I looked up the defination of friend in the dictionary and it stated:

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1.	a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

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2.	a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.

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3.	a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

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4.

Then I looked up the word acquaintance:

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1.	a person known to one, but usually not a close friend.

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2.	the state of being acquainted.

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3.	personal knowledge as a result of study, experience,

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4.	(used with a plural verb) the persons with whom one is acquainted.

I have not had the best of days lately and when I wanted to vent I realized that I don't have any friends (pathetic), I only have acquaintances. I am someone who is shy and quiet in nature so I don't usually say much and talking to others can prove to be difficult. Not to mention I don't always let my guard down for others to get to know me. Today I realized that this is a problem and may be the reason I have no friends. I thought I had one but she won't return emails, calls, IM's which is dissapointing to no end. Did I piss her off? Is she so swamped she can't find the time to say hello?? Hell if I know because I can't get ahold of her! I'm going to go to bed, maybe things will be better in the morning

~~S

So after some soul searching and major debating I have decided that I am not going to nursing school. I have decided to finish my AA degree at OTC and go to MSU to get my bachelors in teaching, specifically special education. This is something I hold close to my heart since my son has autism. OTC has yet to give me an answer regarding my grades and their nursing program which is really sad because I know that I am not the only person that screwed around when they were young and now want to do something with their life.

So I went back to school this year after a ten year break. I decided that I wanted to be a nurse. I am attending Cox this semster and while the education is great, the tution is not and I can't afford to go next semester. I re-applied to OTC (since I was there last semester) with the intention of applying for their LPN program. I went to OTC ten years ago and I didn't do well because I was 18 years old, just out of high school and on my own and quite honestly I didn't give a shit about school. Needless to say my grades were terrible. Fast forward to the present and I am ready to go back, I have the ambition and now the grades. OTC basically told me that I didn't have a shot in hell getting into their program because of my grades ten years ago. TEN YEARS AGO!!!! I had to explain to the dean of applied health why my grades were bad and he basically told me that they didn't have a forgivness policy, although they have talked about it and that while he didn't want to discourage me from applying, he didn't want to give me false hope either. He also explained that its really hard to get into their program, they have 150 people apply and only 30 get accepted. This comes after I watched a news segment stating that this country is in dire need of nurses.

Now I dont know what to do. I am registered at OTC, I have a full class load for fall but if I can't get into the program I feel like whats the point?? I have thought about applying to MSU. I even thought about becoming a medical assistant and going to Bryan College or Everest College (although Im not sure how I feel about that). Arggg!!! I know that when one door closes, another one opens but I've seem to lost the directions.