Hey i was sitting at work and thinking is it really poosible to be faithful in a gay relationship. I mean Really faithful no infidelity of any form that includes kissing some one elses that is not your partner. As i look at my relationships and my friends relationships it just seems like it not possible even the ones that have been together for years have had some form of problem with infidelity. I am really starting to believe that it not possible and it seems like we are our own worst enemies. We will claim we in love or serious like which ever u prefer, But at the same time we will still log in to various sites claiming to just be looking for friends but yet we all know these sites are there just for hook ups.

So with all this i dont understand why do we keep putting ourselves thru this turmoil. it already a shame that sex holds so much weight in our relationships. We constantly invite people that dont have our best interest or even our reltionship into our lives. Then seem confused or blame others for what happens. maybe if we truly cared enough about ourselves and the people in our lives we may act differently. I do believe that part the problem is the fact that appearance or dick size holds such credabilty over personality and how a person treats us.

Maybe i am wrong maybe i am right but this bothers me wen i see two people happy together n lose it all cause if not one but both cant keep there cheeks closee or there dicks in there pants.Let me know how u feel Till next time PEACE.

how far would u go to do What u want would u go as far as hurting the one person that u care about the most whether the just a friend or more than a friend.

i have recently experienced something that has caused me to remove someone i care for dearly from my life. believe me it has been hard as ever to make this decision but every time i have second thought i try to remember this is not the first time the have done something to hurt me. What makes it harder is that in the past year i have had to remove several people from my life that either said they had my best interest at heart or have said the infamous phrase "i love you." As i said in my previous blog i have learned that that phrase usually isn't worth the paper it written on.

But this person has lied to me on several occasion and don't get me wrong in return i have lied to him which unfortunately started a vicious cycle. However wen all lies came to the for front we both promised not to go that road again because of the strain it caused on our relationship. it destroyed trust which i believe is the most important element in a relationship of any kind.

So since then i believed we where both staying honest with each other however i have recently found out that i was the only on being honest and the other was saying what i wanted to hear. i mean to the point where the person decided to do something that we have talked about and they said they wont do it. And to make matters worst had to sneak to do it even though he was told by everyone that he should tell me he thought it best to tell me after it was done.

Just say wen i found out i was not the happiest of people and have since decided that since they are determined to constantly lie to me and deceive me what is the point of having a friend that is constantly determined to hurt me. Not to mention wen i finally do speak to him he cant tell me why he lied but can tell me before they did it they knew it was wrong and wen they did it still feel bad. So i told him that i could not take it anymore and that i am removing them from my life and they keep asking me not however they have yet to try to reverse What they have done.

So i am asking for a bit of advice how much is to much before u have to wash your hands of an individual. do you remove them the first time or do u wait until it has come so bad. i am really hurting on this cause as i said i care for this individual a lot if u have any in-site please leave a comment.

wassup peeps

i just sittin here at the computer n it got me thinking how many of the people u meet on these sites are really for real. dont get me wrong i have met some good people on some of these sites, but some people well just to put it nice scare the shit out of me. i mean they hardly know u n they acting like they own own u. example i met this guy on here n he seemed cool we had a alot in comon as far as sports n video games. They really seemed like some one that i would have liked to have as a friend. So we arranged a public place to meet (movies) and things were cool we talked about our interest n stuff like that. Everything was cool how i was so wrong wee left the movies n parted way wen i got home my phone wrang. I missed the call cause i was in the bathroom so it went to voice mail. I get the message and it from this guy so i like cool thinkin it was a message sayin how it was a good night, but no it was a message callin me all type of names cause i didnt answer the phone talking about i should answer my mans phone. i was thrown back i was like this nigger just showed his ass so i called him back thinking maybe he was jokin but this nigger was serious i only known him for like two hrs in person n maybe a few months on line. i just hung up on the fool and called it a lost but now i get messages every day online talking about how much they need me.

Just want to know if any you guys have been thru this before and if so tell me your story or how u dealt with it but i really startting to think there are alot of strange folks out there.

Wassup peeps it been awhile since I wrote on of these so bare with me lol.......

It been six years since i realised i was gay yes I said gay so if u didnt know now u know an knowing is half the battle lol. Since then I have had two real relationships. I have also met people that have had affected my life in both good and bad ways but i cherish the experience the lesons i have learned. if u have read one of my previous blogs (hint to read other blogs lol!!!!!) u know that i try not to use the word love as freely as some use it. but i have recently experienced something that i just dont seem to understand and maybe someone out there can help me with this.

As i said i dont toss the word love around very often outside of my family so to say there are three people that i truly love that are not blood is pretty serious for me. But recently things have happen that have confused me n made me some what bitter towards one but yet i still care for them deeply which is why i think i am so upset. To help u guys that are not in that circle understand the three people are my two ex's and some one that i would have been in a relationship with if not for bad timing.

Too start from the begining my first relationship was a rocky one for me i had just come out never been in the life before never been to a gay club or anything of the stuff most gay people except as normal coming from a small island being gay is taboo. I loved him darely n too this day i still love him darely. My friend who i met a few years after the brake up with my first is a completely lovely person i mean i never met someone so genuine but at the same time a little confused of what they really want but everyone has that problem at sometime in there life even me. My second ex is beautiful (physically,emotionally, and spiritually) but seriously nieve and unsure of himself (the boy can dance lol). recently god did something that i never thought would happen but as they say god brings people in your life for a reason. After four years of not speaking to my first (though i wanted to) n not knowing where he was god brought him back into my life thru my friend but as i was going thru another rough brake up with my second lol. sounds like something u would see on young and the restless or one of those other day time drama's. i felt a enflux of emotions that i regrettfully put on my friend ( i am sorry). I then invited my friend to come visit me on my island where he met my my second this lies the problem me n my second have been going thru a really really tough brake up ( he the first person i ever been with here on my island). things seem to be ok everyone got along no cat fights or anything like that lol.

however things where not as good as i thought me an my friend went thru somethig during that time that seem to tear our friendship assunder. Now before all u jump down my throat about y u bring your friend down to the island if you n your ex was not settled go postal. For me it was not a hook up trip i wanted my friend to experience my island especially since he never left the u.s.a and on top of that my friend was never kept in the dark of my situation with my ex i ntold him everything that was going on so he knew wa to expect before he arrived and even though i invited him i told him it was his choice. during the end of the trip something tragic happen n i was extremely unsensative to his problem once again i am truly sorry. how ever wen he left i was under the impression that things was fine. But unfortunately i was once again so wrong. Now as i said the love for my friend did not diminish. we talked on and off and i was happy that him and my second ex were getting along. Then all of a sudden the communication betwwen me n them came to a complete stop no reason or anything. and i understand we hundreds of miles apart an all but still. My friend never had a problem finding a way of talkin to my ex. Now at first i thought he was trying to get with my ex which i have no control of. n wasnt really mad but i figured as a friend he could have told me if it was that. My friend how ever has now completely changed towards me and i guess time would do that but i dont understand how u can tell one person that u dont want nothing to do with a me n u cant speak even though they know the person speaks to me often to tell me hi or ask howi am doing. Or even telling the person not to bring up my name. But if i send u an email u tell me u will alwasy love me. i dont understand how u can love some one but not want to know there well being.

right now i am realling confused n hurt cause i just dont understand how that is possible. i am not sure if they will read this but i dont want them to take this as a persoanl attack it not but it has been bothering me for awhile now. i just dont see why someone that i care for n love n says they love me is not able to tell me exactly how they feel. it just make me think if that is how your love works.