On the other day I was watching a film – “What a Girl Wants”. There is a scene in that film which caught my attention and Lord has given me some reflections later on that which I love to share.

Libby was forced to leave her husband’s home in her early days with him. She was pregnant when she left the home. After long 17 years, her husband met her and reconciled, due to the efforts of their daughter. While he met her, very passionately and from heart he said her apology. She replied very emotionally “You think I waited 17 years for an apology?” And they reconciled and joined together once again for ever. Beautiful, isn’t it?

We are about to finish one more Easter season. All of us are observing the lent or at least trying to observe the lent a bit more meaningful than ever. Many are offering our small gifts made of our sacrifices in various ways. Many of us have done confessions already and waiting for a blessed Holy Week and thereafter. A few among us are still waiting to make our annual confessions. Whatever it is, we all are preparing and trying to repent, confess and comeback to Jesus once again.

I was making a conscience check up some days before. I found a lot of grey areas, kept hidden from Lord. I also realized that may areas which I have opened up and surrendered to Jesus at the time of my last confession are again taken back and kept in the dark areas. I even realized that before the joy of honeymoon/friendship gets into full swing, I have kicked out Jesus from many areas of my life.

The fate of the Lord, Abba Father is something similar to that of Libby in the film which I above mentioned. We have invited Abba many a times to our lives, surrendered everything, shown HIM our palace and ask HIM to stay with us in our heart. Believing us each time, with so much happiness and joy Abba enters our hearts. Soon most of us, even before losing the freshness of the newly stated friendship, kicked HIM out of our heart due to various reasons. Even if we haven’t kicked HIM out, we have taken HIM to a corner of our heart. Poor Abba, HE stayed there in the darkness, hoping and expecting that one day we will visit HIM again and love HIM with full heart.

As we are entering the Holy Week, as we are once again cleaning and opening up our hearts to Lord and saying an apology, remember that this time HE is asking you and me the same question “Do you think that I have waited this much long for an apology?” This time, Lord wishes us and invites us to go beyond the level of an apology to the level of love. In the film it was the small sacrifices of Libby’s daughter made the reconciliation possible. In the matter of our relationship with Lord, it is the biggest sacrifice ever made, it is the suffering and Crucifixion of Jesus, of Abba’s son himself, made our journey back a smooth process. And the act itself was the greatest action of love…

As Lord is love and we are created from HIS Love, HE is expecting us to be in Love with HIM. Sometimes, I use to wonder how beautiful the love of God is. Book of Genesis in Bible gives as a beautiful picture of a loving God. In chapter two, we see a God who creates everything and then giving them all to Man as gift. Chapter 3 says about a God who was having an evening walk in the Eden. I am quite sure; he might have done many a times and may a days. Adam and Eve might have joined him also… What they might have done while walking together? I am pretty sure; they might have a beautiful chatting together. Adam and Eve might have so many things to say and share about with Abba; how beautiful the morning was, how beautiful HIS works are, more than that how beautiful, pleasant and rejuvenating the walk they are having with HIM. They might have played and sang together too….

May this season of lent takes all of us beyond a level of a mere apology to the level of Love. May we all walk in His freedom Adam and Eve once enjoyed… Amen

A Priest, A Rabbi and A Beautiful Woman – These are the main characters in a commercial Hollywood film “Keeping the Faith”. They are all childhood friends. I have seen the film a few days before and I have learned one thing from the film which I would love to share with you. It is about commitment. And it can be any commitment –commitment in our personal, spiritual, professional, family or academic life.

There is plot in the film in which the priest fell in love with the woman and he later visited his Superior and has a conversation about his wish. The answer of his superior was simple, but deep. He said

“The truth is you can never tell yourself there is only one thing you could be. If you are a priest or if you marry a woman it's the same challenge. You cannot make a real commitment unless you accept that it's a choice that you keep making again and again and again.”

I will add along with the call for vocations, our personal and other commitments. I myself find that though I have taken many commitments in my academic, personal and spiritual life, most of them last for a week or two. And for last few days, I wake up every morning with an effort to renew my commitments in all the walks of my life. And it seems, ya… it is working!

I know, many of us take the commitments so earnestly, but failed to renew every day. Like I was, many of us renew our commitments when something started going wrong, which force us to sit with and ponder and thus find out the reason and then renew. I feel that if keep making our choice again and again and again every day, maybe we will be able to fulfill our commitments in a more passionate and in a wonderful way.

Love You All

I was on a fight with Lord. After long years of prayers for a particular grace, and still not granted the needed grace, I started feeling that my prayers are going in vain. And so I was bit angry towards God and therefore, the quality of my prayers started slowly deteriorating. Though things are like this, I do know and noticed that miracles keep on happening in various walks of my life – in my research and in academics, in the area of health and so on. So on December 31^st, after a long time, I sat before the Lord in an Adoration Chapel with some seriousness to thank him for the graces He has showered on me. I thanked him for 25% of time spend and slowly end up blaming Him for not giving me the grace I eagerly wish to have. Lord was silent. He heard me patiently and after some time I returned to my home.

New Year, I thought I should start it in the presence of Lord, so went to church for special prayers. Came back after service at 2 a.m. and thought of sleeping soon, but felt for reading the Bible. So I sat down for reading Bible, and what suddenly popped out my mind was the Parable of Lost Son (Luke 15: 11-32).

All of us get lost a little bit in various points of our life. Some are lost continuously. And we all struggle so strong to get back to right track through Confession, Eucharistic Celebrations, Personal Prayers and so on. And it is continuous process. And it is the act of the Lost Son – A journey back to his Loving Father.

Lord congratulates me for my efforts to walk back to Him and then He has taken me to another character in the same parable - The older brother of the Lost Son. I suddenly thought “what God is going to teach me from this character?” Lord told me “See Jaison, many a times you act as same as the Older Brother… So ignorant”.

“What? Ignorant?”

“Yup, Lord continued… See dear, the biggest failure of the Older Brother was his failure to realize that what of His Father is of Himself.” Older brother complained that his father had never given him even a young goat. But clearly his father says to him that “everything I have is yours” (Luke 15: 31).

Does He make some sence? What Lord is trying to say? I stayed for a while in silence. I tried to recollect and re-read what God was trying to say. Yaa, he was right. When I am lost, I do struggle hard to walk back. And I eventually made my journey back, before I fall back again. And what I never realized deeply in my heart is that, what is there of my Heavenly Father is also of mine. When I am angry towards God for not granting the grace I really wish for, actually I was acting ignorant. Now, I do can realize various moments in my life where I have live it up with the particular grace I been wishing eagerly. Now from the parable of the Lost Son, I do feel that Lord is not only telling us as the beauty of walking back to him, but also the need for the realization of what actually we possess as the Children of God. And I do believe now that this realization is highly needed for keep on staying with Lord and to avoid falling apart from Him continuously.

Christmas and New Year is just over. We all prepared ourselves to welcome Baby Jesus into our hearts and houses. We all tried our level best to make ourselves a better place for the Baby Jesus to stay in. I do believe that, through this parable of Lost Son and through the character of older brother, Lord is showing us not only his overflowing love, but also the freedom and power he granted to us.

Now stay calm, look back and you may find now itself a lot of graces God had already granted us, even we stayed ignorant about that. So we can be a bit more thankful for all the blessings he has showered on us in the last years. And also let us realize that Lord loves so much so that he has given us everything including His Own Son. So when we ask for a particular grace, believe in Luke 15:31 which assure us that whatever is of our Heavenly Father’s is also ours.

Have A Blessed Year Ahead.