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A real friend isn't afraid to say what you really don't want to hear. Thank God, for friends.
- Oh, how life has changed
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This is the first time in such a long time that I've looked at my 360 page. I reread each of my blog entries and wonder, "Was that person really me"? The playfulness and spark are missing now and I wonder, will they ever come back?
My quirky attempts at poetry. I did have to smile when I read the one about coach Marcum. Actually, it was pretty good.
The letter to my dad on Father's Day spoke of the love I have for him. Judy (his long time mate) told me he cried when he read it because it touched his heart. It was so easy to express my love back then.
And then there is the love for my son that was so clear in every entry I posted. The pride, the hope, the fears. They are all there. Oh, how I miss that boy.
I miss the woman I used to be and didn't really even notice I had changed so much until reading these posts. Life was not perfect back then. I had my struggles and heartaches. We all do. And, I'm not ashamed to say there have been times over the past 17 months when it was just too hard to try to fight my way out of the darkness. It's easier to give in to it than to fight against it. But, as I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks, I think revisiting this site has been good for me. It has reminded me of who I used to be. I had forgotten that along the way.
Maybe, just maybe I can reconnect to that person again? At least a part of her? That would be nice.
Thursday February 5, 2009 - 04:56pm (CST) Permanent Link | 0 Comments - Memorial Webpage for Jerry
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I have set up a memorial webpage for Jerry. Please, take the time to visit the site and leave a flower or message.
I've sent out emails with the link to those whom I have regular email addresses for. If you didn't receive one I apologize, but I must not have your email address.
Here is a link to the site:
Memorial Webpage
With love,
AdrianneThursday October 4, 2007 - 08:08am (CDT) Permanent Link | 1 Comment - I love you, Jerry
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I'm sitting here trying to accept the fact that you are gone from me forever and I just can't do it. So many questions running through my mind that are yet unanswered. You were my life, my love, my son. How does a mother accept that fact that her child is gone? How do I go on without you? Please, God .... give me the strength to do what needs to be done today. I love you, Jerry. And miss you so much already.Thursday September 27, 2007 - 06:00am (CDT) Permanent Link | 2 Comments - Proud Mama
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Jerry is finally able to get a day pass on the weekends to spend some time with his Mom! It's been wonderful spending time with him the past 2 weekends.
He's doing great! He has a job at a hotel on St. Pete Beach and loves it! What 21 y.o. male wouldn't? Beach...sunshine....young ladies on vacation. It appears that he will be moving to his own place in about 6 weeks. A friend from his program is getting a place close to where they work and Jerry will be moving in with him.
It's been a long road for my son. He's learned some hard lessons over the past few years. Lessons I hope he takes to heart and learns from! The little things he took for granted at one time are things he would LOVE to enjoy again and I think he realizes how precious even those little things are.
Anyway....keep him in your prayers, will you? And, a BIG "Thank You" to all my friends who have offered their words of support and comfort. You guys are great and I love you all!Thursday March 22, 2007 - 07:05am (CDT) Permanent Link | 1 Comment - The dreaded Mammogram
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I survived another one!! I do have to say I was surprised to find out that they have a "soft" mammogram now and it is really an improvement over the old one! Instead of flattening your girl down to the size of pancake, it compresses more at an angle making it much more comfortable.....if ANY mammogram could be considered comfortable.
Did you know that your boobie is compressed with 20 pounds of weight? Guys..close your eyes and picture it.....someone takes your balls and puts them on a cold shelf....stretches it out...and puts a 20 pound brick on it. Not once, but several times and at different angles! Can ya feel the pain??
The Mammogram Poem
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line,)
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vice!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out.
Until next year......
Thursday February 15, 2007 - 01:36pm (CST) Permanent Link | 1 Comment
