So our bar is scheduled to open in 6 days and there is even an outside chance it will happen on time. I for one would not be heartbroken if we open a little late and there has been such an idea floated around to that effect (who starts these rumours??? hehe). So it has been quite the distance between my last post and this one but seeing how there are like only 2 of you who actually know this site exists and one of the 2 lives with me I guess it has gone pretty much unnoticed... I will try to be better with my updates in the coming months...

So time is running down and I'm starting to feel the weight of this decision. I know it is the right decision and we are confident that all will turn out as we hope but it is still going to be sooooo hard. There is nothing that I can say that hasn't already been said about how little we realize about our capacity to love so quickly until we have a child, but these few short months with Abby and Erin have taught me so much about myself and the person - the man - that I want to be for my girls that I can hardly believe it. Each day brings new and wonderful revelations from Abby - she is an almost blank canvas getting filled so quickly and with so many different brushes that I can barely keep up. I rush to her when she wakes and I hurry home after work to see her. The time in between is spent wondering what she is doing - if her hair looks longer today - if she is making new noises - how much she ate - what new foods she is trying with Mom - if she had good naps - and any other minutia that wouldn't matter if she were anyone else. The thing is she isn't anyone else. She is me. She is Erin. We both always look at her and say to one another, "I made that" with a smile on our faces. I know the science but the reality - the wonder of it all never ceases to amoaze and delight me. Most people say she looks quite a bit like me - and well she may but I don't see it. Of course I don't see Erin either but I'm sure we're in there somewhere. Every day is so significant now because every day I spend wanting nothing but happiness and joy for her. I long to see her smile when we are apart and I ache when she cries when we are together - even when I know it is nothing and she is fine my heart hurts and jumps with her cries. In eight short months I no longer remember what it was like before her - nor do I want to. All at once she is our everything and there is nothing I would not give so that she could have. I'm not quite sure what the exact point of this post was but as with most things these days it is now about my girl Abby... not too many better topics if you ask me. Hope this finds y'all happy and well.

M

This picture was taken on our way home from Calgary. We stopped to let Abby play for a bit. The weather was cold and she was sick so we stayed in the car and let her drive for awhile.