So I just learned today that one of my favorite Asian actors has been embroiled in a sex scandal for a month! How did I not find out about this? It's like the best gossip EVER! I mean, for starters, the Hong Kong entertainment industry is not like America. Everyone is expected to be very chaste and not have sex before marriage and not be slutty. Sex scandals ruin their careers. Here in America, a sex video actually MAKES careers. Plus, the Hong Kong industry is tied in numerous unspoken ways to the criminal underground triads.

Genius, right?

Well, enter Edison Chen. Edison is a Canadian who was schooled in Hong Kong and is basically a well off asswipe who is really good looking. He was recruited into the entertainment industry and has starred in tons of movies, despite the fact that he cannot actually act for shit. There have been rumors for years that Edison rose to the top of the industry because of his connections to triads. He has his own clothing label and a blog where he comes across as the most obnoxious prat ever. Oh, and he's also been known for a long time as a manwhore.

But what HASN'T been known is that Edison is more than just your average manwhore. He likes to video. And take pictures. A LOT. And his prized collection of photos apparently got exploited when he took his (pink????) macbook in to a computer place. So over the past month, they've come out like crazy. There are apparently like 1,300 images. We've seen dozens. I mean... DAMN. The boy didn't skimp, did he? He was serious about this shit.

So there are pics of all these popular Hong Kong ladies stripping, sucking, use your imagination. And Edison naked. Yeah, we can see it all. And you would think that NO ONE IN ASIA HAS EVER HAD SEX from the media reaction. I mean, please. We fucking know that the Japanese are the biggest pervs on the planet. Does Hong Kong really believe that we think that China has somehow managed to only breed perfect puritans? Please. Give it a rest. Your stars get dirty, get over it! I mean, I don't think they should be given reality shows like they would here in the States, but forgive, forget, move on. Don't let this scandal rock you to the core.

On the other hand, the fact that it is this big of a deal is awesome for gossipmongers like myself. A scandal that actually has people up in arms! Ha! I love it!!! America can't manufacture shit like this anymore! We have to import it! And the fact that it's based around a good looking douchebag is just classic. If I met Edison Chen at this point, I would pat him on the back. Well, I mean, if I wasn't in a place a sniper could get to me. Because now the triads who put Edison on the map are trying to take him OFF the map - 'parently some of those photos are of wives and daughters of major businessman with triad interests. Including his current girlfriend. Whoooops. Badly done, Edison. I guess it's okay for the triads to traffick in drugs, prostitution and sexual slavery, extortion and murder, but if other people do dirty sex things in public it's a SHAME. SHAME!!! I guess I would need to learn more about the triads to find out why they're so prudish. I mean, I guess the Mafia is run by a bunch of people who think they're Catholics, so maybe it's the same thing.

At any rate, I spent this morning glued to the computer screen. Yesterday Edison had a press conference where he quit the Hong Kong entertainment industry, which is pretty much a no brainer because no one will hire him. Boy is damaged goods. It will be interesting to see if he tries to work here and in Canada, where he could become a celebutard in like ten seconds flat and live the rest of his life in spoiled brattiness. Or, if he will hide like a little prarie dog because his ass is being hunted by bad men with guns. I'm guessing he lays low for like six months, realizes he's an attention whore and can't handle it, and goes for infamy in America. Whereupon he can have sex scandals with Paris Hilton and the triads will no longer need to kill him, because her superherps will.

The only other comment I have on this scandal is that I really appreciate Chinese women now. These photos are of girls with A cups and unshaved crotches looking sexy as hell. They're working it. In American pornography, that's like... I dunno... sinful or something. We got in arguments on my gossip board because young little twats were coming on going 'everyone is Brazilian now! hair ewww!' because they think American porn is like the pinnacle of sexiness. These people are lame.

Maybe if Edison comes to America he can direct porns and help us to overcome our obsession with manipulating the bodies of women. He does it with no makeup, no eating disorders, no plastic surgery, no ritual shaving. Just good old fashioned sex. I like that in a pervy porn king. I mean, it's still misogynistic crap, but it's less detrimental to socialization among both young men and women. Edison could be a hero to feminists against American porn. He could be a fighter for truth and justice and err... unfettered access to hairy porn chicks! I would totally support him in that quest. I seriously doubt it will happen, because there's no money there. Being a crusader for positive change in the porn industry sounds rather thankless. So I'm sure he will just swap his A cup lovin' for some saline tittied mayhem here in the states and watch his $50,000 club appearance fees come rolling in.

Anyway, it will be fascinating to find out what Edison does next. I still will watch his movies. I still think he's hot. And I still think he has absolutely no remorse for what he's done, despite his apologies to the Hong Kong entertainers and fans. Oh, Edison. Why can't America make bad boys like you? You are the greatest gossip figure of the past five years in my book. Our celebrities suck. I think it would be a good time to learn Cantonese...