Kids, the time has come. Click here. Leave some comments while you're there. Update the URL in your blogrolls and favorites.

I've decided that blog comments are an interesting monster. Right away I'll discount the ones where someone tosses their manners out the window so they can spew all manners of toxic verbiage without the fear that comes with face to face confrontation. Thankfully I've never had to deal with this, but it's actually pretty easy...virtual fisticuffs! Um, no, wait. What I meant to say is that such comments are easily remedied using the delete key.

Which leaves, in my mind anyway, three basic categories of blog comment:

• Comments which reflect varied amounts of thought and pondering on the readers' part. These comments can range from "I know what you mean!" to "No, I disagree entirely," and all manner of twisting and turning in between. Some folks greatly enjoy debate and spend otherwise-valuable work time constructing fantastic and convincing points of view, while others pop in a quick sentence and call it good. The reader is usually relating how the post has affected him/her personally. Or not.
• Comments which critique and/or quantify the post itself. While not objective, these comments are much more analytical than those above. Rather than focusing so much on the content the reader might say "This was a great post," without necessarily expounding upon their proclamations. Hardcore anal-retentive types might comment on grammar or syntax, which may or may not be what the blogger is looking for. But they do it anyway.
• Comments involving the rest of us who, more often than not, are taking the opportunity to be a (benevolent) wise-a$$. Life is funny; let's make snide remarks together!

The ones that make me chuckle the most, however, are the ones where the reader says something like, "Why do you just talk about yourself all the time." I have seen this happen, but thankfully no one has ever used it on me. If they did I'd be, like, "It's a blog. That's more or less the purpose of the whole thing. I get to talk about whatever I want to, especially myself."

Out in the real world, I really do make an effort to remember that life is not all about me. It's good to share, and get along, and get over myself...helps me to be a productive citizen and all that.

Inside my blog though...is one of the few places where it is completely OK to hog the spotlight, upstage whomever I can, and make everything all about me. Which of course brings me to tonight's topic...

...ME!

So I’ve been “tagged” and it goes something like this:

1. Post these rules before you give the facts.
2. List eight (8) facts about yourself.
3. At the end of your post, choose (tag) someone and list their name (linking to their page.)
4. Leave them a comment on their blog letting them know they’ve been tagged!”

I did something like this a while back, but this time I was actually tagged by a real person. Well, he tagged me virtually; he didn't physically walk up and tag me. But I'm almost certain he really exists in a land far, far away.

Here are my 8 things--

1. I can fit my entire fist in my mouth. Small children everywhere are amazed at my skills.
2. I can vibrate my eyeballs. Most people don't even know what this means, those who do can probably do it too. Basically if you look into my eyes, and I activate whatever the nerve or muscle is that does it, you will see my eyes wiggle rapidly from side to side. I tried it just now and couldn't do it, but I'm pretty sure fatigue suppresses the eyeball-vibration musculature, so tomorrow I should be good as new.
3. The second toe on each of my feet is longer than the rest.
4. (stop fussing. If I don't save it here I'll never get it posted at all.)

REVISED: 18 Sept, 2007--OK, now I am more rested and can think of things about myself that are not related to the human body and its functions.

1. (above)
2. (above)
3. (above)
4. I have set a goal for myself, to run a marathon sometime in my 30's. Right now 10 years seems like a decent amount of time in which to reach my goal; however, I'll probably get to 38 or so and think, "Crap, I'd better get crackin' if I'm gonna do this."
5. My favorite thing about teaching was torturing my students; my favorite thing about engineering is torturing my bosses.
6. Ordinarily I'm anti-stuff; continually streamlining my possessions. However, when I find myself in a gift shop or other sundry-place, a strange fog envelopes me, and my eyes glaze over at all the cheezy--I mean pretty--souvenirs (magnets! postcards! t-shirts!), and I have to tie my hands behind my back to keep from buying the place out.
7. I generally prefer beaches to mountains; however I'm not against beaches and mountains. That would be spectacular, actually.
8. I have to leave now if I'm going to get my 3 miles in today.

Hmmm, who's next?? How about Amber!

I was thinking more about what would happen if I became marooned on an island with Joel Osteen. The problem is not that all we would have to talk about are blessings and prosperity. Quite the opposite, actually. We would probably talk about so much, and come to know each other so well that we would identify with each other quite a bit (that is, if one of us didn't kill the other for food)...and I'd probably think that Joel Osteen is a really neat guy. Kind of like when you go to someone's funeral, and in hearing so many stories about them you realize, "Wow, (s)he led an extraordinary life." And then over time, you realize that everyone leads an extraordinary life, it's just that it's not always apparent until you see the collective stories, woven together to create the broader picture. The tapestry of life, if you will. <gag>

Saying I hesitate to criticize someone too harshly because I might find myself stranded on a desert island with them someday is, admittedly, completely crazy. And besides, the argument breaks down when I consider that if this scenario were to amazingly occur, I would't really be stranded with "Joel Osteen, great speaker." Rather, I'd be stranded with "Joel Osteen, stranded man," whom I really hope knows "How to make fire" and "How to kill and clean wild game." We could debate about positive thinking and expecting God's blessing all day, but when it comes down to it we'd better gather some firewood and try to rig a up shelter or we're likely dead.

But anyway...

See Part I for the prequel to this.

Really though, what got me thinking about all of this was a post iMonk did on Joel Osteen. It is worth reading for no other reason than the blinking graphic of Osteen's newest book cover. I should clarify--the whole graphic doesn't blink; Osteen's eyes blink within the graphic. Creepy.

iMonk's primary motivation with this particular post was to criticize CBD for promoting Osteen's newest book, but the comments and discussion expanded quite a bit from that. If I understand iMonk correctly, his concern is that Osteen is at best a warm-fuzzy motivational speaker and at worst a dangerous heretic, but either way his 'preaching' is not grounded in scripture. From what I've seen of Osteen I tend to think the former. Here is this guy I've never met, and have actually viewed very little, so I can't talk about him with much experience or authority. Although I did go to his website. And his church's website. Lotsa nepotism there. But anyway.

Osteen’s supporters’ comments range from “I go to his church, you don’t even know him” to “I go to his church, you don’t even know him.” At least that was my impression. To be more specific, some said that those who cram into Houston's former Compaq Center weekly experience sermons that are much more diverse and in-depth than what the public sees of the “Your best life” and other equally-positive messages. But then again, others said that no, Osteen’s messages are pretty much variations on the same principle. And finally, the most indignant protesters argued that, in this world of negativity, they go to Osteen for the positive and uplifting messages, and the rest of us need to step back and let them remain positive and uplifted.

Here’s the thing—there’s nothing wrong with positive and uplifting. Obviously there are many, many people who feel helped by Osteen’s messages and I really can’t discount their experience and say, “No you’re wrong.” It’s just that, as a pastor, Osteen's primary purpose (one would think) is telling people about Jesus, and Jesus is about so much more than “positive and uplifting.”

Let me offer up the idea that often it's profound unhappiness that woos us to God. I firmly believe that what God wants for us, way more than our happiness, is a deep and intimate relationship with him. True, most of us go through periods where we get both, but the danger I see with Osteen is that in helping some people to feel better, he is dulling their awareness of their need for Christ.

I could go on, but I’m not saying anything new. My own issues with Osteen are not going to prevent thousands of people from flocking to his fluffy, feel-good broadcasts. When it boils down to it, I don’t follow Osteen because his approach simply doesn’t resonate with me. Nor does Rick Warren’s or John Eldredge’s (even though it used to). Could be a difference in personality, or a matter of where I’m at in life, or the fact that God uses all sorts of people and methods when it comes to speaking to folks.

OH, and don’t even get me started with the guys that come up with one good idea, and then people start asking them their opinions on unrelated issues and following them all over the place like lemmings, pens ready to record their every word.

"Your method for making bubble gum retain its flavor longer has proven fantastically successful! How do you think we should end conflict in the Middle East?"

I’m pretty sure that’s how dictators are made. That’s what it comes down to—the danger really lies in the fact that too many people are content to believe whatever is thrown at them, rather than thinking critically. It’s not even that we need to be super-intellectual or psychically discerning, we just need to take our brains off auto-pilot every now & then and not be afraid to say “That’s a bunch of crap.” Or, if you want to be nicer, “I don’t agree with that,” or “That’s just not my cuppa tea.”

Obviously, since I’m spending so much time on this, it’s a reminder to myself as much as anyone. My weakness is in fearing conflict. I just want to get along and feel liked, so it’s hard to say anything contrary to folks. A small (very small) part of me is afraid I might end up deserted on an island with Joel Osteen someday, and what else would we have to do besides debate about blessings, and prosperity, and the victorious Christian life? Equally dangerous as blindly following is arbitrarily dismissing (like that one guy on that one website), so the challenge really is for us to decide why we think what we do, and to carefully consider who we allow to influence us. That’s all I’m saying…