Offline IMLast updated Mon Jan 15, 2007 Member since September 2005
If you are here to read the info about how to set a date for us, be sure to look at the blog How to set up a date... . Also scan my old site Reply
Getting together - a guidline Full Post View | List View
Often people say to me “Wow, your web site is really upfront and honest, you get right to the point.
- The core
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I got a very unusual initial contact from someone on either the Alt or adult sites yesterday that really went deep into the core of this guy, in the broadest terms of values and experiences.
I tried to respond in a similar fashion and that mean I needed to stipulate that while I am always 100% honest and upfront about my Sandra experiences, it is still a hidden, clandestine type of activity and it certainly means I have some degree of living a double life.
But I also tried to express how important, and depite the limitiations I have on it, essential to my life, being a TV/CD is.
I also honestly expressed that the sexual aspects of being a CD/TV are very impoartnt to me and a perhaps the biggest driving factor.
I love to be a woman, but my focus is always on the world of a woman as a sexual force. I don’t think its unreasonable to say that a woman’s concentration of her appearance, the way she presents herself, is far more detailed than a man’s. And there’s a reason in that, by their nature, they have a bigger commitment into looking good, and of course “looking good” extends in looking sexy much of the time.
Trying to look sexy and hot is something that even when it does come into play as a man, is stillseveral layers below the way a woman addressed the situation.
And that’s what excites me when I dress. Do I actually present as an attractive, desirous ,sexy woman.
Well sometimes I think ( hope) I do..
Of course beauty is a personal perception, and I know that I’m not ever guys idea of a hot chick. If you grab 50 men off the street, I might score decent with 30%, on a good day, with dim lighting!
Of course it would depend on how I was presented/packaged of course.
What I mean here is for example, sometimes when I’m out dressed, I’ll attract interest from men, but seeing me in my car is misleading because there’s a much bigger chance I’ll be taken for a GG. When this happens, before it progresses to far, I always make sure the guy understands that I’m not a GG
Then we have the % of men who are usually termed admirers.
Some of these are really only thinking about the perfect body TG girls that are skinny, curvey, and have a nice set of breasts. Well I also try to let men know that I’m not one of these.
A level below these guys are the ones who insist we are “passable”. While passing is a thrill, its also a criteria that is, at least for me, pretty hard to judge/comment on.
TO be seen as a real woman by 100% of the people in the world is something many girls, whether they are TG or TV’s have attained. I have no limits in my admiration for these girls, because it sure isn’t easy. Its so complex and requires such attention to detail that I have no expectations of ever passing in public in the day time for a shoping as Sandra excursion.
But passing doesn’t always have such stringent environments.
Also I think there’s a level of paranoia we girls sometimes feel, and many times, its not really justified
A dimly light place, an relaxed atmosphere where people are not concerned about what you may or may not be, or an environment where the people you’re interacting with just don’t have time, or need to closely examine you. Their general expectation is what they see is what people are so unless you are glaring in some way, they don’t give you a second glance. I find this to be the case at gas stations allot. I have found this in Casino/Hotels in Vegas at times
Anyway then are guys who really like Cd/TV’s. It excites them and in term I am always very excited and eager to be with them.
To tie this all up from where I stated, this is the core of my Sandra experience. I get the biggest thrills of my life sexually as a girl, who is to be a object of sexual please and use for a man. I never get tired of it, and it is that that keeps me in the game so to speak.
ANd the pay off is not totally about the actual sex, it goes deepeper into the "core" or persona of being a sexually aware woman.
If I am dressed in my frequent fashion where my mini dress just barely covers my ass, leaving the garters that attach to my stockings quite visible, and a man sees this, and then continues to look and look, and I then can see the sexual desire and interest in his face, that is the experiance, that I find sooo intense in its defination and positioning of me as a sexual,sensous woman, that it is bothintoxacating and to a deee addivitve. When it happens you just want it more and more
of being a wanted, desired sexual
Friday April 11, 2008 - 10:14am (PDT) Permanent Link | 0 Comments - Recent Playtime location
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Many years ago, when I was at the point of really getting ready to start going out in public, another girl told me the first time would one of the most exciting moments in my life. And she was 100% right on.
For some of us, the ability to get out to a club is tricky. Even worse in the LA area, over the past 3 years or so, a few main stay clubs have closed making it harder.
So I have played dress up at a different place for quite some time now. I go to what is basically a gay bath house/ health club, and after showering and shaving and a few trips through the sauna, steam room, and deck, I change into my girl self.
The club has a stated policy that fetish clothing is not allowed, so you can't go walking around as a girl. They know me pretty well over the years and certainly know that I dress there, especially since I will sometimes use the bath house to prepare for a night out. I'll get ready and do my make up to about 90% complete. dress with my guy clothes over my girl ones.
When I get to my car I slip off the guy clothes, put on my wig, get my heels on, touch up my make up and I'm good to go. The reason I know the staff is tolerant of me is that in these cases, its still pretty obvious whats going on when I leave.
As to what happens while I'm dressed at the club, I usually will have one or more men like what they see and join me in my room every visit.
Once I am changed, I first turn on the rooms light fairly low, and arrange the towel you always put over the door window when you want total privacy, so that part of the window is clear for them to look in and see me. Usually I get more bolder and eventually have the door slightly open so that its unlikely a passerby will miss what I'm offering
Over the years I have seen others do the same thing, but not very often, its very rare.
On a few occasions I have actually arranged to met men there, but that's also sort of rare.
The rooms are small and don't have mirrors and the intensity of the light varies from room to room. Sometimes in the Summer, if the ac isn't cranked, its pretty hot wearing a wig, but we all have suffered that effect I'm sure.
The club I go to is mostly an 30-50 bi, many married, crowd as opposed to a younger mainstream gay crowd and I think that helps me find people into what I'm doing there.
Its not ideal, but it does provide an outlet where I can enjoy being Sandra. As it is for many of us girls, sometimes its just great to be able to work on your make up and hair and not everyone is free to do so all their home all the time. Of course I enjoy the sex!
I'm not going to mention the name of the place in this blog. e-mail me or message me if you want to know where it is
Thursday April 26, 2007 - 02:59pm (PDT) Permanent Link | 0 Comments - How to set up a date- things that will and won't happen
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Why?
Pretty often people say to me “Wow, your web site is really upfront and honest, you get right to the real issues in describing many aspects of our scene/lifestyle/hobby”
And I think well yes, that’s what I wanted to do.
And then I always wonder why it hasn’t been more effective in increasing the % of guys who get to the point of making serious arrangements to meet?
There are also times where guys have read the site, but not really grasped the importance and sequence of what we need to set up. So I decided I should review and rework my site.
I have tried to all the information you need to begin the process of meeting and setting up a date.
I also want to make sure you understand the reason for having some rules and such.
Before you look at the details know this; I am for real, the pic’s you see are me. I exist as Sandra to be a sex object for men. If I say I’ll meet you, I will. I will try to satisfy you in the way you want the most. I am not a professional call girl.
I guess the reason I have guidelines and some rules and such is that transforming into Sandra is quite a production. It can take hours to get it right. Its not something that happens spontaneously very often (well except around the house!) It also requires a place to, and usually a place with a shower. It requires tons of supplies of all types, that that’s not even considering lingerie and wardrobe. And all of this happens in a very much undisclosed manner that one would expect is required for an alternate lifestyle pursuit.
And the worst, the very, very worst is when you have spent hours getting ready, invested the basic $30-$90 to look your best and you get stood up. It happens to all girls, no matter how careful they are
I’m not really into cyber sex, if you’re not local to me, there may be times where I am not able to respond to sexual personal issues, like “what are you into?”
Start here
The first W”
The second W”
General issues/items
Where, When, Me, Fun, Misc
The Where
IT all starts with the where as the first big consideration. If there is no where, there is no point having any other discussions.
My place is not an option. This means where I live isn’t really that big of a consideration, but where we meet needs to be in the San Fernando valley, unless I’m coming to your place. The reason is basically travel time. I work in the edge of Ventura country, so just trying to make it back into the valley is enough of a traffic adventure. The longer the travel time for me, the less play time.
Motel features There are some motels that are better than others, although my criteria may be different than your. Its best if the bathroom is complete and behind a closed door. Allot of motels have the vanity mirror separated from where the shower and toilet are. This is not ideal for our situation in that I can’t stay out of site while doing my make-up and such. Drive ups, where I can park by the room are usually a good feature.
I will not get the room so that you can pay me back when you arrive
Also, I’m not really comfortable in public except at TV/CD/T Girl bars and clubs, so I won’t be meeting you for a quiet dinner, however it is always sweet when you want a date like that. It can happen, but not right away.
The When…… Its up to you
The impetus for a date is totally on you
Its up to you to maintain the impetus toward getting together, until we get to the point where a day, time and place is agreed upon, I won't be contacting you to check on things (well that’s true only about 95% of the time since they might be exceptions
If you close an e-mail with “Let me know when you’re available” we’re probably not going to hook up.
I don't tell guys when I'm possibly available because I'd be making semi promises to 5-20 guys a week. And since its unlikely than even 1 out of 30 will come through, its sort of non productive for me to handle it that way
The most detailed I get at this point is something like, "the next 2 weeks are bad for me"
Once we have both committed to a date, I would actively keep in touch because things change pretty often and once I give my word, the relationship between us has changed, in that I have committed to something so am no longer just a passive participant.
So this means you need to purpose specific time and place which I then look at to see if they might work with my schedule.
Basic availability: Usually I have about 3 hours for weekday/night motel dates. Sometimes I have significantly more where I am free until 1 or 2 am. This is usually a Monday night. I am almost never free on Saturday and Sunday.
We do need to confirm 2 days before the date and need to have a way to get in touch incase either of us has to cancel at the last minute
The Phone
I will not call you to set up a date. I am very cautious with the phone and its also not easy to find the time and place to place calls as Sandra.
However, if we get to the point of having set a time and place for a date, if we need to, I would call you as we are on final approach, so to speak. And once we have met, the phone becomes a viable option.
Its up to you to maintain the impetus toward getting together, until we get to the point where a day, time and place is agreed upon, I won't be contacting you to check on things (well that’s true only about 95% of the time since they might be exceptions).
Who am I, Who will I show up as
There are times when I will be completely dressed when we meet. However it is more likely I will have to change and prepare when I get to our meeting place. I am always inclined to not be seen as a guy before I change/transform. Some guys like to see me and watch me transform. Some guys don’t care if they see me, they let me in and just go hang somewhere until I’m ready. It can take from 35-60 minutes to get ready
I like cool dark rooms. I don’t like the daylight much
If I’m coming to your place, I need to know about the parking, how far will I need to walk (this is only a consideration when I’m coming to you dressed). Do I have to go through a lobby, be buzzed in, talk to the doorman etc.
I’m always hot in woman’s clothes and the wig is a constant source of temperature so I’m always thirsy
Water, Beer, Italian Red wine, JD, Mandarin Vodka
I was a musician for many years so I am not un familial with common recreational drugs.
I don’t have any experience with the new erection helpers, but am always willing to learn.
You can take picture, I only want copies if you do
I am a sub and a bottom
I’m into role playing.
I love to be spanked
I enjoy mild restraints
You can bring another guy, “Girl”, or “gg “, just let me know
If you want to web cast our session, that’s cool with me.
Porn is cool
IF you have something you want me to wear, sure, lets talk about sizes first
If you have some wild fantasy idea, lets talk about it.
It sure sounds like allot of rules and it seems that way when I type them, but I stick to these guidelines because in the 9 or so years I have been a CD/TV and on line, they have proven to be solid ways to proceed
General
Where many go wrong; The internet is an anonymous protocol, where anybody can claim to be anybody. All you have to go on in trying to get a feel for a person is their words, the way they express themselves and how they respond to your words and such. To me, if I see any inconsistency, red flag #1 goes right up.
If a guy says he has read my site and understands and wants to work towards a meeting, and then asks how’s today looking, that’s a red flag. It shows he didn’t really get the part about the amount of time it takes for me to become Sandra, among other things.
However, once we have established a rapport, I will work the details with you, update you and such. But not until I’m as sure as I can be that we are progressing
Also, if you have no profile, I may, or may not respond to an IM/PM
If you chat with me a few times, sort of dancing around, and never seem to move towards a meeting, I may start to pay less attention to you. Its not personal or that I think you’re a jerk. Its again that I usually get allot of guys trying to talk to me and after a while its that I have only so much time to slut around on the internet, and I am always looking for real time.
If you continue to ask questions like, “Why not tonight?” you can expect our dialog will end abruptly
Retaining my amateur status; I am not a professional sex worker. I do not charge for sex. However it costs me a minimum of $25 for various girl supplies for any type of date. Usually its much, much more. The issue is that although I make a very solid living, since Sandra is a hidden lifestyle for me and I am married, I can't divert money at will to the Sandra Slut fund. If you are so inclined a small donation to this fund is always welcome. This is not a shakedown or a requirement. It does by the nature of expenses help me when I'm planning a date to know that I can use more funds that I would seem to have available on any given day because I will get a small refund when I meet the guy. Of course this has backfired on me when I get ready for a date and spend $90 when I could only spend $60 without it being too obvious because the guy has stated he will gladly tip me $30 when we meet, and then he stands me up. Its just way expensive to be a woman! You have no idea until you walked in her heels.
The bottom line
As I always say, to meet me for fun really only takes some patience, it will happen if you pursue it. Really, I would be surprised if it was easy all the time to set up dates. Los Angeles is a big place, it’s hard enough to schedule a meeting with any 2 people today, much less when it is involving a clandestine and alternate lifestyle!
Places to Find Sandra
Alt.com
adultfriendfinder.com
tgmatchmaker.com
AOL
Yahooo
I have a group in alt.com SFV TV/CD Sluts where I post info about recent opportunities for fun
Monday September 5, 2005 - 12:16am (PDT) Permanent Link | 1 Comment
