A carpet fitter in Kilkenny, gad to fit a carpet he'd sold, and a fine job his team do for a large room, when he entered the room to inspect the work there was a lump in the middle of the carpet, , "What the hell is that" he cried, oh jeez said one of the team, me flippin fags musta dropped outta me pocket, here's a mallet lad, said the fitter beat it til it's flat lose that lump, the guy did and a fine job he made too, nice surface. just then the lady of the house came up, tea boys c'mon, by the way, some one left their ciggies in the kitchen, and will ye keep an eye out me budgie seems to have gone missing .

True story