Tips for the perfect boyfriend

When going through the line up these are a few tips to sort out the wheat from the chuff. Lets spin a perfect boyfriend together……………

He’s got to be independent

No one wants a boyfriend they have to baby-sit. Once in a while, like if he's had a rough day at work, it's great to be him shoulder to cry on, but if he can't seem to function without you and is constantly after you, he will eventually make you feel like you're suffocating, which is a surefire way to get you running out the nearest exit.

On the other hand, if he has his very own personality and opinions, can stand on his own two feet , both financially and emotionally, and is able to enjoy time away from you — while still missing you, of course — then he must be a great boyfriend.

Brian department, some intelligence

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the mimbo (male bimbo) routine gets real old, real fast. Instead of being the one in total control, you'll find yourself trying to figure out what he's really thinking behind those glazed eyes of his — or if he's actually thinking at all.

An intelligent man will constantly surprise you and keep you on your toes. He won't let you get bored of him. Besides, it's nice to have something to talk about between all that chandelier-hanging sex.

Sex animal

While we're on the topic, a great boyfriend has to be sexually compatible with you. For instance, if you're into S&M and he's more the " missionary vanilla" type, that's a problem. The two of you have to be on the same page — or, at least, he has to be willing to wear leather and use a whip from time to time.

Of course, this doesn't imply that he has to know all the right moves straight away; it simply means that you and him have an undeniable attraction toward each other, and are able to communicate your desires verbally (or with physical cues). It is important that you please each other in the bedroom, or on top of the dryer — whatever the case may be.

He’s gorgeous

I know, this one is kind of obvious, but important nonetheless. A great boyfriend will not only want to look good for you, but also for himrself. He should always look his best and be well put together — sexy underwaear and a lovely smile is a definite plus.

You have to be proud to have him on your arm and enjoy the sight of him in any light. And this doesn't mean that he has to be a Boris Kudjo clone. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you think him full bottom or slight handles are beautiful, you're allowed.

Respect is the key

This is a biggie. Your man must respect you. This means that he listens to you, even if he doesn't necessarily agree with what you're saying. And, of course, he never tries to demean or belittle you in any way, shape or form.

A great boyfriend won't ever cause scenes in public or in front of your friends and family, and will always wait to discuss matters with you in private. If he respects you, chances are that he will behave in a tactful and diplomatic manner in most situations, which is definitely a good thing.

Only one captain

Do not — I repeat — do not get involved with a man who tries to get you to eat cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast and insists that you give up poker night with the guys. You will end up resenting her more than you can imagine. A good boyfriend lets you be a guy in all your glory, poker night and all. If he's a great boyfriend, he'll even bring you and your buddies a couple of beers and make you some of his famous sandwiches (only if he runs the home, however, both can take turns at this rol.

He has to understand that men are men and should allow you to be yourself.

No Not the nagging!!!!!!!

There is nothing worse than a nag! A great boyfriend knows this and chooses his battles wisely. He knows when to speak up and when to let it slide. You don't want a boyfriend who will give you hell for leaving a couple of dishes in the sink occasionally.

However, if you live together and you stay out all night without calling him, and he lets you have it, then you're setting yourself up for disaster. This is a situation that nobody would let slide — not even a great boyfriend.

He gets along with friends and family

A great boyfriend will not only help your mom in the kitchen, listen to your dad's stories and hang out with your friends, but he will enjoy it. He'll make a real effort to get to know and love the most important people in your life. And he won't try to get you to ditch your best buds.

He'll actually empathize with your brother's getting dumped and suggest that you guys take him out to cheer him up. Not only that, but your friends won't roll their eyes and moan when you mention that he'll be joining you guys when he gets off work.

He loves you

If you have found a man who loves you for who you really are and not who you pretend or try to be sometimes, you should definitely hang on to him. A man who doesn't try to change you is hard to find. Of course, all men have their slightly annoying habits that their mate has to contend with, but if he really loves you, he will be able to cope with these.

Another way to know if he really loves you is by observing the way he looks at you and treats you on an everyday basis. If the sight of you doesn't seem to faze him either way, and he doesn't really seem to care about what you have to say, he's either playing very hard to get, or sees you as just some guy. But if a surprise visit or phone call from you makes him light up, there's no denying that he loves you.

He makes you want to be a better man

Stop making that face... any man who has a great boyfriend will tell you that he makes him want to be a better man. He doesn't have to say or do anything; it just is that way. It could be love.

What do I call you, Sir? (food for thought)

In the wake of our obsessions with titles and our ever changing traditions, what do we call the partner of a man in power?

Ever so used to the norm of First Lady, Queen or Her Highness, how do things play in a male-male situation?

Take America, our enlightened and forefront electorate. I think we are ready for a lot of firsts this century. The first Woman President, the first Black President and of course an openly Gay President. While this is not a political or moral debate. I am glad that the thought alone insights thoughts of things to come. And who holds the key, we do with our POWER to vote.

So picture this scenario of the inauguration of our first Gay President, what do we refer to his partner as………..

Better still the British Monarch, rumour has it that the current Prince William heir to the throne has broken up with his girlfriend of some years. While there are no rumours of him being gay, imagine a scenario with him as King and having a gay partner. Does he become Queen or what?

I tried coining different terms that these partners could be referred to as. But nothing convincing has made my list so far. What do you think………?

Been busy with work for the last couple of months so kind of closed shop on fun, sex, and searching for love. That is until three weeks ago. I was still trying to get my head around the whole tube system (the metro in London, been here working for a while for my company) So standing by the map at Piccadilly Circus desperately trying to make sense of the different colours and zones that this map entailed, a stranger came to my aid.

In what seemed like a thick British accent with a hint of Jamaican, the stranger pointed me to where I needed to be and went on to tell me how long my trip would take etc. Thinking my rescue had ended and somewhat relieved that I knew where I was headed; the stranger offered to walk me to my platform and introduced himself.

I don’t know whether it was my gazing at his toned body or the childish glances in between my little giggles but just before my train hit the platform, Eddie gave me his number and took mine as well. The things that go unsaid. I guess we both knew there was something………….

I found my way to Holland Park, after Eddie’s directions and the changes to the different lines. Five minutes after arriving at my destination he called to check on me and asked if he could have dinner that evening.

I didn’t have plans that evening so of course I went. Besides mentioning that he had made reservations at The Mango Tree Restaurant, I would be a fool not to accept. Anyway, less digressing. Eddie was the perfect gentleman, excellent table manners and a smile that calmed all my resistance.

From dinner came brunch the next day, a walk in the park on Saturday, Sunday lunch and a movie that evening, and pretty much the same the following two weeks.

The second date ended with an English kiss. My new term for an ‘I am not sure you will let me kiss you, but I am going to try anyway, kiss’. But by the fourth date, things were well heated and we kissed for what seemed like hours.

I must admit that I felt so comfortable with Eddie and could just stay talking hours even after just spending time with him. He would say the sweetest things and like me such a true romantic at heart.

By the second week, our hands were everywhere. Rubbing our hands against each other like two little school kids after a biology class. But luckily, a shared hotel room with my work colleague, and Eddie’s over friendly flatmates kept us from taking things up a notch.

Come the third week of seeking Eddie, we were both teased more that we could take and planned a lovely weekend away to this little Oxfordshire village he had been talking about.

It was all so romantic. A lovely 16th century Tudor House, thatched roof and oak finishing, surrounded by a lovely little lake with a herd of white swans and stables to the east of the estate. It looked like some movie set from an English movie. I almost expected to see a crew and cast hidden away somewhere.

Anyway, after an afternoon riding comes dinner by the fire (English evenings are cold!) with the works, candles and all. We started to catch up on the things that we had been kept from. We lay kissing on the floor for ages and then had a long strong session of love making. I kid you not. The English may appear upper crust and stiff, but if that is a generalisation, then Eddie was nothing like that. The passion was intense and the moves and positions were like nothing I had never seen or read about. By the end I was flushed and so out of breath. My body tingled and shook and my head spun around,(call it what you want).

Well this is where yet another dilemma begin

As we lay there in each others arms, Eddie turns to me and says that I am his first. The first man he has ever slept with. As if like a shot, I wake up from all these feelings that seemed to have paralysed my body, and mentally playback all that we did, he did and how only a pro could have moved me as much.

Then I ask myself, How real has he been? All an act? Or just a well rehearsed first timer? Was it just in the moment?

I didn’t say anything but now I have some doubts. He did tell me he had had two former long lasting gay relationships so how come I am his first?

My time in London ends soon, and the thought of a long distance relationship, doesn’t excite me. Where are my friends, help!!!!! Which side wins, the Bitch in me or the realist?

Do I forget that statement or let things go in the spirit of things to come?