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Last updated Mon Sep 22, 2008 Member since July 2006

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Pink thoughts - by Chloe Prince Full Post View | List View

This is about Chloe Prince’s journey of femininity and self discoveries of womanhood.

My Wife, Bob
My Wife, Bob magnify
I often wonder sometimes how I would have reacted if the shoe was on the other foot - that being, that, if one night, my wife would have come to bed, got under the sheets and surprised me wearing Men's Briefs and genitalia to compliment them. Could I be ok with that, if it were me?


Lets take it a step further and add in Male hormones, a boy hair cut, facial hair and she would now like YOU to address her, as "him" - a "man" named Bob.


I have talked with hundreds of M2F cross dressers and transsexuals, and one of the things that I find that most (but not all) have overwhelmingly in common, is that they identify as heterosexual, or Trans-Lesbian. I wonder how any of these people (or anyone, for that matter) would feel if their wife came home and said, “I think I am man”.


If you’re Transgendered, try to imagine for one second that your not. Now imagine your beautiful wife that you fell in love with - and all her femininity that balances your masculinity, is now being offset by her’s. Think about your first company picnic, where you bring your wife and all your co-workers and even your boss is first exposed to your “spouse”, Bob. Could you deal with having to be forced to appear as a homosexual Gay man?


Better question: Could you perform sexually and stay committed emotionally to a man. I’m not talking about TG issues here. I am talking about if you were just an every day, run of the mill American Male, COULD YOU DO IT? Could you stay with a woman that transitioned fully, Post-Op into a Male? That is to say, that we presume she wants to stay with you, and not pursue a female to live or marry after she transitions. How would you feel when your wife, now a male, goes out and starts getting looked at or picked up by women - How would you feel about her/him taking lots of videos and photos and posting them all over the internet with you or your children in them? Can you imagine that? What if she/he spent all his time online talking to God knows who about God knows what.... while you are all alone in your room... would you question your self worth? How would all this effect your dignity?


These are the things we ask of our spouses when we begin to cross the gender divide.


Personally, I will admit, after thinking long and hard on this question, I could not. This is where I find myself to be weak and shallow. At the end of the day, when the truth be told, I fell in love with my wife FIRST because she was a complete babe! I got to know her over the course of time and even fall in love with her – But it was her Red hair and 36C Chest that caused me to run red lights!


I did not begin my marriage thinking I would transition – I accepted that both of us would get old and grey and I could accept her, no matter what – in sickness and in health; even if that included being overweight, or otherwise. However, it goes with out saying that NO ONE bargains or even fathoms that their spouse will change their gender. So when you think “in sickness and in health”, you never really allow yourself to think that may mean gender variance too.


Maybe its my heightened sense of femininity that makes me shutter that if I was still living as Ted, and my wife Rene wanted to be Bob, how HARD that would be on everyone – Myself included. Of course, living as a Female now, I would be perfectly ok with being married to a man, as that compliments my femininity... {dares to dream} *sigh*


I know this is a double standard – I KNOW I am a hypocrite. Still, it seems to me that being a lesbian in this world is more widely tolerated than being a homosexual male. People can deal with giving into femininity, especially when it’s a woman giving into it – but I have yet to see where anyone “other than Gay men” want to see 2 men kissing. There are no “Guys Gone Wild” videos of young sexy college Co-Ed’s kissing in the shower (At least not to my knowledge). Can you imagine that?... A woman going around with a camera to construction sites and sunny beaches asking men to lift up their shirts - or for that matter, TAKE A SHOWER? lol


My wife has admitted to me very candidly, that if our children were not in the scenario, she’d be gone. (yeah, it leaves a horrible feeling in my gut). But can you blame her? I used too… now… I am not so sure.


In the beginning I used to tell myself “I am the same person, what’s the big deal?” Well, it IS a big deal. Weather you’re a man or a woman, when people get married, their masculine or feminine persona is part of the exterior contract that goes with the vows – and it goes with out saying. A woman marries a man because they expect to live a heterosexual life and vice versa.


Of course I thought about these things LONG before I transitioned – but they just didn’t seem to click. That was, until I had a nightmare a few weeks back. In the Nightmare, I was again my Male heterosexual self, Ted. My wife and I were on our way to a meeting – the meeting was in a dim lit basement of someone’s home and everyone there was a man. After socializing for a few minutes, I realized my wife was nowhere to be found among all these men. I searched for what seemed like all night, asking everyone “have you seen my wife?” – They just laughed, looking puzzled… It wasn’t until the end of the night that I finally realized, the guy with the short red hair, was my Wife, Bob…


-Chloe
Tags: spouses, rene, ted, transitioning, f2m
Monday September 22, 2008 - 04:30pm (EDT) Permanent Link | 16 Comments
Enjoy your life – There is Nothing More Precious
Enjoy your life – There is Nothing More Precious magnify
Life: It is short and it is rare. So rare is life that in the vastness of all known space; with all the technology we have - we are still unable to calculate the fathoms of just how rare our chance of life, and this planet, are.

Why wait for tomorrow? Say and do those things you meant to do “someday”, TODAY.

Don’t wait: Call your Mom, and/or your Dad – a brother or a sister, or anyone that means something to you, and tell them, FOR NO REASON: I love you…

…You never know just how much you will be making a difference in someone’s life… and maybe, in your own.

-Chloe

Monday September 8, 2008 - 02:16am (EDT) Permanent Link | 16 Comments
Ready, Set: Strut!
Ready, Set: Strut! magnify
What do you do when you’re feeling so gross? Motivation can take a back seat when your feeling so run down,.

It’s important that we stop and shop a pantyhose sale once and a while… lol It had been so long since I had wore hose – the other day I slipped some on to see if I had a run in them… I did. But it got me thinking, “I need to clean this drawer out”… and sure enough, I started looking at all my clothes and wasting a whole after noon organizing them… which inspired me to think…. "I need to get out and STRUT!!

I have been feeling pretty “homely” lately. Three months of recovery has taken its toll on me. I haven’t “felt” attractive for some time now. I think this is because I have not been able to really get out and go full tilt GLAM like I enjoy doing once and a while… well, that time is nearing.

Looking over my MySpace page photos, I had to ask myself, “Where did all those fun times go”?


Question: What do yo do to make yourself feel better when you do not feel attractive or at your best?


Me? I miss playing with my hair – seems everything has gotten so damn serious lately… I just want to paint my nails… you can have the drama world…


…and, any one that doesn’t like it, can hold my purse!



-Chloe

Photo Above – Me eating {gulp}, “Deep-fried Cheesecake” at the Erie Days fair in Erie PA. Whoever invented this stuff must have said, “Gee, I want to have a heart attack, but don’t want to wait in line…” The “evidence” was photographed by Laura Miller… Thanks girl… I owe you one… <wink>
Tags: erie, gala, laura_miller, melissa_pink,
Friday August 22, 2008 - 12:27am (EDT) Permanent Link | 11 Comments
Video: Pink Thoughts VLog 08-15-08
Video: Pink Thoughts VLog  08-15-08 magnify
Pink Thoughts
Video Log (VLog)
08/15/08




Visit Melissa Pink's Web Page HERE

Visit Debbie Dunkle's Page HERE
Tags: vlog, video, melissa_pink, debbie_dunkle
Friday August 15, 2008 - 01:59am (EDT) Permanent Link | 10 Comments
4 Sale: New in Box - American Dream
4 Sale: New in Box - American Dream magnify
There is a disease in this country and indeed the world. – that disease is ignorance, and it’s spreading at an exponential rate. Each day we give up our rights and we accept it. We give up our jobs and accept less in life and we do nothing but move on. As the quality of our life degrades so does our expectations and tolerance for others so we conceded rights and hard fought for liberties in order to hold onto our DVD collections and ability to download illegal MP3 playlists from LimeWire.


What the hell is happening to us?


America used to have an economic cherry. From where I stand, it seems in the past 10 years alone, that cherry has been sold down the river in lieu of $40,000+ SUV's and Plasma TV. While America Blogs, surfs for Internet porn, checks fantasy football stats or goes virtual garage sale shopping on eBay, India and China are taking up our slack –AND- their doing it for pennies on the dollar.


To my many over seas friends – this Blog is not meant to take aim at you – it is meant to point out that we American’s have given away our way of life that has supported us for the last century. I know many people in the UK who say that their jobs are at risk or have been taken away too.


In the last 3 years I have watched the demographics of households change right before my eyes. The family across the street from me was the first – The husband lost his job because China bought up the steal factory, dismantled it and moved it to China – they kept him on long enough to train his own replacement over seas and help move the factory onto the boat.


The next to go was the gentleman behind me – He worked for Steiner. Steiner makes lawn equipment and other power tools – those jobs are all over seas now.


The next to go was the man next to me – he worked for GMAC. He was a district manager and they replaced him with “Seasonal work force” from over seas. Every 6 months a replacement manager will be brought over to work his job and sent back to the over seas GMAC subsidiaries. GMAC also owned his home and now, every 6 months, we get a new neighbor. The latest family living there are Egyptians and they will be there until the next replacement comes.


Joining these people will be my wife Rene – her Job was just out sourced to India as well. They gave her notice that her position will be terminated come this November. They are sending 35 people from India to train with her and her co-workers over the next few weeks. They will show them how to do their jobs. Rene has already begun hunting for another job. By the way, the 35 people will replace over 100 America workers working for less than 1/10 of what Americans made and their employer will NOT have to pay 401k’s, Medical benefits or workman’s comp and disability claims or premiums.


Disease IS spreading – but the disease is not our over seas competitors – its our own laziness and ignorance to do something about it. Working for the phone company, I go into many businesses and homes each day. During my 9 year Tenure, I have heard 1000’s of stories JUST LIKE those above. Adding to that, the many people out of work I have talk to online and read about in the newspaper.


I don’t have the answer to fix this – other than we need to get back to basics here in the USA. For me, that means carefully choosing whom I do business with. Utilities companies – Credit cards, food, restaurants – EVERYTHING, I am going to do my best to see to it that my business is kept local as best I can to support the local economy.


I am going to work to spend less on Gas, utilities and products NOT made in the USA. (as best I can). I’m also going to carefully consider whom I choose to vote for in elections and make sure that their priority and loyalties are to the American working families.


The American kitchen cabinets are almost bare. The country is almost in the toilet – if you have money, land and investments, you may not be feeling the pinch – but trust me, many people ARE… and those people are a lot worse off than me or my wife. Some of these people have been unemployed for years and have way more education than I do.


At night I pray….
…Lord, America is almost broke. We need some help here:


People are starving in the unemployment line; soldiers are dying for rich men’s oil drilling rights on foreign shores; American homes are being foreclosed faster than being built; business are closing up and moving away; dignity is for sale online at Monster.com and faith in our government has turned into fear; Our hero’s are in comic books; Children have forgotten how to play tether ball and 4 square because Wii hasn’t digitized the game yet; The elderly freeze for prescriptions instead and predatory reverse mortgage lenders stand waiting with a pen like the big bad wolf outside their door; Planes fly into buildings and complete cities have been flooded leaving still today 10’s of thousands homeless in the street, 4 years later.

Where are our priorities?
Where are our hero’s?
Where is our salvation?

How can we save the world when we can’t save ourselves – and who put us in charge of that in the first place?


Our high wage earning jobs are being given to China and India and our low paying jobs are given to illegal Mexicans. Our social security and now or Medicare system is being put up for grabs for use by the illegal’s. I'm not against Mexicans working - lets just make them legal so they can contribute to the system from which they burden or wish to draw upon.


There are more baby boomer's getting ready to retire that will cause a crash in the Medicare system. They are NOT handing down their fathers business, farms and legacies – those are for sale so they can continue to vacation and live “the life” their fathers never had and the life their children will never have either.


51% of our wages go to the government now before we even get our pay checks and another 9% will go into their hands when we buy something with those wages – another 7- 15% will go into their hands when we die. So build more roads… hire more Post office workers and print up more useless junk mail for them to deliver.


When I was child, my mom use to yell at me – SHUT THE DOOR or you’ll let out all the cool air we paid for and the bugs will fly in – then the house will get hot and be filled with flies.


"AMERICANS: SHUT THE DAMN DOOR!!"


It starts with –YOU- !!

Tags: american, dream
Thursday August 14, 2008 - 03:36am (EDT) Permanent Link | 15 Comments

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