Something just hit me. Actually, it hit me about 10 minnutes ago and I kept losing track of what I found out. XD

It just hit me. Until this year, I have not felt love. Yes, I have felt affection, but not love. I am not talking about love between lovers, but even just between friends and people in general. Befoe this, it was just between me and my animals, probably due to their simple and true loyalty and connections. ANyways, after attending NYSSSA, I was exposed to people who were true and passionate to me, and I was not used to it or even expecting it. It sent me in shock and I kept a slight distance because I wasn't sure what I should have done.

When NYSSSA was over, I thought they would just go about their buisness and that was that. It wasn't so, and I saw them and they kept in touch. Their friendship and compassion amazed me. Their love varied from person to person, but I was so amazed by all of them. It took some time for me to see and for it to fully kick in, but I found that I love them all in one way or another. Yes, even you Creepy Cody. ^^

I came back to school and lost some of it. It seemed as though people in my school were not the same level as me but even then people found me and surprised me with their friendship.

I applied to Rotary in the fall of 2006. Since then I have met people who have blown me away with their kindness to me, a complete stranger. They have been so close, and because of the natural touching of their culture, I have become accustomed to touching people (something before NYSSSA and Rotary I would NEVER want to do or have done to me). They also made me feel so loved and connected to them, even if I only knew them for a little bit. They taught me to love and be kind to people even if I didn't really know them that well. They gave me such a sense of love and community, which I brought back to my hometown.

Even my trip to visit one of my dear old friends made me realize the relm of what I had never fully known. People were so kind and so trusting. I realized fully then of my best friends existance. I know it sounds so odd to you, but it is true. I have always been friends with them, but I never was fully aware of them and the strength of our relationships. The comparasion of this to my expieriences at my school (where people would sometimes ignore me, not give me the time of day, or, sometimes not even realize I was there or see me), made the love between me and my true friends more obvious to me.

Even so, it did not come full circle until my sister came home from school and I woke her up to give her a backrub because a. her back hurt like anything from her crazy long travelling and b. I bought awesome new massage oil that day. ^^ I woke her up and we were talking. I started ranting because I was really upset that one of my friends had dissed a present I had given him that I thought that he would like and it was something very special to me. (It was an antique Sprite bottle I had found and cleaned up. I gave it to hom because I always see him drinkning Sprite so I thought it would be an appropriate gift. He said it was best for smashing against a wall or something.) :'(

Anyways, she told me that people didn't always appreciate me as much as they should, they don't understand me, and she loved me so much. It hit me right there, full circle. Everything. Odd as it sounds, but that was the final connective link.

Haha, but don't think my social confusions are over! Nah! Not by far! ^^ But I am so happy by this that I finally, after so many years, feel this connectiveness that so many take for granted. ^^ Thank you friends, you have helped me so much and I love you all. ^^

GOT 8 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT AND IT ROCKED MY SOCKS!!!! -dances-

Dance, monkey, dance!!

Hehehe, thanks Alfredo. ^^

Well, I woke up, shocked I felt refreshed. I was a tad tired, I'll give it that, but it felt great. I went to school (on time due to the clocks at the school losing battery power and giving me about 3 or 4 minutes more time ^^). Then I took a test in college pre-calc and was uber confident I did well.

Went to college lit, listened to Hamlet gleefully. Went to gym, attempted tennis... again...

Lunch, well, thats about it. Art, more of what I did at lunch. Physics, had the LAST DAY OF NOTES AND LABS EVER!!!! -dances-

Went to the last classes of the day and then left happily. :) I then went to buy some gas, fearing I wouldn't make it home, only to find out that my gas tank wouldn't open! I felt like such an idiot, and you can imagine me, pushing the button, going to check it. I got so frustrated I tryed prying it open to no avail. Furthermore, a bunch of men at the customization place across the way were watching me and I swear they were amused by my issues. ^^

Got home, sifted around for awhile. Finally ended up outside resting on the lawn with my sister and mother. Anna is leaving for Italy tomorrow and wouldn't go to Ithaca for a photoshoot with me, which made me quite sad..

Gah, it has been so long since I last wrote here. Sure, I have written on my DA account, but sadly I have neglected this posting service. :P

Today was not too great. This past weekend no better. Sure, Prom was fun with Amber, but I was so busy and so tired afterwards. I slept most of Sunday and couldn't concentrate. Today my eyes keep moving without my control and I have an uncontrollable urge to cook eggs and toast.

I have 39 days left until graduation. That means I have about 41 or so until I get my wisdoms out. Personally, I am NOT looking forward to it, but what can you do?

Still searching for a camera model to buy. I am stuck on the Canon D30 or a Nikon. Hopefully my mother didn't order it today! XD

A got a ray of happiness though! My Brazilian friend Leticia emailed me today! :D g2g bye!

Well. I'm no longer bored! Yes, my friends, I have gone out last night. I picked up Andrew only to meet his mother who obviously didn't approve of me. The dogs didn't seem to like me either, not even the white one across the street. But thats ok, because we got in the car and drove to downtown Ithaca for a night of dancing. We arrived to dance class about 10 minutes early so we sat in my car and chatted about whatever. It ended abruptly when we got to the topic about cleaning out my car. Hehehehe....

So we got in and music was playing already and he was like in a state or sheer joy. I have NEVER in my existance seen anyone that excited about dancing. :D He was litterally shaking and bobbing around to the music before class even started. lol

Runner man showed up shortly after, soon to be followed by a woman I later found to be named Maria. Maria was so funny and adorable. They were all so eager to learn, it reminded me of when I first started, only I was a tad more scared and falling around. XD

So we went through the basics of Cha-cha, mambo, and merengue. It was so much fun and I think Andrew was just a tad over-excited, which was great, but made him bob excessively when he danced. Unfortunatly, it made me laugh so much that I laughed out loud and he kept asking if I was laughing at him.. lol Yes, I was, but I wouldn't tell him that.

So class finished and everyone was introduced. We now had a mini class of 3 or 4, depending if Andrew came back next time. There was Maria, someone I would love to have in my family, Andrew, me, and Runnerman, whos name I later learned to be Daneil. (I felt alittle bad because I kept forgetting it and thinking it was David). XD

So we then headed up to a local club for a night of dancing. We saw the sign and were so happy to be on the right track until we got about 7 or 8 miles down the road and came to a dead end. We were kinda creeped out because we were in the middle of nowhere so we stopped by a local house and asked for directions. I guess we must have been pretty threatening because the man who talked to us wouldn't even come to the door but just oped the window a crack. We think he might ave been paranoid. XD But he was helpful. The club, it seemed, was directly behind the sign. XD

So we drove the 7 or 8 or so miles back and arrived to the same place about 30 minutes after we passed it originally. We searched around for change, just in case they charged us, and my id in case they checked our age. Luckily, be both look years beyond our time so noone even asked or gave us a second thought.

We walked in to find our friend, Daneil, whom we asked for directions, at the bar. Haha! It was so funny to walk in and see him there when he said he didn't know we were coming and we had asked him for directions. We joined him and we talked about the news and whatnot for awhile.

Later we migrated to the dance floor and started at it. There were dancers there from beginners to advanced, casual to dressed up. It was great. I don't beleive I heard a word of English in the music the entire night, but it was amazing. :D Andrew and I danced for awhile, and he kept getting better and better. Our beat was off from the music by about 10-fold, but thats ok, because I was worse when I started. ;)

I thought it funny when I kept stepping on his feet instead of the opposite. lol

The rest of the night I, Andrew, and Daneil alternated between dancing with each other and dancing with others. I was surprised at the ease of Daneils learning and when I inquired he stated he had dabbled in salsa before.

The rest of the night went like that; loud music, water, hot air, crazy fun dancing, and smiles everywhere. About 11:30 or so we decided to head home. We drove home, and Andrew kept asking me if I knew where I was. Lol, I practially live in Ithaca, how would I not know where I was going? lol We were tempted by a Domino's, but kept going because of the time (he had to work today and I have some things I have to get done).

So I dropped him off and listened to music the entire way home. I was starting to feel the effects of major sleep deprivation so I turned up the music and sang to it the entire way home. :D

Got home, told my mum about the night (it was now about 12:45) and then went to bed. Woke up this mornig not sore at all (it hurt to drive home last night because my muscles were so sore from so much dancing). I only got about 6 and a half hours of sleep but I feel like I got a whole nights worth, I'm thinking deep REM sleep all the way.

Ok, I need to go and set up an appointment with a college and do some paperwork for Rotary. Talk to you all later! :D

-Eva