Dear Reader,

I was surfing the blogs and other spaces found inspiration through others writings, rants and general ideas.

Then I looked up my dream from last night. Well that is no surprise on the meaning.

Dom wrote about a show that talked about a "broken picker" also there was reference to loving yourself to fulfill your emotional needs.

Nenee posted a quote by Anthony Robins. To paraphase, most people enter into a relationship to get something, have some need fulfilled. The long lasting relationship however is entered into when you seek to give something.

Both excellent points as well as sound advice. I pass them to you.

I had to learn the hard way about codependency, needs, wants and desires. I love my friend, please don't take it the wrong way it is simply my way recognizing my patterns, mistakes and seeking to grow.

There is a girl within me that yearns for love, acceptance, peace and adventure. She is often scared and unsure, overcompensates with actions, and also compulsively spends. She is smart, wholesome and lively. I recognized through the course of this past year that she has gone unchecked. My sponsor had me do a serious of letters, amends, and verbal exercises to get in touch with her. Today I treat myself with kindness, I mother myself, and discipline my own actions.

It is ironic then to see the manifestation of these defects reflected in my partner's view of myself. She is a strong woman, whom I have the deepest respect, love, and gratitude. She shows me, or tells me when others would have been gentile the truth. I don't always like hearing the truth as it can hurt but I walk through it with a better understanding of myself and my actions.

I am very grateful for her willingness to be honest with me. The rest is up to me. If I stop with her comments then I am not doing myself justice. It is the same with my sponsor, or anyone in my life that is worthy of being my friend. Even my family has some influence, but only those I admire for the qualities they are attempting to teach.

In the end if I seek growth, understanding and love I must, MUST hear, listen and act accordingly. This is the fundamental idea of becoming a better human. In my book, I wrote about the life of a girl who walked through some hard times, faltered on unstable ground and ultimately fell through the cracks of her own making. She wanted to die, to leave, to never be apart of the world she coveted but didn't want her. (percieved)

In the end she found the ability to try one more time. There was one subtle difference:

She cast out her old ideas of hate, bitterness, jealousy, anger and fear with the belief

that new ones would be replacing them.

It is her journey to finding the one person she never knew.

Herself.

~Dragon