Tomorrow is our first wedding anniversary! Hard to believe that a year has whizzed by so fast. We're working hard at building our marriage and are even better friends now. Being married to my best friend and lover is super.

Our only plans for the day, maybe a meal out and definitely watching the French Open men's finals between Federer and Nadal on television. Last year we were in the stadium- a honeymoon surprise for me - sitting close enough to see the players sweat. This year we're going to watch from home and root for Roger!

Of course, I think we'll also find plenty to keep us busy.

Two years ago this month I dove totally into the deep end of the transition pool when I had my breast implants.  You cannot believe the number of TS women who warned me that I was making a big mistake, that it was irresponsible of any plastic surgeon to operate on someone (me) who had only been on HRT for 9 1/2 months and only  full-time since first of June.

The advice from pre and post-ops was to keep using breast forms, wait until after SRS because of the inevitable "growth spurt", and all sorts of other rationalizations why a pre-op transsexual should not have implants (and some included post-ops).  Very little encouragement was forthcoming. 

Truthfully, all the warning had me scared that I might be  making a horrible mistake.  It wasn't like I was going to be hiding them at 440cc and a projected 34C+ or D.  What made all the difference is that I had always felt I should be a female, I was always an effeminate male with a pony-tail, clothes made for women did not look right with my current bee sting bumps, and I had always wanted to be a busty, stacked girl like my two cousins.   

My mom sealed my resolve to proceed with large implants when she sat me down and told me that if insisted on being a female to get implants as big as I could (she knew the surgeon had said my limit was in the C-D cup range).  So that is what I asked him to order.  I was going to have a large rack -- at last!

The morning of the surgery I was excited and nervous at the same time.  HRT changes you over time, BA changes you instantly and this was my first surgery.  Weird, but exciting, to think that in a couple hours I was going to have breasts, and they would be large breasts. 

Lights out, then you wake up with the weight of the world on top of your chest.  Not pain, just incredible tightness.  The pain comes after a few hours and hurts like the dickens (no pun intended) until about day four.  Looking down, I clearly had mountains where there had been plains.  Almost an embarrassing size (at first). 

Within four days the twins felt pretty good.  The industrial strength bra required to support them was incredibly ugly but I loved the cleavage and knew I had made the right choice.

Like any girl with large breasts, they attract attention.  This was a first time for me, I finally felt normal, just like other girls I had something to show  on top that was all mine.  No one doubted from that point on that I was a girl.  Many assumed I'd already had SRS.  Clothes fit so much better, I also had to replace much of my wardrobe because nothing fit the new me.    Love those tight, scoop neck stretch tops (and guys do too when you bend over).  Woo Hoo!

I made the right choice for me and would encourage any girl serious about the transition and SRS to have them done sooner than later and GO BIG!  I  absolutely love my boobs! They really help change your perspective and also how you feel about yourself. 

I think all my friends who have had implants agree with me....we love them!

Sometimes you see someone you knew back when.  For me that's one of the most awkward moments and decisions, especially when you are sure they have seen you.  It's even more difficult  when there is one or more other  people with them.  What should you do and what do you say? 

Questions race through my head.  Do they know about me? Do they recognize me?  If they don't recognize me, am I taking too big of a risk talking to them?  What do/will they think? Will they be cool or cause a scene if I approach them? 

Handling acquaintances from the past has puzzled me from the beginning of my transition.   Some have known and others not.  The reactions are all over the place.  So I tend to freeze and look for a way out.  Most of the time I avoid them and wonder if I did the right thing. 

Building a new life is a challenge when parts of you old one can appear out of no where at any time.   There are times I wish I had moved far away and started over where no one knew me.  I can see the practical aspects of why some girls do that and are perfectly happy.        

From the beginning of this summer, I've been working on my general fitness.  Several years of distractions and the last two with various surgeries caused me to change my fitness routines.  Plus, my weight loss of 30+ pounds hid from me some of the realities of all of the changes that were taking place with my body.

After nearly a summer of working to get in shape, I can see that my strength to weight ratio has probably slipped permenantly. Not exactly unexpected, but when you realize you aren't an exception to the rule...HRT makes fundamental changes in how your body functions.

Riding my bike I knew I wasn't able to keep up like I had before.  The guys are simply too powerful, they kill me on hills.  I thought it was only a matter of not being in shape, that would be different once I got in shape.  Well, I think my endurance is equal or better than before, but there is definitely truth to the term "weaker sex."  Some of the women ride with guys and seem to do fine.  Me, I have to ride with the girls.  No residual T in me.  I don't think any TS girl in the Olympics probably won't have any advantage from their boy years.

Weights are a joke.  I simply have to use much less than before.  Even if I wanted to build muscle bulk and strength, I don't think I could.  I'm surprised at how much of a change there is for this girl.  So weights just help me tone up, particularly the backs of my arms, butt and thighs.

Don't even ask about running...I hike instead.  Maybe someday I'll start running again, I've always loved the freedom of movement and how good for my mind a nice run can be...the main problem is even the best sports bra I've found doesn't keep the twins happy.  So for me there is truth that being busty affects (make that rules out) running.

Tennis? Well for me it tends to be more social than workout.  I like the outfits and the atmosphere, but I need to get much better at  it before I enjoy it as a workout. Someday...maybe.

There are lots of rewards from changing sex, it just that how you keep in shape and what being in shape means as a woman changes too.