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Humbled in His presence Full Post View | List View
Today's gift is the mere fact that I opened my eyes....just because He allowed it...
- The Art of Grace
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Beautiful brilliance concealed
behind years of painful tears
of my watchful waiting eyes
Searching this weary soul
for memories that hide
the shame of years gone bye
Temperamental moments
colliding within the mind
infusing my heart to ache
Enduring the loss of innocence
once lost to blinded eyes
now unfolding in it's wake
Capitulating the songs of sorrow
humbled in His presence I fall
laying prostrate on the ground
Night quickly passes away
at the Voice of Truth and Peace
this soul is no longer bound
Morning rises up once again
by the mighty healing touch
which His Loving hands impart
Consumed in the quiet retreat
of His intimate embrace
as Grace unfolds it's Art
Wednesday September 27, 2006 - 11:54am (EDT) Permanent Link | 3 Comments - Breath of Life
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Breath of Life hold me close
Heal my broken wings
Allow my ears to hear your words
Cause my voice to sing
Fill my heart with your love
Cleanse me deep within
Show me how to serve you
From where I should begin
Teach me all I need to know
Guide me in all things
Shower me with your grace
Forgive me all my sins
amen
Thursday August 3, 2006 - 04:58pm (EDT) Permanent Link | 6 Comments - Obstacles
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The one thing I can always count on are obstacles. It seem the more I do to further my progress and get closer to my higher power the more obstacles I have to face. Not to say there weren't obstacles before, there were, but they were of a different nature many times and usually got put in a drawer ( relapse mode) since I wasnt prepared to tackle them , I avoided them all together and everntually relapse would surely find its way to my door disguised in many ways . (this would explain my revolving door in and out of the rooms for 12 yrs) Kind of like when you make more money, the more money we spend and the bigger the bills get. The more spiritually conected we become the more we face trials of all kinds. ( or so it seems)
Note: yes I do believe in spiritual attacks... for deep discussion.. another blog maybe remember I am a Christian who believes the bible 100%, please dont take offense if you do not)
Finiancial hardships, relationship problems ( family , friends and romantic relationships) and the overbearing obstacle of health problems supercede anything positive we need in order to obtain some balance and find solutions. All of our energies can be drained if we do not have the guidance of a loving and carinig God who has brought us this far These trials can do two things for us. They can cause us to learn and grow or they can cause us to buckle under the pressure and react in a negative way, leaving us lost to the connection with our higher power we so badly needed in our darkest hours, but could not grasp until we surrendered to it completely. After a while, we can become complacent and or disconnected from that source of peace if we allow ourselves to. Meaning when we do not trust and believe " this too shall pass" We can lose all that we have gained spiritually, physically, mentally and emotioanlly Yes, we can become used to doing things on time and live safe, comfortable lives. But there will surely be obstacles where our faith is tested and losing that faith can leave one very lonely and very empty. Not peaceful. Not serene. Not fullfilled... Leaving wide open the door for the beast to enter ( the disease, satan, negativity... you choose) causing us to act out on behaviors that are not healthy. Maybe they arent the same as they once were, but damaging to the spirit just the same.
I believe the closer we get to God the more obstacles we come up against. That's just something I have accepted. I do know however that the more I strive to become closer to God the easier it is to get through an obstacle. Yes I am learning how to do things differently, but nowhere near perfect. Unmanageability find its way to my door everyday... But the one thing I have noticed is that I do not get as stressed when I face something. I have learned to surrender to whatever is in store for me. Not perfectly but better than before. I do know that "This too shall pass" and obstacles are just things we have to jump over or walk around, they arent enough to stop progress and they teach us how to trust God more. Afterall that is the point...right?
I can't, He Can & I'm gonna let Him....
Feel, kneel, deal and heal...
When I am facing an obstacle
I will pray
When I get through an obstacle
I will pray
When I have no obstacle
I will pray
When obstacles become opportunities
I will pray
When I am thankful for an opportunity
I will pray
No matter what obstacle comes my way
I will pray
Today I will be prepared
I will pray
I will learn to trust God
I will pray
Just for today....
and tomorrow...
I will do what I did yesterday
I will pray...
Special note: I have never ever relapsed while in prayer ( not talking the foxhole kind mind you) Thanks to God
Wednesday July 12, 2006 - 08:38pm (EDT) Permanent Link | 5 Comments - God's Will
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The one question I hear so often is " What is God's will?"My belief is that Gods will is what happens when we don't force lifes hand... I know when I do what I always did, I will get what I always got....
How do we know we are doing Gods will??
Is it when we feel good or happy?
Or is it when someone tells us we are?
Or is it when we get what we want or think we want?
Well I suppose it could be any of those....
Or could it be a struggle we are facing?
Could pain be part of God's will for us??
Can our obstacles be there for a reason?
I believe all of these can be God's will...
Why is this?Whatever the reasons we do what we do, that fact remains that God is waiting for us to act and react. Thus determining whether we get through an obstacle with a lesson. What I have learned is when I fail to learn a lesson I may have to get shown in a new way and I may not like how it is being shown to me!!!
What makes me think something new or different will happen when I manipulate a situation to suit my needs and desires?
Is it that I am comfortable with the familiar?
Fear of the unknown?
These lessons enable me to change how I do things and how I approach life and it's ups and downs. Yet I cannot be blessed if I dont share what I have learned along the way.
I have learned to sit still ( some of the time ) and listen for Gods will... Just allowing things to take thier course. Doing what is necessary and being done with it.
I believe that we ALL come and go in one anothers lives for a purpose and that the purpose most likley has nothing to do with us but rather in how we influence others lives toward thier purpose in Him....
Once I accept what God has in store for me on any given day the better off I am. I become content as He nudges at my heart strings and Humbles me...
I believe my obstacles are an opportunity for growth and I am becoming who God needs me to be.....Even when I dont undertand it....
My prayer for every day I breath life....
Lord please remove from my life that which is not in your will...
Please allow what is in your will to come into it....
and allow me eyes to see and ears to hear the difference...
amen and amen
Wednesday June 21, 2006 - 02:22am (EDT) Permanent Link | 2 Comments - The Shift
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Every once in a while in life there are a series of circumstances that cause a shift to occur in ones life. The feelings of wanting to embark on ventures and passions not yet realized become paramount. Always something unexpected and never planned. I call these series of of events Aha Moments!! The moments of clarity God gives us to make decisions. At these times life takes a turn, whether a turn for the better or worse depends on how well we pay attention and what we do about whats in front of us.
I have once again come into one of these times and although curious and a bit confused I welcome it. It is said that obstacles are opportunity for growth. I know I am ready to move on to where God needs me. My service is needed in areas I have been prepared for and I have come to a spiritual level in my life which allows me the wherewithall to do so. I have made a decision that now is the time to embark on a long awaited custody battle for my oldest daughter. Since the last custody trial for my youngest daughter in which I won, I have been seeking to get better aquainted with God and learn to listen to him better. A few weeks back, I had a God moment on the way to the last night of the play/musical we were doing at my church. I was listening to the rehearsal CD and all of the sudden it stopped working. I couldn't get it to work again, and then and there I said "God give me the music" and as clear as a bell the Lord spoke to me and said the music is inside you, now just be quiet and be with me. Well the tears started falling down my face at that point and I continued driving and communing with Him for the rest of the drive to the Church. The show was a huge success and very powerful. I sang like I never have before and we were all of one spirit. It was truly an amazing night, one of which I will never forget. Since that night I have been experiencing this shift and I have also made a decision to drop out of the chior as I cannot continue to dedicate my time to it at the present time. A difficult decision but I know from past experiences what happens when become over extended. I am also looking for a larger place to live for me and my children as well as preparing myself to go back to school. Last and most importantly I have decided it is time to increase my meetings again and get involved in H & I which has been a desire of mine all along. After much time in prayer and meditation and talking with the wonderful people in my life online and off, I know I am moving in the right direction. After all the music is inside me, it can go with me anywhere:)
Thanks for sharing in my world God Bless Kathy
Thursday June 1, 2006 - 10:01pm (EDT) Permanent Link | 3 Comments
