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I'm a Southern girl-geek with a wonderful family including four pets.I share what I like/love and my thoughts.

Moved in...: Finally...it took about 8 months from looking for a house to actually getting moved in. Unfortunately, a lot of little things did not get finished before we had to move in. Our bedroom is currently sheet rock with blobs of sheet rock mud everywhere (picture gray walls and ceiling with big white splotches everywhere). However, it is insulated (it was not before), has a pretty new floor, doors, and window. It will be very nice once it is sanded, primed, and painted (the paint currently sits on a shelf in the corner of the room, mocking me...).

A few other rooms need trim, baseboards, and touch up paint...I still haven't bought window coverings...the dishwasher is not hooked up yet (OH! How I miss it...) and there IS a garbage disposal sitting UNDER the sink, not yet installed. My kitchen is far from finished but we can manage.

I have TONS of stuff sitting in storage...I'm no where near wanting to unpack books, pictures, dishes...I just need a break to live like a kind of, sort of, "normal" person for a while...lol. Fortunately, the paint colors I chose are so lively and pleasing I don't miss wall hangings at all! My favorite time of year is Fall when the world here in Tennessee bursts with color. My paint colors reflect these Fall colors and make me very happy.

My living room window looks out on our front yard which has a beautiful and very old oak tree and across the road there is an open field with a tree line in the distance. The sun sets over there and it is stunning...

I'm still trying to get used to sealed hardwood...it requires a different way of cleaning than I am used to...when clean and buffed they shine like mirrors...

All and all it is quiet here. The traffic is a bit heavy on the weekends and there is a (band, group, tribe??) bunch of chickens who run wild through the neighborhood. The chickens begin (chirping, crowing, cackling??) making noise as early as 3 and 4 a.m. It will take some getting used to I guess...BUT I have considered calling animal controll...My husband is threatening to buy a B.B. gun...lol.

I hope everyone is well. I am hoping to spend a little more time visiting blogs now that I can actually (kind of) think straight...lol.

::hugs & kisses:: to everyone!

Monday October 13, 2008 - 01:33pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 1 Comment
Update On Our House: Our second house payment is coming around and we still haven't moved into our house. Do you wonder why it is taking so long? It all comes down to hands and time. We can only (and barely) afford materials so hiring extra hands is just not an option. Chris and I have been doing what we can. Two days last week Lucas stayed with Chris's sister, Andrea, for a few hours so that we could go work. It is just not a safe place for him to be yet. There are boards with nails sticking out, insulation, paint, paint thinner, power tools, etc. etc. and the fence is not all the way up in the back yard yet. My step-dad, Jack (as in 'Jack of all trades'), has done the brunt of the work basically because he's the only one who knows how to do certain things like electrical, plumbing, sheetrock repair, etc. He's the supervisor. :) My daughter, Christah, and her boyfriend, Stephen, have been helping out when they can. Even the next door neighbor has helped out some by sanding walls and mowing (for a bit of cash of course).

Now, as far as progress, it is coming along very nicely. They just started putting the kitchen and dining linoleum down yesterday. All rooms are painted except for the bathroom and the addition on the back of the house which will be our bedroom. That room had to be insulated and doesn't have walls or ceilings (sheetrock) yet (that will be last on the list). Things left to do include that, replacing 3 more windows, staining floors in four rooms, putting up the rest of the baseboards and trim, putting kitchen cabinet doors back on (we painted all the cabinets), and some good old fashioned clean up (bathroom and kitchen). It basically all comes down to final touches.

I am very pleased with my paint colors. It will be a very warm and cheerful place to live in. Once we get a little further along, I'll post some pics. My current background has colors pretty close to the paints I chose. Living room is a brown/rust color, Lucas room and guest room are bright blue, my office is the pale blue/grey, the greenish color is kitchen and dining (it's hard to get that color to look right on the monitor but it really is a shade of green!), and our bedroom will be similar (maybe a shade darker) to the paler shade of blue gray.

There is a detached garage which we will use for storage. The other (former) attached garage will eventually become a master bedroom with a full bath and laundry room. That will not be done before we move in. It will be an on-going project over time and as we have the money.

Maybe a couple of more weeks? Hard to say but I'll keep you posted!

Friday August 29, 2008 - 12:26pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 3 Comments
Stress!: Yeah, stress is a killer. If you smoke, are over-weight, have high cholesterol, and high blood pressure, stress can kill you. I smoke, am over-weight, cholesterol is border-line high, and, thankfully, (so far) blood pressure is okay. So I have 3 out of four risk factors. I will be forty years old this December. My mother has a history of blood clots (almost killed her once). One of the recommendations of doctors is to reduce the stress in your life to reduce the chances of having a heart attack or stroke.

Here is my life right now: my husband is a life-long diabetic age forty and works a high stress job. My son is also diabetic at the age of five (soon to be six). This is a difficult age. Diabetes is bad enough…the glucose checks all day long, counting his carbohydrates in order to give him the correct dosages of insulin, and worrying about him getting sick (if a diabetic gets sick, especially a child and especially if vomiting is involved, they could easily die). Factor in his age…willful, stubborn, restless…always testing his boundaries. I’m trying my best to teach him the things he needs to know about life and about his diabetes care. It is an endless process… I also have a twenty year old daughter who doesn’t live with me but I worry about a lot. She’s had numerous car accidents…she bounces from place to place and job to job like a rubber ball…her choice of man is not the greatest either. Then there is my mother who, a few years back began to change. She went from a quirky if not eccentric person with a great sense of humor and generous spirit to a strange, paranoid, moody, and, sometimes, dangerous person. I feel like I’ve lost my mother…In addition to all this, I have five animals to care for. I didn’t go out looking for these animals, they found us. I am so attached to them that I cannot bear the idea of giving them away. So, I take care of them. Anyone who has pets knows how much is involved in this…it is a lot.

There are times when I feel like banging my head on a wall. Sometimes I get this pain in this center of my chest, from stress, that scares me. I take an antidepressant, two anti-anxiety meds, and sleep med for insomnia. The insomnia is an every night thing. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep and sometimes I can’t stay asleep. Either way I feel like a zombie almost every day. YET, I somehow manage to do what needs to be done. I pray a lot… I talk to myself a lot.

We bought a house a couple of months ago…there were things wrong we didn’t know about. Those things and remodeling have taken a lot longer than we thought they would. We’re getting close. Maybe 2-3 weeks from moving in. I’m trying to do what needs to be done in addition to preparing to move.

My point: how do I reduce stress?! At this point and time there really is no way. I try to take time for myself when I can but it’s not much…probably not enough. However, I have a fighting spirit which I refuse to let be broken. Me and stress are duking it out. Let’s see who wins…

Tags: stress

Monday August 18, 2008 - 05:18pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 3 Comments
My Mental Illness: My parents have told me I had colic as a baby and was never at peace. At seven years old (as far back as I can remember) I used to hyperventilate, get horrible headaches, and pick at scabs until they bled. It was not unusual for me, even in kindergarten, to visit the nurse at school and have to go home. I can vividly remember laying in bed at night, staring at the ceiling and wondering if I would die in my sleep. I could not go to sleep until I had silently recited a prayer ten times (sometimes twenty times) "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.". Even then I was SURE I would die. Fear was the major feeling in my childhood and, subsequently, I was never really happy...I never felt secure. My parents had their own battles going on and I was basically left to figure out ways to cope with my fear. Rituals like counting or repeating the same words (in my head) developed from all this.

After my parents divorced the feelings I already had surged forward: fear, sadness, confusion, desperation. I got drunk for the first time at the age of nine years old. Being drunk freed me from my fear for the first time in my life. Between the age of nine and seventeen I became addicted to alcohol. I learned to drink and function...no one seemed to know (or care). Is it any surprise, then, I became a functioning alcoholic in adulthood?

I messed up all my relationships...my alcoholism spun out of control. I had blackouts...the blackouts I had were complete lapses in my mind but I continued DOING things...I was so sad, angry, and DESPERATE during this time in my life. Alcohol had turned against me and I was turning against myself more than ever...Those years are a blur to me now. I don't know how I survived but I did.

Now, here I am, free from alcohol for over six years. I still feel fear which I now know is anxiety. I still feel sadness which I now know is depression. I have a myriad of symptoms for which I take prescription medication. The medicine controls my panic disorder and helps with the depression but my mind still finds a way to express itself in physical symptoms: achy muscles, headaches, joint pain, tremors...I also still have repetitive thoughts. I wonder if my childhood ritual is so deeply ingrained that I will never be shed of the repetitive thoughts or if it is just another symptom?

I've also been diagnosed with agoraphobia (fear of the market place). I only go out when I have to and then only to familiar places (if possible). I haven't worked since 2004 after my son was diagnosed with type one diabetes...I was devastated and, in many ways, I still am. If you can imagine, some days I have a hard time just getting out of bed...then I MUST take care of my son. His life depends on me. I cry. I want to bang my head on a wall. However, I do what I have to do. That is what I have always done. I'm stubborn and I will be until the day I die.

My hope is to make a difference. If I can keep myself together, cope with my mental illness...maybe I can touch someone's life and show them a better way. One person...that would be enough to make it all worth while.

Sunday August 3, 2008 - 01:16pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Setbacks...sigh.: Yes, indeed, we were supposed to move today. It will, instead, be about 2 more weeks...maybe.

My step dad went into the attic last week to check on some things and discovered someone had cut and taken ALL the electrical wiring to the house! Then he went under the house to check on some things and discovered they had also cut and stolen ALL the plumbing to the house! ACK. So...there is at least one more week until electrical and plumbing are fixed. Then there will be sheet-rock and window repair, two rooms which need linoleum and four rooms with hard woods which need to be stained and sealed (the sanding is done), and kitchen cabinets, baseboards, walls, and ceilings to be painted. AND, of course, cleaning...bleah.

Yes, it is a lot of work. More than was expected. Still...the house is going to be great when it is finished. I have a good feeling about it. I'm ready to get my hands dirty. My linoleum has been purchased. Two cans of paint have been purchased. Other paint colors and stain have been picked out (got my samples). Once the electric and plumbing are done it is mostly cosmetic stuff to be done.

I have 80% of things packed. I never unpacked everything from the last move. I'll be done with that by the end of this week (barring complications).

Cross your fingers...say a prayer...we need it! ::hugs to all::

Tags: scooper

Monday June 30, 2008 - 02:47pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 2 Comments