I’m upset because my cat, Pinki lost one of her kittens this morning and I think another one will die too. Pinki gave birth to four frisky kittens with different colors. I named them Uling (dialect for charcoal because it was all black), Busag ( which means white, the only pure white kitten like the mother) who is very weak now, Grae because of its striped gray color with both eyes blind I think and Phanta because her face with two different shades of color seem to me like the Phantom at the Opera who has only one good eye now

It makes me so sad to watch and hear Pinki’s meows as she prowls around the house looking for one of her kitten. She sniffs under my bed, wants to go inside the guest room where we used to place the maternity box under the bed. I never thought I’d be a cat person because I didn’t like to have cats in the house before because of the stench of their waste and urine. But, after Misay (our first adopted cat) died, we have three stray cats (2 female and one tomcat) who we feed regularly and one indoor cat, Pinki a white cat with pink ears, pink lips and pink paws. She’s a haughty beauty and we were so disappointed with her choice of lovers and the resulting kittens.

While Pinki was nursing her kittens, she got sick with cough and colds and was sneezing badly and the tiny tots got infected too. I didn’t notice until the other day, that their eyes were stuck close. This morning, right after my mother buried Uling, I cleaned the eyes of the other kittens and was depressed that maybe they will be blind or they will die too because they are breathing badly. I regret that I didn’t check on their conditions earlier. It just makes my heart heavy for Pinki who is such a loving and devoted mother cat that she might lose all her babies one after the other. I just looked inside the box and Busag is dead too!!! Oh, how distressing! another cat to bury tomorrow. I don’t like the feeling of losing a pet. My mother told me when our first cat died that I shouldn’t get attached to animals or persons because I lose anyone or anything I would love. I took offense at her words but deep inside I was bothered, is it why I don’t have someone to love now?

“You are the salt of the earth….” Hmmmm… how is that? I didn’t understand this phrase until I read in my devotional (Experiencing God Day-By-Day, Henry T. Blackaby & Richard Blackaby) today that God designed and commissioned us to enhance our community and to preserve what is good and right. Salt have these properties. It enhances flavor and is used as a preservative for several food items which makes it delicious and appetizing even more.

Salt is effective if it is salty but when it is not, what further use can it do? So, it is best to throw it away to be trampled on by men. Now, if we are to be the salt of the earth, how will we know that we have retained our saltiness?

These questions will test our saltiness:
In our family, are we preserving them from the destructive influences that surround us today?

In our work, are the sinful influences in our work environment being halted because we are there?

In our community, is it a better place because we are involved in it?

In our church, we can say we are being used by God as a preserving agent when people are becoming spiritually better around us.

I don’t have satisfactory answers to all the questions because sometimes I just want to be bland, unnoticed, detached, etc. but I know that’s not how life should be lived. I just shy away from responsibility and commitment sometimes.

To become a really good salt of the earth, one should be consistent in its role every time, all the time. I pray that I will step up on my saltiness in my family, work, community and in my church always. And I pray the same for you so we won’t be thrown away and be trampled on by our fellowmen.

“What do you want me to do for you,” Jesus asked the blind man of Jericho. “Lord, that I may see,” he said. “Receive your sight, your faith has saved you,” Jesus said.

Just as simple as that and the man ceased to be blind!

What will I ask the Lord now? That I can focus on my work, finish all my projects and be productive again. Will He say, “receive your wish, your faith has saved you?”

I’ve never lacked on faith, it is the only thing that has propped me up on my series of setbacks this year and even the previous years. I just feel so tired and unfocused with my life right now. Like a leaf being blown by the breeze, I just drift along.

Life as we all know it, can not be lived that way. What with monthly bills to pay, groceries and food to buy and all miscellaneous expenses, one really has to work to live unless you have an inexhaustible supply of money from somewhere. Well, I think I have from God’s Providence. He has provided for me through my mother and sister. God Bless them always for their generosity.