe and loved, wanted and desired, don’t we have to understand what it is? Don’t we have to feel it for ourselves before we can accept or expect anyone else to give it to us? Unconditional love: loving without limitations, conditions, or reservations. If we don’t provide that for ourselves, what is our point of reference to measure the love that is to fulfill our lives. How would we know what we are searching for or what we expect someone to give to us? How do we express to someone what we need?In order to know that there is such a kind of love, we had to have read it somewhere, seen it in a movie or somewhere, sometime, someone showed us a glimpse of it. Right? Wrong. We were born knowing unconditional love. It is a gift, a birthright given to us from the very beginning. It’s the conditioning once our souls take on the human form that limits our belief in unconditional love. It’s erased and replaced by conditioned thoughts of the world. We learn our actions cause reactions. We learn that we are either good or bad. We learn What is acceptable and what is not. That becomes our point of reference, removing us far away from what we were born with. After time and experiences it almost seems hopeless to return.It is true that seeing glimpses of it in movies and books confirms in our hearts that it does exist. We are told that it is only fantasy. That it is the fantasy we are craving. Not true. Our spirit is craving what we knew from the beginning.We need to take the time to find out what “unconditional love?is for ourselves instead of Depending on someone to do it for us. If we aren’t clear on what it is how will our needs and desires get met? We expect someone to give us something but we aren’t clear as to what that “something?is. Following that path, we will always be disappointed. We will always place people in position to let us down; all the while they have no idea what we are expecting from them. If we are unable to express our need in a clear manner there will be no one that will understand. If it is not clear to us it certainly will not be clear to them.Finding your true unconditional love means finding the true you. When was the last time you really focused on finding out who you really are? So in reading this, the answer sounds easy but how do you begin? Where do you start to begin this path of finding unconditional love?You must work through painful experiences that create anger or bitterness in you. Why did it happen? What was the lesson to be learned in it? Be grateful for the people that were put in your path to help you with that lesson, rather than resenting them for hurting you. It is absolutely impossible to unconditionally love yourself if you harbor bitterness, anger, guilt or any other feelings that are not love.When looking through your “looking glass? you see things as you have been conditioned to see them. That woman smashed into the back of your new car because you feel you don’t deserve to have a new car. The kids are disobeying you because they don’t care about you. Your partner is angry because you blame them for things and it’s not their fault. It’s all bad luck; if it weren’t for bad luck you’d have no luck. Hear that before?It’s how you look at the lessons that will make your journey easy or difficult. Clean off your “looking glass?and let’s get started.? Focus on who you are. Write down all the qualities you know about yourself. For example; (You love helping people, You love working with children, You are creative and so on.) Write them down so you can actually see the wonderful qualities about yourself that you know are there.? Practice speaking out loud all of the things you deserve. You deserve that new car, you deserve people to respect you, and you deserve unconditional love. This is called affirmation. When your subconscious hears the words it starts to believe them. But you must do the work because no one will do it for you. You are in charge.? Find a way to return to times and places that bring up resentful, fearful feelings where your needs were not getting met. If you don’t feel like you can do it alone, find a “coach?or therapist, or a friend that will help you feel safe and loved during the times of recalling these events. Talk about them. Get honest, healthy, and safe feed back. Your ultimate idea of a bounce back partner is your life partner who is in your life to help you grow and heal these areas. The idea here is to recall them, feel them (pain and all), and then release them, let go to open up another room for unconditional love.Recalling the event or person will give you a starting point. Recall the people involved, recall how you felt, and what should have happened instead to meet your needs. How would you handle it today, knowing that you deserve to get your needs met, knowing that you deserve unconditional love, and knowing that in order to receive unconditional love you need to give it.Feel the pain that the event and people caused you. Go deep inside, feel the anger, feel the hurt, feel the rejection, feel the disapproval, feel how alone you were at that moment in your life. Cry.Cry. Cry. And when you are through crying all of the tears you have over it, think for a moment how that situation would be handled today, knowing that you deserve to get your needs met, knowing you deserve unconditional love, and knowing in order to receive unconditional love you need to give it.And finally, release the past, release the pain, and forgive. Forgive means to stop being angry about or resentful against, to relieve from payment of. To relieve from payment of the past is the step that will bring you to unconditional love. The world owes you nothing. You were born deserving it, so was everyone else. We are here on our journey’s to help each other heal.Learning how to love yourself unconditionally., creating your dream love by being clear on what you are looking for and be sure that you are able to provide that for yourself before expecting someone to provide it for you, that’s where you will find unconditional love.Sunday April 19, 2009 - 02:35pm (EET) Permanent Link | 2 Comments - Love And Honesty
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in a relationship, any relationship, complete honesty is always
needed. In fact, honesty should be part of the relationship?s
foundation. The principle behind it is that basically, no one likes
being lied to, and if a relationship is to flourish, it should not be
peppered with lies.
Lying with words is simple enough to pull off but easy enough to
detect. No matter how smooth and suave the lie has been delivered, we
all have an innate sense of knowing that we were lied to. Just feeling
that we have been deceived already hurts, regardless of whether it was
done deliberately or not.
But there is another form of lying that is more dangerous than lyingwith words. It is called emotional dishonesty. There are times that you
like the guy so much that you would do anything to keep him with you.
You would change your manner of speaking, the way you dress, the way
you wear your hair, your personal routine, everything about you, just
to please him. In effect, you are lying to yourself by not staying true
to your own identity, and you are lying to him as well for showing him
a different person than who you really are.
In the end, the truth shall come out. You are not only in danger of
losing him when the truth behind the lies is finally revealed, but you
would also lose yourself in the process. Losing yourself is one of the
worst possible outcomes in the end of a relationship; sometimes, it is
hard to regain the sense of who you truly are.
All of us have our own stories to tell, stories of how we have loved
someone and did everything we can to keep him with us, to make him stay
as long as possible. I was once in love with someone. We were engaged
for three years, and my entire world revolved around him. We are both
sticklers to schedules, but I always find myself changing my own
schedule to work around his, even if it annoyed me so much and it got
me working late just to meet deadlines. We didn?t live together, so if
he had to go on business trips that would take months, I would
patiently wait for his return, even if he has this irritating habit of
not calling regularly or even sending me email. If he asked me to wear
a particular type of skirt, I would gladly comply. I even had my hair
cut short when he asked me to, even when I love wearing my hair long. I
did that all willingly because I thought I loved him and wanted so much
to be with him.
But one day, I looked at myself hard at the mirror and saw a stranger
looking back at me. Oh, the person the mirror reflects back at me is
me, alright, but she is only a shell of what I used to be. And it made
me very unhappy. In the end, I began to realize that this is not what I
wanted for myself, and that the person he loved is not really me. So I
returned my engagement ring, and we went our separate ways, bringing
the farce to a sour end.
As Whitney Houston once sang a long time ago, ?Learning to love
yourself is the greatest love of all.? Love for your own self is
something you should never compromise in a relationship. To deny this
is to hide your face behind a mask, making the relationship nothing but
a charade.
Monday October 20, 2008 - 08:59pm (EET) Permanent Link | 3 Comments - THE SEASONS OF LOVE
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A relationship is like a garden. If it is to thrive it must be watered
regularly. Special care must he given, taking into account the sea
sons as well as any unpredictable weather. New seeds must be sown
and weeds must be pulled. Similarly; to keep t he magic of love alive
we must understand its seasons and nurture love's special needs.
The Springtime of Love
Failing in love is like springtime. We feel as though we will be happy forever. We cannot
imagine not loving our partner. It is a time of innocence. Love seems eternal. It is a magical
time when everything seems perfect and works effortlessly. Our partner seems to be the perfect
fit. We effortlessly dance together in harmony and rejoice in our good fortune.
The Summer of Love
Throughout the summer of our love we realize our partner is not as perfect as we thought, and
we have to work on our relationship. Not only is our partner from another planet, but he or she
is also a human who makes mistakes and is flawed in certain ways.
Frustration and disappointment arise; weeds need to be uprooted and plants need extra
watering under the hot sun. It is no longer easy to give love and get the love we need. We
discover that we are not always happy, and we do not always feel loving. It is not our picture of
love.
Many couples at this point become disillusioned. They do not want to work on a relationship.
They unrealistically expect It to be spring all the time. They blame their partners and give up.
They do not realize that love is not always easy; sometimes it requires hard work under a hot
sun. In the summer season of love, we need to nurture our partner's needs as well as ask for
and get the love we need. It doesn't happen automatically.
The Autumn of Love
As a result of tending the garden during the summer, we get to harvest the results of our hard
work. Fall has come. It is a golden time -rich and fulfilling. We experience a more mature love
that accepts and understands our partner's imperfections as well as our own. It is a time of
thanksgiving and sharing. Having worked hard during summer we can relax and enjoy the love
we have created.
The Winter of Love
Then the weather changes again, and winter comes. During the cold, barren months of winter,
all of nature pulls back within itself. It is a time of rest, reflection, and renewal. This is a time
in relationships when we experience our own unresolved pain or our shadow self. It is when
our lid comes off and our painful feelings emerge. It is a time of solitary growth when we need
to look more to ourselves than to our partners for love and fulfillment. It is a time of healing.
This is the time when men hibernate in their caves and women sink to the bottom of their
wells.
After loving and healing ourselves through the dark winter of love, then spring inevitably
returns. Once again we are blessed with the feelings of hope, love, and an abundance of
possibilities. Based on the inner healing and soul searching of our wintery journey, we are then
able to open our hearts and feel the springtime of love.Sunday May 25, 2008 - 05:50pm (EEST) Permanent Link | 4 Comments - Long Distance Love
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Keeping your Long Distance Relationship Strong
Love is a pleasant disease. Distance makes it worse, but many fantasies lead to the creation of castles in the air... Love and distance don't go together... but they are a reality.
This is a sick condition because when you love someone, you become dependent on the person you adore. You cannot survive without them and nothing has any meaning.
Try to define what is happening to you and try to understand your position in this situation.
. Are you really in love with this person or with the idea that represents them?
. Are you ready to act and do something to achieve your aim?
. What will happen to you if things are not the way you imagine?
These are the basic questions of your main problem.
There are many questions that worry you besides these basic ones and there are many other problems as well
If you are really serious and really sure, don't be afraid to pursue your happiness
A long distance relationship can survive if you keep communication lines open.
In a long distance relationship trust is a key factor. Trust is very important in a relationship and both of you have to have trust in yourselves and in each other for your relationship to survive. If you do not have this trust, one person or both people in the relationship may get worried, have doubts, be insecure and create tension that is not as easy to overcome when there are miles between you both.
Another way to keep your long distance relationship strong and to create trust is by always updating your mate on what you are up to. Tell them about the friends you have, the work you are doing and just your general daily experiences.
Being creative when you keep in touch is another fun way to keep romance alive while apart and can include anything from e-cards, photos to posting real love letters. Fun emails, faxes and calling to say hello to your love is also a great way to keep your bond strong.
A long distance relationship can be some what of a test for each other, and will prove how strong your love really is. Every now and then, check in with your partner to see if they are happy with your relationship and tell them how you feel as well.
On the other hand, you are far from your love and you ignore many things. Don't be impatient. Be careful: don't spend all your energy in this plan because you may need to survive after a big deception.
You need to able to openly discuss small, meaningless matters, as well as the big, important ones that may make you uncomfortable. The important thing is to be honest with one another.
Telling your mate how much they mean to you and how much you love them will always keep your love flowing.
Compliments are always a bonus! You are both together because you fell in love with each others soul and heart, so it always nice to be reminded of how much someone loves you
Think about everything and be very serious when you do so because your life is very important and the decisions you make today will affect your future.
Whatever you decide to do, decide after thinking seriously about everything and considering what your heart feels. You must be sensitive and sensible at the same time if you wish to be wise and triumph.
And I wish all peoples be happy .healthy and have good life always
amir
Sunday December 2, 2007 - 05:55pm (EET) Permanent Link | 22 Comments - true love
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true love
Sometimes when you are in a relationship, it is difficult to really know if it is true love or not. Every relationship is so unique and different from each other, but generally speaking there are certain signs that a person can watch for, which reveal true love.One of the most obvious signs of truly being in love is when people smile most of the time when they are together. A happy heart brings a happy face. If a person is very happy in the presence of their partner, chances are they are truly in love. Keep in mind that this is not just any smile; this is a smile that nearly glows, which expresses peak happiness in both people.
The passage of time is another key for couples who are truly in love. Some couples might find that time stands still while they are together, when it fact, time is flying by. This whole distortion of how time is perceived is a sign of a couple being really in love. It is almost like when the couple is together; they lose track of time and practically disappear into a time zone of their own. The love time zone has no beginning or end; it is just a steady dreamlike state of mutual happiness.
Another sign of true love is when a couple makes each other their priority. There is a lot of work and other obligations, which fill up a person’s day and yet it is a good sign when couples make each other their priority. People should obviously do what they need to do for themselves, but under all this, a deep true love for their partner should be there if it is real love. Part of being in true love of course is to understand each other’s work and obligations so that a good balance is met between these things and the relationship. The key is to make time for the person that you love, as there is a time and place for everything and everyone. Those who are in true love prioritize their partner in this way.
Random acts of love and thoughtfulness are other indications of true love. When there is no special occasion and your partner does something loving or special for you, you know that it is real love. When a person goes that extra mile to express their love, it is a good thing. It does not have to involve giving materialistic gifts but it could simply be a kind and loving gesture or even a loving conversation about how they feel about you. Random acts of love and thoughtfulness could include things like bringing a rose home to you or giving you a card or taking you out for dinner. Just watch for little gestures of love that mean a lot, at times when you least expect it.
Also, you know when a person is in love when they think of you in their plans. For example, if a person is planning to go somewhere for the weekend and they ask their partner if they want to come with them. This thoughtfulness shows true love as it expresses desire for their partner to be part of their activities or time away. Little things like this mean so much!
Finally, you can feel true love in your heart when you are with the right person. Your partner’s hug, kiss and touch are unlike anything you have ever known before. There is no mistaking it when love is for real. Also, there are no doubts for true love. There is a certain mutual confidence in a relationship that is meant to be. True love is powerful and passionate!
Friday November 2, 2007 - 08:41pm (EET) Permanent Link | 17 Comments
