- Mboy
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i got lucky.
i got lucky to have found such a great man that loves me unconditionally. that stood around loving me even when he didnt have me. a man that loves me regardless of my age and that im eight years older than him. lucky i found a man that wants to make my dreams reality and wants to be part of my big master plan. i'm so lucky to have found a man that loves me for me and will always love me, i know he he will because he has for 3 years, we've been through so much and so little, i'm just thankful i have him, thankful he wants me.
thank you matty boy. i love you.
- why do boys do that.
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me: i wanna ____
him: no you shouldnt ____
me: why do u have to always kill my dreams hmph!
him: find do _____
me: why do boys do that? why did you put me through that, why'd u make me get my panties in a twist then make me all happy and giddy cause u said i could _____. why didnt u agree from the start?
him: because i thought it was silly but i want you to _______ because it's totally you.
me: <*sigh3
him: hehe
lol i had this conversation with matty tonight and it happens with guys all the time. i hate it. putting me through pain only to pick me up -.- <-evil eyes
- the fear and battle scars
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it was the strangest thing.
i was talking to matty on the phone after watching gone with the wind that had inspired me to tell him i love him and hope that he knows i mean it more than words, and in our i love you i wanted to say i want to make you happy for as long as i live, i want to love you for forever, but i couldnt come to say it.
i'm afriad i have a battle scar to carry with me, the fear of saying what i feel because it can easily shatter, because no matter what i say i cant control the future.
here i sit crying. i didnt tell him how i really feel. im afriad that soon everyone i love will leave me.
what has become of me.
- old me
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omg i have grey hairs! 3 grey hairs at the age of the 28! wtf.... i blame you and all the stress you've cause me! ur to blame for my 3 white hairs!!!
lol im growing old!
- finally TRAVIS!, and good&bad dreams
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the last past two days i've dreamt of one of each good and bad dreams in a single dream.
today i dreamt:
i finally saw travis and he was married. i meet his wife and his daughter coco he said he named after me, saying i told him to name her that. i saw his wedding album and we talked, i loved that his wife wasnt jelous at all she knew we were good friends, i even hit him on the bum once. 2nd dream was that i was walking on the street and this lady vendor that i know was like hey do you smell that theres a fire or theres going to be one and sure enough after that was said the building next to us had burst into flames, i was with my cousin at the time and she and i ran the hose from a home to help put out the fire as much a s we can. after taht was done i dreamt i was working in a hardware store where costumers kept asking for help.
yesterday i dreamt:
1st dream was that i meet co, he had these friendship braclets that didnt look anything like friendship braclets and i wanted one, trey had one as well, we held hands, and then i dont know how we got to sleep but when i woke up it was left to right trey, co, me and someoen in the shower so i ask co whos in the shower he says karens bf and then i say so whos behind me (i was laying on my side) he said karen. lol i was like u've got to be kidding me. well later that say karen and him announced that they were getting married that day, i dressed up and stood outside with everone else about to go in but i didnt go in, i waked away to my car where there were doves on the car in a cage i had forgotten about the wedding doves but one was out, the cage was open and the dove was up in the treee. i said please get in the cage please and sure enough it came down where i ddint want to touch it and then noticed it was a rooster thats leg just feel off and then it walked away. i left the cage there and took off. 2nd dream was co had come to california and russell came as well they were living with me, we all went to the same school, co and i were very much in love and russsell and i talked about how all they guys were gaking at his package on campus,we sat on the couch watching a film they made while russell dozed off.
sunday i think i dreamt of:
1st dream was i was working a graveyard shift at the theatre and this coworker went mad and started crying and screaming making it echo on all floors it was also very time and dark and i hated it. 2nd was co and i were trying to be friends and it just got worse to the point we hated eachother. the 3rd was while i was sleeping my room was being haunted drawers opening and closing lights flickering and busting and i didnt full awake untill a loud thump my door had be knocked down! i got up and put it up knocking my brothers over the head with it, saying u wont steal my stuff this time, while my mum stood there watching.
so you see its good and bad and some just bad. i dont know what to make out of it.
also yesterday i got the tickets to go see matty, im goign to be there for a week. :}
also friends are there for eachother but co.. he wasnt there last night. good job.