Thoughts of the Dark Mistress Full Post View | List View
Just a glimpse into my world & the way I see things *winks*
- Entry for April 16, 2008: 25 Lessons From My Mother
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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP .
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.'Wednesday April 16, 2008 - 11:16pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 0 Comments - Entry for October 21, 2007 HAUNTED HOUSE!!
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Hey all...hope everyone is having a GREAT weekend so far.
I wanted to let you all know that my son Navar & I are working out at the Haunted House. If you live in the area you should come out to see us *grins*
Museum of Horrors & Chainsaw Nightmare are the haunted houses.
Two best haunted houses in all of central Texas!
You get $2.00 off when you bring 2 can goods.
It is $13.00 to see one house & $20 for both.
North of Waco
IH-35 & exit 345
25th thru the 31st
8pm to Midnight
(254)VAM-PIRE for details
Hope to see you out there...we are having a ghoulish time!!!!Sunday October 21, 2007 - 04:04pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 1 Comment - Entry for September 21, 2007...And All Was Silent
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Rage & anger
Sorrow & pain
All these voices from within
Screaming...yelling
Hateful...hurtful words
Only wanting to die
Nothing I do is right
Can't breathe
Can't take no more
So much pain
So much sorrow
feeling there is no tomorrow
Failing...falling
So much agonizing pain
So numb...so cold
Slipping away
I see the light
...And all was silent
Friday September 21, 2007 - 08:54am (CDT) Permanent Link | 1 Comment - Entry for September 17, 2007 Dragons & Heavy Metal
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I thought this was funny so I am sharing with you *smiles*
DRAGONS & HEAVY METAL
HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers, and bones the princess.
POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments. The dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave...without the princess.
VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings, and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body, slashes her belly, and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass again, burns the corpse, and fucks it for the last time.
GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely indecipherable for about 30 seconds, and then leaves.
DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon, and thinks he could never beat him. He gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragons eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly the dragon swallows the flute and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell for all eternity.
PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives at the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.
INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing a greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gesture towards the dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someone's screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.
CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to "thank" the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage".
GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footmen, war chariots, and a dozen elite warriors, and as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.
NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him. He gets eaten. The princess is very happy, because he was a whiny fag anyway.Monday September 17, 2007 - 08:50am (CDT) Permanent Link | 1 Comment - Entry for September 03, 2007 50 Random things about me
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1. Height?
5'2"
2. Have you ever smoked heroine?
NOPE!
3. Do you own a gun?
Nope...just daggers & swords *evil grin*
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Not really...just before dentists...don't like them!
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
They're okay
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?Don't care for them.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Usually grab one of my flavored waters or herbal tea.
9. Can you do push ups?
HAHA...no!
10. Is your bathroom clean?
yes
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
The ones you see in my pics.
12. Do you like painkillers?
I hate taking medicines unless I REALLY need it.
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Umm...it's a secret *winks*
14. Do you have A.D.D.?
Nope
15. What's you middle name?
Rachel
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
I am tired, bored & need something cold to drink
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought today:
Nothing
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Flavored waters, Monster, Herbal teas
22. Current worry?
Not being able to find a job *sighs*
23. Current hate?
Not living in my own house *cries*
24. Favorite place to be?
In my room these days
25. How you celebrate Christmas?
Usually with family but not been in the Xmas mood these days...every year it's the same. I am usually alone...single!
26. Where would you like to go?
To the other side of the world!
27. Do you own slippers?
Yes...black satin if you're talking about house slippers.
28. What shirt are you wearing?
Black tank top with a Rennaisance cross on it & a black skirt
29. Do you burn or tan?
tan
30. Favorite color(s)?
Black & Red
31. Would you be a pirate?
Arrrrrrr...hehe!
33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
What ever is on the radio as long as it's rock~n~roll!!!!
35. What's in your pockets right now?
don't have any
36. Last thing that made you laugh
My boys...they always make me laugh!
37. Best bed sheets as a child?
Hmm *tries not to hurt self for thinking so far back* not sure...I think they were purple with unicorns on it.
39. Last time you cried?
day before yesterday at night...was feeling vry down & lonely.
40. Do you have a TV in your bedroom?
Yes
41. Who is your loudest friend?
I have a couple *smiles*
42. Who is your most silent friend?
None are quiet..hehe!
43. What is your favorite song
Oh gees...too many!
44. Do u wish on shooting stars?
Of course...doesn't everyone?
45. whats ur FAV. BOOK?
Well...I have the whole collection of Stephen King.
46. What's your favorite candy?
The chocolate kind *grins*
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
I'm 40 now...what makes you think I might get married any ways?!
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Rob Zombie's Living Dead Girl...HAHA!!
49. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
Talking to a longtime friend.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Morning already?!!Monday September 3, 2007 - 03:30am (CDT) Permanent Link | 2 Comments
