“A woman’s prerogative is to change her mind.”

It is not clear where that saying comes from, but as I am moving in that direction there is really no reason I shouldn’t follow the saying to the letter!! Until now ‘on-line’ and off my name has been Davinia. I had spent years thinking what to call myself, but when my daughter was born had given her my first choice of Imogen. So when I started to come out on-line I took an easy route to choose my name and ‘feminized’ my existing one! ‘David’ became ‘Davinia’! Very classy!! Or so I thought!!

However, Steph, a girlfriend of mine was asked by a girlfriend of hers if I was Trans as I had a name like ‘Davinia’. However’ as I was reasonably happy with the name and I was just using it on-line at the time, I really thought nothing of it, it was easier to stick with the name I’m known as on here than change it. And I don’t even know Steph’s friend, she knew Steph is trans so a friend (me) could well be trans too!

But what really started this girl wobbling about her name was a couple of weeks ago when I ‘came-out’ to a girl I’d known for at least 30 years and told her my choice of name! Straight away, without a moment’s hesitation she said “Don’t use that! Change it! It sounds like a drag queen!!” And that is one thing I never ever want to be seen as!! She also said if I stuck with Davinia she’d never speak to me again! But I wasn’t too worried about that! No, what worried me more is very shortly I will be legally changing my name as part of my transition, and after that it would start to get very expensive and complicated to keep legally changing my name as often as I change my mind!!!

So I ‘did me some thinking’ and that’s another good thing about becoming a woman! Unlike men they do actually think!! The name I am now going to be is ‘Catherine Louise Hilton’ shortened to ‘Cate’ if you want although I will answer to ‘Cathy’ or even ‘Oi! You!’ if needed! (lol)

When I told my mother what my legal female name will be, she was ‘over the moon’ as if I had actually been born a girl my name would have been Catherine!

May I apologize if I lose touch with any of you girls who have been friends over the past year as I change my name on blogs etc. My new e-mail address is catherine.hilton@ymail.com by the way! But I guarantee having used my woman’s prerogative once I won’t be using it to change my name ever again!!

Since I finally ‘slid off the fence’, after all those years of self-hatred and depression, and made THE decision there is one thing that has totally amazed, astounded and above all delighted me! I suppose it’s because all our lives are moving in the same direction, although that is a ‘very flat’ way of describing the most fabulous and fantastic life-journeys any human being could ever under take! But over the past year I have made friends with some of the most fantastic girls anyone could ever hope to meet, both on-line and in person.

As I live ‘out in the sticks’ and not in a big city it’s not as easy as I would like to meet other girls in person, and especially when I first ‘came-out’ to myself it was difficult to know where to go to meet others, and more importantly talk with them! So first of all I started to get to know and ‘talk’ to girls on-line, including those across ‘the pond’. And I found I could easily spend hours ‘chatting’ to girls who I now hope we will be friends for life! We had such a lot in common that while we may not have been physically talking, our fingers certainly were!

But when it came to actually getting to know other girls who I’d initially met on-line I was simply amazed how well we could just, well, talk! As a man I was always a little shy and quiet, but now when I meet up with girlfriends there is just no stopping me!! Indeed the animal cruelty people may have issued a warning against me as it appears I can now ‘talk the hind legs of a donkey!’ (lol)

Whatever else happens in my life, and I hope it is going to essentially be good, I consider it a privilege indeed to have been able to get to know such wonderful girls and more importantly enjoy the ‘girl talk!’

“As you sow so shall you reap” It may be a phrase from the bible but as I have started to ‘come out’ to those I know the truth of the phrase has hit me so hard! All my life I have been a warm caring individual which looking back on things I suppose were essentially feminine traits in a ‘macho’ world!

But when the truth of the biblical phrase really hit home was as I came out separately to my two sons. I came out to Robert, my youngest son first. As he is in the army and is not home so often, I thought that me telling him my future as a woman would turn him totally away from me, him being involved in want is often still a man’s world. Then I came out to Andrew me eldest son, he’s almost 21 and at college. With both of them I have not had as much contact as I would like since I was kicked out of thw family home in 1999 to make way for their mother’s police inspector boyfriend! However, I can only be the seed of goodness, understanding, and well love, I planted in them at an early age that made them so accepting of my dream. They both said that all that really mattered was my happiness! (Awwwww! I could almost cry!)

I have now ‘come out’ to well over 30 people in my hometown and until now have had only one negative response, but that could be due to where I came out to her, it was in a supermarket!!

I just hope and pray that people continue to be so accepting, and based on the seeds of love I have planted here most just might be!

Well this is confession time, yet again I’m afraid!! I have been a very naughty girl in putting my own desire to own a ‘flash’ pair of knee-high boots above almost everything else!!! All through my life I have always put others first, but just for once this was something I wanted, just for me! Well, actually for Davinia, but you can imagine what I mean!

I’d spotted a pair of boots on the WWW.mangus.com website. I’m (UK) size 11 and I thought that finding a pair in my size -a pretty tall order. Speaking of ‘tall-orders’ as I’m six feet tall in my stocking feet, I avoid heels to blend in with genetic women height wise.

When I first started looking for the boots, I got the terminology wrong and put out a message in the community asking for thigh high leather boots rather than the knee high ones. I bet some girls though I was very kinky, speaking of which if you’ve not seen it I can thoroughly recommend the movie, ‘Kinky Boots’! It’s about a shoe factory in the Midlands that starts making boots for TG and CD girls.

The boots actually cost more than any other item of clothing I had ever bought for myself in my entire life! But wearing them something special comes over this girl. There is a saying that, “If the shoe/boot fits wear it!!” Wearing these boots makes me feel like a real woman, literally from the ground up! I almost don’t want the Spring and Summer to arrive so I can wear them the whole year round! Ah well, Summer will soon be on it’s way and maybe I’ll then be able to regale you with another shoe story! Speaking of which ……..