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- Listen To Your Children, Especially At Christmas
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Imagine a special little girl waking on Christmas morning. She rushes to the tree hoping to find a pretty doll or beautiful new dress.
"A train set? Must be for my brother," she says to herself.
She looks around. No doll. "Well, maybe it's wrapped up."
All the packages are wrapped in a generic paper or boy's paper. She sees nothing that look girly.
She pulls out all the packages that have that name that doesn't really suit her very well. Opening the first, she finds, "A flannel shirt? Yuck!" The next has socks, then boy's pajamas.
Absolutely nothing that says, "We know you feel like a girl." Everything says, "You were born with that thing, so you have to be a boy."
And this happens every year. Even after she tells her parents how she envied that boy who wore a dress to school because he got all his clothes dirty. Even after they caught her wearing her mother's old nightgown to bed. Even after they found some of her mother's clothes under her pillow because she didn't have a chance to sneak them back. And they certainly never noticed her tears on Christmas morning.
How can she ever enjoy Christmas?
Parents, listen to your children; pay attention to what they don't say, but show. It may only be a phase, but it is important to them. And if it's not just a phase, it's even more important.
Thursday December 7, 2006 - 09:46pm (EST) Permanent Link | 1 Comment - Entry for July 03, 2006
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I took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Seeks luxury, sensuous comfort, and the indulgence..."
Click here to read the rest of the results.
This was cute and probably very accurate.
Monday July 3, 2006 - 07:08pm (EDT) Permanent Link | 1 Comment - Choosing Sides
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Choosing Sides
So many of us describe ourselves as having a masculine side and a feminine side to our personalities. Some go even further and talk about the side we are not currently showing in the third person (i.e. he or she is …).
I believe this is a dangerous practice. To me this indicates less than a full acceptance of ourselves as a whole human being.
Several years ago I started consciously allowing my “feminine side” to be openly expressed when I was “en homme.” As I got better at doing this I found myself becoming happier, less frequently depressed, and more open with those I card about. That’s all good.
We must learn to love and accept all of ourselves. Trying to compartmentalize our personality is a recipe for depression and disaster.
My God accepts me the way I am – as a matter of fact, as I wrote elsewhere, I believe He chose this burden for me to somehow further His kingdom on Earth.
If He can accept – and love – me this way, then I surely should be able to do the same.
It serves me little good to worry about what others may think of me. The only thing that matters is what I think of me. I choose to be me and to love all of me just the way I am.
We can’t afford to choose “sides.” We must be ourselves, whatever that may be and however we have to express ourselves.
Saturday May 6, 2006 - 01:40pm (EDT) Permanent Link | 0 Comments - Activist for Crossdressers
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Activist for Crossdressers
In a recent email I said that I don't call myself an activist. In my haste to answer, I made the same mistake too many of us make: being an “activist” is not the same as being a “militant.”
According to the dictionary, activism means “a doctrine or practice that emphasizes direct vigorous action especially in support of or opposition to one side of a controversial issue.”
I don’t know if one would consider me to be “vigorous,” but I have been known to "preach" about intolerance to us. So I guess I am an activist. I am not, however, a militant – a term which has a bit of a derogatory implication.
The only way we can achieve acceptance is through 1) numbers (and being open), 2) teaching others that we are not monsters out to enlist others or corrupt young children.
When I say “being open,” I don’t necessarily mean that any individual has to come out of the closet. Joining support groups, such as Tri-Ess, allows those groups to operate as a voice on our behalf, assuming you make your views known within the group.
This is the “numbers” part: the group can then say, “We represent 100 people” when dealing with lawmakers or media. When we do that, we are much more likely to be able to go to our lawmakers and get somewhere with protection from those who thrive on bigotry.
I would never encourage anyone to do what I’m doing. I will help others who I believe need that assistance, but I will not ever try to “turn” someone. Frankly, the effort is so great that most people would never complete the process unless they were really confident it was right for them.
The only convincing I want to do is to help the uneducated understand that we transgendered are not the “spawn of the devil” nor horrible monsters out to change everyone. We really are pretty much just like everyone else.
So what can even the closeted TG do? We all occasionally run into something that others don’t understand. For example, jokes about TGs – let others know that you don’t find those jokes amusing. You might even give a bit of information to help them understand us better. Posting on chat boards not only gives you the opportunity to share with others, but helps to refine your own thoughts about yourself.
Another thing to do is to accept each of us. If one enjoys cross-dressing, then he/she is a member of our TG community. To divide ourselves into subcultures can only weaken our community. We need each other.
And we need each other to be activists.
Thursday March 30, 2006 - 10:50am (EST) Permanent Link | 2 Comments - A Christian Transsexual?
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A Christian Transsexual?
Scripture Lesson: John 9:1-12
There are many (including Christians) who say, or believe, that what I'm doing, that is changing sexes, is a sin. They tell me that I should be what God made me.
My response to that is, "I am" (John 1:3). God made me a transsexual for His glory. How it's all supposed to work out, I don't know. But I do believe that, somehow, I am doing His work and furthering His Kingdom on Earth.
Why, you might ask, would He do this to anyone? (Psalm 66:10-12) tells us that we will be afflicted in some way in order to "purify" us (which is a better translation of "testing"). But He also promises us a "place of abundance."
Look at it this way: Do you really appreciate being a man or woman? I doubt you even think about it most of the time. But when someone like me stands in front of you and you can see what it takes to switch, you begin to appreciate being what you are. The man suddenly given his sight surely appreciated his "gift" of sight, which most of us just take for granted.
I've also heard, "You're twisting the Bible to suit your lies." I can't guarantee that I'm not, and I do believe that is being done often, even by those so many listen to. However, I also see that the Lord wants me to speak out (Isaiah 42, esp. 6-7) to help others.
Why he chose this particular burden for me, I don't know. It's really not my concern either. It is my task to use it in a way that glorifies Him on Earth. I resisted accepting this burden (Luke 22:42-43) for most of my life. But He sent me someone (an angel) for 20 years who helped me not only find the Lord, but to mature to the point where I could help others to understand His plan.
There are many cultures on this Earth that have traditionally not only embraced transsexuals, but even revered them. These cultures believe in a Supreme Being, that is God by another name, who is both male and female. For them a transsexual is more like that Supreme Being than most of the people.
God made my soul - and it is in His image. That image is both male and female. My parents made my body - that's God's plan (Genesis 2:15).
We have all often heard the missive, "There's masculine and feminine [sides] in all of us." Scientific research (e.g. Man, Woman, Boy, Girl, Dr. John Money, et al) bears this out.
During a human's development, both before and after birth, there are numerous points where "switches" have to be thrown. If the switch doesn't get triggered, the result is feminine; if it does, the result is masculine. So the "perfect" man would have all of the switches done and the "perfect" woman would have none of them thrown. As you might guess, this, essentially, is never the case.
Additional research has discovered that there may be a genetic predisposition to sexual "abnormalities," including transsexualism. This doesn't mean that all of us with this inclination will pursue gender reassignment; it takes other influences, especially early in our childhood. And, no, I am not blaming anyone for my situation.
Some of us can deal with our burden without pursuing surgical correction; others cannot. While my angel was with me, she balanced out my life so that I did not need to pursue this goal. By the time she died, I had matured enough spiritually and psychologically to understand and accept my place in the world. I now seek my freedom from slavery (I Corinthians 7:21-22) to an ideal that is wrong for me.
"But Deuteronomy 22:5 says crossdressing is wrong." Yes, it is wrong if it is done for fraudulent purposes (such as sneaking into a harem for "hanky-panky"). But keep in mind that gender is not between the legs - it is between the ears. For me, wearing men's clothes is wrong because, in my heart (mind), I am a woman. Yet too many people want me to commit a "sin" by doing just that.
"Oh, well, you're just twisting things around to enlist others in your perversion." No, I would never encourage anyone to do what I'm doing. I will help others who I believe need that assistance (I Corinthians 1:3-4), but I will not ever try to "turn" someone. Frankly, the effort is so great that most people would never complete the process unless they were really convinced it was right for them.
The only "convincing" I want to do is to help the uneducated understand that we transsexuals are not the "spawn of the devil" nor horrible monsters out to change everyone. We really are pretty much just like everyone else. Many of us are, or would be, Christians if others wouldn't push us away. (II Corinthinas 2:7)
Thursday March 30, 2006 - 10:48am (EST) Permanent Link | 0 Comments
