So not really sure what I am feeling right now but feeling postpartum depression about 18 years later. But where is the Kaboom? The one that Marvin so aptly described as "earth shattering".

The nest is now empty. The chicks have flown the coop to spread their wings and soar on their own now. OK, they are collegiate chicks now and not really on their own. One has even already made a request for me to send home-baked goodies as the food isn't great. I received the following text message "Note to self dinner normally sucks." So I know they will at least miss Mom's cooking. Although that is the same one who still hasn't made it down to breakfast after four days, some things will never change.

Just dropped of the second chick to fly today. Their move in crews were highly efficient, no construction needed for this one and no reason to linger. Was very proud of myself for not crying on the way home as I was driving today (Yes, they both needed two cars to get their stuff to college. It is amazing how much they can squeeze in a room! ), unlike the little bout of tears on Tuesday.

So no lingering today, no loitering, stop, drop and roll. But where is that defining moment that tells me that I am an empty nester? That I am free to do what I want, when I want, to order what I like on pizza instead of the best way to feed all of them, lol. Where is that point where I am ME, not a mom, not a wife, not an employee or daughter but ME? And how does one go about the change over? I know I don't stop being them, that is ridiculous but switching from Mom to Me is a bit of a change. Am I the person I think I am? Am I the person I hope my friends think I am? To be re-evaluating one's life at this age is hard and the question is now what?

Just like them, I am also stepping up to the edge of nest and taking that leap. There will be mistakes I am sure but all in all I can only hope that it will be an adventure. An adventure that leads me to the me I want to be.

(Just be sure to bring a tissue or two with you for now. Just to be safe.)