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Started my day as I usually do this morning, every morning. As soon as the sun came up I knew it was safe to crawl out from under my bed, the night creatures would be gone and I would be able to shower and wash the invisible spiders from in and around my skin. Thank god for the light of day!

Having taken care of The 3 Morning S's, I ventured outside to see what the world had in store. The wind seemed to be blowing in all 4 directions and I thought to myself, I'm not the only odd thing around here, hmmmm? Just then an ominous cloud rolled in (see picture) and a voice, a very terrifying voice, came from the cloud ..... it was the voice of Chicken Little, ....... I think. It kept repeating "the sky is falling, the sky is falling ......"

So I will be blogging from underneath my bed today. It's dark under here and difficult to type and those freakin' spiders are back! I'll do what I can, but don't expect much out of me today!

GH: Yes, my spacecraft was repossessed. I came to this planet with a qintel of ranknas, enough currency to last many earthing lifetimes, but did not consider in advance the difficulty I would have in finding a bank that would do currency exchange from my branch of Hell's Fargo in the Liptoid galaxy.

GH: No, I am an early pre-production trans-alien module (model 6969x) from Planet S-Xchange and I am powered by a microcomputer chip that is roughly 100 times more powerful than your Three Mile Island facility was at it's peak. The one disadvantage of using this particular chip is that I have to be careful not to fart.

GH: Yes the consequences of an unsequestered fart would be more devastating than 1000 Chernobyls. Other than that I am safe to use as directed. If you mean, by freak, that I am half man, half woman .... than that would be correct. You see, prior to my manufacture, we did not know that your women actually ruled the universe. To be safe we made a decision to send a unit that reflected both entities ...ala me. ....Do you think I'm hot? You know I can see what's causing that bulge in your pants?

GH: Yes, that will have to be in the next blog. It is now time for my daily laction replenishment, my only source of nutrition. On my planet, you see, we are all breast fed by the giant Queen Mother nipple device ... it's keeps us healthy and our families close ..... in Earthling termonology we call it Momma's Magnificient Mammary Milkshake Moonberry Delight.