I am sitting here, You know its truly sad that as a mother I had to have a wake up call the way that i did.. But it made me realize alot of things, not only spritualy but in every day life.. i know that this will take time to heal and i will in time.

But be rest assured that i want him to pay, i want this not to happen ever again. my heart is with in the arts and it will always be there, i long to know all there is to know that i can trust and find some one that i can truly understand, i want some one that respects me, as well as will teach me, along the way,

i want to be able to know this person inside and out, with out touch him, if this makes sense, to be able to know that you are accepted and not shuned away, or tossed around like a doll. to know that it okey to be some what confused about what i am getting into, and that i will make mistakes,.

to be scolded but not abused. my heart is shattarted i just dont know. what to do i know that this person is out there. and i shall hold my head as high as i can, hopeing that one day i will find him. as a true, Dom, will honor you, and teach you as well as delevlope a bond with you, and teach you over time, ..

I feel so lost and alone, dont know where to turn, i wish i new my way. i am tired of being hurt as i put my heart on the line and it get shattarted, I know I am nieive, and i should learn. but i am learning. i hope that in time i will be able to have my confidence back. I think that there are beatiful souls ( my firends) and i am so thank ful for all of you... smiles kiss.. ** wink**

I often wonder why it sems to pour all at once insteard of in spurts, the only thing i could come up with is its to teach us to become stronger and to have faith in your higher, belifes, I know this past week i really wanted to pull my hair out, as i just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel to know that i can breath and not have to worry,

so i take my deep breath, and breath, and leave in in the hands of the higher sprits i love you and know that you know whats best for me, pls help guide me, and protect me, I love you my firends with all my heart. pls let me find the one that i am searching for in time. as i am lost with in soul.

thank you my friend for listing to my ramblings,

darkangel,

What a beatiful day, hello everyone,

I want to appolze and say that i promise to try and write every other day, and i hope that angels are with everyone, and that the sprits guide you along your destiny of life...

happy yule to every one, and may the holidays be a time to bring every one closer togher, to laugh share and grow and prosper,

I feel like things are changing in my life for the better and i truly love my family as my friends, i hope every one has a blessed day and know that angels are always by you. when you least expect it they will be there to embrace you. and wipe your tears. and ease your fears aways..

sorry that i havent  been here all the time,  I had a hard couple weeks, i  am back  but I am getting , ready to move to be with the one that I love, alawys and forever, For i will be in his arms now and always,