I heard the words aneurysm and leaking heart valve, but I don't remember having much of a reaction. My doctor told me I would need to go visit with a cardiologist and then a heart surgeon. I thought he was wrong. I felt to good. Even now, months later I'm still not sure any of them knew what they were talking about. Even now, I'm still in denial. But, I'm doing what the doctors tell me to. I'm eating the things I need to be eating and I'm taking my magic pills every morning and night so my blood is the right thickness to go through my mechanical heart valve and my blood pressure is just right. I'm doing these things to make sure I live the normal kind of life everyone wants to live and that way I wont need to have my chest cut open again.

There are no magic pills for cancer. Only treatments and hope. Sometimes that's not enough. I wrote about Michelle in a yahoo blog almost a year ago. A victim of breast cancer Michelle was struck by this God awful disease twice and twice she fought it off. The third time it struck with a vengeance and she lost the battle. She was only 41. When she was 19 she lost her mother to cancer at the age of 39.

Countless surgeries, 36 straight hours of radiation, 6 hour chemo treatments, cancer caused fractures of the arm and shoulder and constant pain are just a part of what Michelle's life became. And yet her blogs were cheerful right up until her page fell silent. You could see the pain in her words but you could feel the hope that she somehow managed to have despite insurmountable odds stacked against her.

After the doctors told me I needed open heart surgery I came home and told my family. They all cried but they knew it was for the best. How in the world does a young mother say goodbye to three young children for the final time? How does a mother tell those children that she wont be there to help them with their school work? How does a mother tell her children that she wont be able to be there when they have their children? How does a young wife tell her husband that his dreams of growing old with her will have to remain just that, dreams?

Even though my surgery was life saving I went through a time of depression afterward. I wasn't able to do anything and there were times I didn't want to even get out of bed. I cant begin to fathom being told I have cancer and there is nothing left for me to do but die. Michelle never lacked for hope and dreams. She knew her odds were long but she fought all the way. Michelle passed away July 13th.

Rest in peace Michelle. Your pain is with others now.Feel Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!