So it has been almost a month since my last posting. Life happens very quickly, so to find free time to sit here and type to the faceless, nameless photons who will gaze upon these thoughts is kinda scarce.

I have been involved in a poly relationship now for almost a year. For those who are uninformed, poly does not equate to slutty or whorish. I have searched long and hard for a complementary lover. To my surprise, I have found her. She is bright, sassy and open minded. Needless to say that she is also submissive.

I have been involved with another dominant (a woman) and our dynamic is very different that that of a dominant/submissive relationship. Energies flow laterally rather from one to the next. As a dominant, I have missed that dynamic. Luckily, I have found it again.

The downside is that the wonderful woman who happens to be submissive has met a very docile submissive man who allows her function in her world. At first I was very jealous, I wanted to have that space; however, in order to have that space, I would have to give up my primary relationship. Herein lies the quandary.

For those of you who know what I am talking about, the time where theory and reality collide is a very unsettling and upsetting time. I have come to realize through much introspection and after acting very much like a caveman, that her new love is not me, and as such can not fill the void in her life that I do. It would be ideal if we could all get along, but there was something about him that turned me off, like the feeling of having aluminum foil in your mouth, a sour electrical blah......

After our Yule celebration (she is a practicing Pagan), I have come to accept things for what they are and will wait to see what the future holds. My ability to pierce the veils of time is limited, but much of what I had forecast has come to pass....Until then, I will take the joy that life gives us and not dwell on what may not yet be.

A very merry Christmas, Yule and Kwanzaa for all....

Well, it has been almost a year now that I have lived here at my seaside Dachau. I have lived through the cold lonely winter, and have seen life blossom and fade through the course of the year. I truly grew to love the beach and all that goes with it.

I have found that being involved in a poly relationship can be both exciting and frustrating all at the same time. It's not like I want to go out and sleep with everyone who knocks at my door, but the idea of knowing that there is a proverbial needle in the haystack does have it's appealing moments.

Yes Virginia, there are many things to be thankful for in my life. I guess in the lull time between the seemingly dead of winter and the last gasp of life in the fall is as good a time as any to review, regroup and rededicate my self to the things that count.

I have never given much thought to these blogs, and as such probably underestimated just how cathartic and soul cleansing they can be. Such is life, live learn and cherish.

Live today as if it were your last...it is a great sentiment, but not really practical. Besides, I have too many things that are unresolved to have today be my last....LOL

Whether you are homosexual or not, you should repost this in
support of your friends and loved ones who are. Love is not defined
by color, creed, or gender.



I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I
bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother
because I now live with another woman.



I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a
fag everyday



I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my
mother that I am a lesbian.



I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a
transsexual woman.



I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the
painful, tear-filled nights.



We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her
time.



I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not
let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.



I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken
away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have
ever had. I wish they could adopt me.



I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before
graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.



We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found
out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.



I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I
want to avoid getting the management called on me.



I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system
grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive
partner is also a woman.



I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to
turn to because I am male.



I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up
afraid to show affection to other men.



I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym
until someone told me that only lesbians do that.



I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon
as they realized I was transsexual.



I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much
better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating
me.



I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't
believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.



I am the girl scared to tell my friends im a lesbian because they
think i will hit on them.



I am a warrior for my country serving proud, but can't be my true
self because gays aren't allowed in the military.



I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most,
love.



I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian,
because they constantly make fun of them.



I am that son, that was disowned by my mother and father, because I
was. But loved by other member's in my family.



I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to
die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson."





This is the boy, Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney
and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie
where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of hate. Matthew was tied
to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the
cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist
who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October
12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. KILLED
BECAUSE HE WAS GAY!!!



---IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS

AS ".HOMOPHOBIA"