Yeah so the wedding's been called off. But we are still talking so it's more back up a couple of steps and get to know each other better. Which is probably the best idea. Hey for all he knows I could be bi-polar lol. Sweet today psycho the next. nah too tame these days for psycho. Ballistic maybe from time to time. Only when I feel like someone's messing with me do I get upset. Otherwise I'm just doing the best I can to deal with my own little corner of this crazy world we live in.

Yeah right. Don't I wish. Lol. Yup the latest stunt from yours truly Grace herself: Up on my bench marking and cutting pattern pieces cuz it was easier to mark out all the pieces at once then cut them instead of moving the material to me progressively as I did the same thing only one at a time. Finished the last piece and I went to step backwards off the bench but my foot didn't want to move. Mind you, all this happened simultaneously. I looked down as I went to move my foot back off the bench and I saw my left shoelace inder my right foot but by that time it was too late. I lost my balance and fell backwards off the bench instead of stepping back. I tried to put my hand behind my to catch myself and the butt of my hand hit the floor first jamming my arm up behind me. I bruised the lower part of my hand, jammed my wrist, broke the little bone in my elbow, and jammed my shoulder all in one fell swoop. Wow! What a Monday! So what do I do? Kept on working nursing a sore hand, elbow and shoulder. The next morning I decided I was too sore for work so I went to the nurse in the family, my sister and she told me that if for no other reason than to have it documented for work that I was injured I should go to the emergency room. Three hours later they're releasing me with my arm in a soft cast with orders to get a hard cast as soon as the swelling goes down. OOWW!! Yeah real light on my feet. Yee-haw.

I've had my moments in the spotlight but I doubt anyone would remember a silly kid with a crooked smile singing her heart out only to be drowned out by an over-zealous guitarist with an ego like King Kong.

I've picked fruit down in Florida, packed fruit and sorted fruit in Colorado, spent hours walking paces in the fields in Idaho so a crazy pilot could spray, moved more than my share of furniture working for a "bed-bugger", sweating my butt off chasing orders for rude people who barely appreciated how hot or delicious the food was or wasn't, slopped my share of drinks for drunks who thought a dime was a generous tip.

The biggest tips and/or recognition came when I danced my way across a variety of stages in various states. The applause was good for a while and it paid the bills. But it got old real quick especially after I sobered up. Stalkers were inevitable as one of the job hazards. Eventually they scared me away from the spotlight.

No one else remembers. Just me. I remember everything. So many jobs said, "Oh, you can't do that - you're just a girl." They were sure surprised at all that 'just a girl' could accomplish. But where did it get me? What did it accomplish? Was there ever really anything to gain? Who even cares?

The times I miss the most is that stupid silly kid so naive singing her heart out back when she still had a voice. Before she'd been grabbed around the throat too many times; before she drank too much whiskey and smoked too many cigarettes trying to forget; before too many colds that didn't give up easily took her voice away. But nobody ever really listened to me much. Cuz back then I didn't have much to say, not what they wanted to hear. I just loved to sing. Now I've got a lot to say but no beautiful voice comes out and they don't want to hear my words anyway.