It seems our lives become possessed by the daily doses of drama, comedy and desire that become so important to us. We get wrapped up in all the minor inconveniences, the simple highs and lows that we indulge into artificial importance. Then, from out of nowhere, something can touch you so deep that you realize that what is truly important, what really makes us who we are is the hearts that we touch and the hearts that touch us.

I sat at my connection to the outside world, going through my daily routine of checking my e-mail, seeing who else was on-line etc., and read, in my e-mail, a post from one of the yahoo groups that I belong to. The post was from a lady I had never met and was posted for her friends in the group. She told of the recent loss of her soulmate. Even in writing I could feel the deep love and the heart breaking sorrow in her words. The words touched my heart so deeply that before I had read even a third of the post I was in tears, feeling the sadness of one of our sisters. I wanted to reach out to her, to hold her and console her. With the tears still running down my cheeks, I posted some words of support and encouragement to this stranger, with the hope that somewhere in them she would find a little bit of understanding and strength but knowing that nothing I wrote could really ease her pain no matter how much I wanted to.

I want all my friends, both on-line and in person, to know how much I cherish the imprint they have left by touching my heart. To my wonderful, caring, beautiful wife, my best friend and guiding light, Thank you for loving me for who I am and for allowing me to share my love with you.

Ladies, and gentlemen, If you have not told your loved ones, soulmate, family and friends just how important they are to your world, take a moment and do so. Even if you are sure they know you can still brighten their day by telling them.

Spread Some Love

Huggss

Tara Lynn

Get over it and move on? I must half agree, as moving forward is where life is meant to be lived. You never really get over anything though, as all experience, good, bad or indifferent, stay with us and combine to make us the people that we are. I am truly ready to put my last entry behind me and move forward. To move any direction but forward will either leave me trapped in time living in the past or caught in a loop unable to experience all that life has to offer.

I have met some nice people on-line and really look forward to carrying these on-line meetings into some true friendships. I want to live, to learn, to experience the joys and share in the sorrows of others in the way that only true friends can. I know that I need to overcome a definite shyness before I can really reach out to others in the manner that I would like. While I realize that sitting quietly in a chat room is not an ideal way to make friends, and unfortunately does appear to attract "trolls", I have never been able to manage a forward personality. It has, however, allowed me to listen to the subjects of choice in the room and see which of the ladies and gentlemen involved in the chat share my opinions on many subjects.

One of the biggest surprises I have had in entering the on-line T community, is that I am not alone in what I refer to as my "Conservative Liberalism". I guess I have always believed that by definition, if you are T that you must be liberal. I was surprised but very pleased to see how many of the ladies on-line have also managed to maintain the love of country, the respect for the flag and the hard line stance on criminals that I have. All personal freedoms are important, whether it is the freedom to dress the way you feel inside or the freedom to own a handgun to protect yourself or your family. I will give up my gun when they pry my pretty painted nails apart and take it.

Huggss Tara

I just spent a few weeks posted on one of the "rate me" sites. I thought it would be fun and I might get a chance to meet some nice people. While it was fun and I did get to meet some nice ladies, I have decided that this type of site also attracts some not so nice people who become obsessed with how high up the ladder they can climb. The kind of people who will do whatever it takes to get that next step and when they can't go any higher will try to knock down any one above them. I watched as I gave favorable votes to some of the ladies that had been sweet to me when I first signed up, only to have one of the ladies that saw them as competition, log in give them a bad vote to knock them back down and log back off again. Now don't get me wrong, the game is what it is, but it is definitely not for me. I guess if I must be honest with myself, and I always must, what bothered me the most was that it made me want to strike back against the handful that were playing so dirty. My philosophy has always been to treat everyone with kindness and ignore the people that will not treat you with kindness in return. This being said, I did not feel good about wanting to retaliate and decided that to maintain the pride that I feel about never having to feel that I have been untrue to myself, I have decided to remove myself from the problem and delete my profile. I would much prefer to meet nice people and make just make friends.

Huggss Tara