Well, by now, it may seem like I can't get anything together as far as life as we know it goes. I've had several meaningful discussions with friends and family over my future plans, and it all boils down to the fact that most of my decisions are made based on how I feel...the emotions that I have at the time. Whether or not I hate the circumstances I am in or I love the house that I'm in or the fact that I just moved to a townhouse so that a friend of mine and I can help each other out rent-wise and I would loathe to move again after last week. (Seriously...I loathe the whole prospect of moving...I have that much stuff and I don't like moving it.)

But the one thing that stuck out to me the most was a conversation. Not a gut feeling, not a circumstance...just a simple conversation that I had with my dad. Daddy and I are very close. I can talk to him about almost anything, and it doesn't matter what it is, Daddy always has a piece of Daddy-wisdom to share with me. We were driving back from the hospital (Dad has to get his blood checked every couple of weeks because of the medicine he takes) and as we were driving, we spoke about my apartment and my job and what I wanted to do next year. At the time, I really wanted to go home, and I still do...but as we were conversing about my current job, Daddy made a good point...Tenure is not easy to come by on your first teaching job out of college. When they handed me my tenure letter, it was their way of telling me, "We value you as a teacher and as a person and we want to keep you." I am someone of value. Someone of worth in the teaching profession. Mama re-enforced that last night when she said, "They see your value...you just need to see it in yourself. Give yourself a little credit. God puts the brightest lights in the darkest places, and He has a reason for you to be there."

Isn't that the way God works sometimes? We have such a vast amount of value as an heir to the kingdom of Heaven, and He sees us in that way! So why can't we see that in ourselves? Why can't we see that in each other?

I had a hard time with that last year, I'll admit that. Sometimes, when little Johnny keeps beating rhythms on his desk just to annoy you, it's hard to see how much worth he has...because he's doing something that you don't like. But when we goof up, God still sees us as His children. He doesn't like what we do if we've made a mistake, but that doesn't lessen our worth to Him.

The more I think about this, the more I want to find the worth in these children with whom I work. I want to find out what they can do. I want to find out who they can be. I want to know how I can help them find that worth that they have in themselves, even when they can't recognize it because so many people in their lives tell them that they aren't worth anything. In all actuality, they are precious in the sight of the Lord and treasures to everyone who will seek to look for that worth that lies within them. They are remarkable, and if you teach school, your job is to bring that out in them. Last year, I didn't do so good at that. I'll admit it. I was struggling with things going on, such as my dad being sick and my grandparents being in a bad way. But like I told Mama last night, the more that I rest and reflect, I see ways to do things better and bring out the abilities that these children have.

So, I'm going to stay put, and work with these people and these children that I really have grown to love.

Besides, I hate moving. It's a pain.