Hello Tourists,

Welcome back to Amsterdam and enjoy the mindblowing delacacies on offer in our smartshops. I've got no idea why they call it smartshops because most of you visiting those shop, even though you might think you're smart, in fact are getting brainless shortly after visiting such a shop.

On offer this year high quality mushrooms of a special kind. High quality shrooms (paddos in Dutch)

According to Wikipedia:

Psilocybin (also known as psilocybine) is a psychedelic alkaloid of the tryptamine family, found in psilocybin mushrooms. It is present in hundreds of species of fungi, including those of the genus Psilocybe, such as Psilocybe cubensis and Psilocybe semilanceata, but also reportedly isolated from a dozen or so other genera. Psilocybin mushrooms are commonly called "magic mushrooms" or more simply "shrooms". The intensity and duration of recreational and entheogenic use of psilocybin mushrooms vary depending on species of mushrooms, dosage, individual physiology, and set and setting.

And with the intensity and duration of use, lots of you seem to have problems, resulting in (in the last few weeks):

A French girl suffering the effects of gravity (and dying after jumping a building after having some paddo's), a Polish guy trying to jump from (the same) a building wich could be prevented after some serious fighting, injuring several people and, a few days later a fight on a canalboat, again after having some fungus for breakfast. An Australian guy destroying a hotelroom and suffering life-threatening injuries in doing so. An Icelandic guy jumping from out a window (unfortunately the window was on the third floor).

Enjoy your stay in Amsterdam, and if your foolish enough, even enjoy some paddos. But be aware: Psilocibine-mushrooms are a controlled substance when in dried form and quite unpredictable in effect. Fresh fungi are allowed but, please, only use very small amounts, you'll never know the effect and it might take op to a few hours befoure you expirience the first effects. Never, never, never use psilocibine in combination with other drugs or alcohol and just stay away from it whenever you have suffered from -even the lightest form - of depression or psychoses (research shows an over 35% risk of a bad trip or -renewed- psychotic episode)

The score so far:

2004: 55 serious incidents based on the use of psilocibine

2005: 70 incidents

2006: Police and ambulanceservices reported 127 incidents

Update (and keeping the counter running)

Friday the 13th

Today police found a guy from France, sitting naked in his van, covered in blood. He needed to free 'the spirits' after having some magic mushroom for breakfast, so he slaughtered his dog.

And another one

Another Frenchie jumped his hotelroom today (jul 7th), inspired by paddo's. Gravity worked well though.

...and you'll never know what you gonna get"; that's what the mother of Forest Gump said and that's what a homeless person, living at "Schiphol" (Amsterdam international airport) now knows by experience.

Dutch Military and Border -police at Schiphol were surprised by a homeless man , as many homeless people do, living in the departure building, acting somewhat strange last wednesday . Normally homeless people just get out of the way of police-officers patroling the buildings, this man took stand and started laughing hysterically and was also flapping his hands.

Enough to get immideate and undivided attention of the two male officers. The man just kept laughing and fanatically flapping his hands in an apperant attempt to get airborn. He accused the police-officers of wearing weddingdresses (which Dutch Military and Border policemen sometimes, especially at their wedding and only if they are female, do), apparently offending the brave police-officers. Since getting airborn in the departure building of an airport is an illegal act (they have build runways for that purpose) by Dutch law and (because there is a roof present) also considered dangerous, and because offending police-officers in their presence isn't considered to be a wise thing to do either, the homeless man was arrested and taken to the policestation. After a longer period of time in wich the man became more and more anxious it was apparent that he was hallucinating and he was examined by a medic.

After some time (more than one hour) the man became a little bit more relaxed and was finally able to declare what happened to him.

As many homeless people do, the man was searching some litterboxes trying to find something to eat and he got succes. He found a chocelate bar and ate it. He had some of the chocelate and the wrappingpaper still with him. After short research it became obvious that this chocelate bar not only contained cacao but also a larger amount of psylocibine. This kind of chocelate bar is sold in the Netherlands at so called 'smart shops'. This kind of chocelate is a popular item for a specific kind of tourist to be taken home as a souvenir. Sometimes though tourists get a little bit afraid by the Dutch customs controlling on illegal substances and try to dump their trophees,  gotten during the stay in the Netherlands,  at the last moment before the customs checkpoint, being the departure building.  These chocelate bars, for obvious reasons,  don't contain any kind of warning on the wrapping paper. What seemed good luck at first became bad luck for the homeless man in the end. He had to be admitted to a psychiatric ward and is, as far as I know,  still admitted today.

For those interested and concerned:

* Don't be afraid of Dutch Customs Officers, they are not likely to check you on departure for forbidden substances; they, above all, check on explosives and weapons. Depending your destination you should be aware of customs on arrival.

* Eating substances known to have a hallucinating effect on a plane isn't considered a wise thing to do, so if you want to eat a substance containing psylocibine,  do so when you're still in the Netherlands, preferably at the doorsteps of the local psychiatric institution, and don't take it home with you.

* Don't  lose illegal substances. They might be found by children. The dangers for the health of children using controlled substances is apparent. You might consider this before 'losing'.

(Notice: The picture above shows the type of chocelate bar containing psylocibine)

Somehow the review I wrote of the city of Heerlen in the Netherlands after a recent visit has dissapeared from travel.yahoo. It has been online for about half a day. Guess they got some complaints so here the story is :

Neatly seated in the slopy hills of the most southern part of the most southern province of the Netherlands, Heerlen is a city worth driving through and -preferrably- by. And don't bother speedlimits. Every second less to stay in Heerlen is a second won and worth the (possible)penalty for speeding. BTW; for your convenience there is a motorway bypassing the city.

Heerlen, for years now has been famous for it's welcoming committee, awaiting travellers and tourists at Heerlen Central Railway Station. (Nobody knows why this station is called 'Central' because it is the only station in the city and it isn't in the centre of the city either). This welcoming committee consists of unemployed/ selfemployed German, French, Italian and English speaking people welcoming you upon arrival  offering a wide variety of  drugs. In  general they are above all interested in your money (or when in lack of cash, anything else valuable you have available) and will try to keep the drugs for their own use. So, if possible, they would like to get hold of your goods an chattels  without any counter effort. Unless you appreciate a good beating as form of counterfeat.

Heerlen is famous for its lack of historical sense. The complete city centre dates from the early 70's of the last century when the (former) old city centre was almost completely taken down to be replaced by a neo-futuristic and post communistic form of concrete buildings.  An action taken by a group of oppurtunistic (Roman Catholic and thus misguided) politicians thinking that new always is better than old. The only good thing to come from this urge for renewal was the  accidental excavation of an early Roman building, thought to be a Bathinghouse (or Thermae) which was immediatly turned into a museum.  Other historical artefacts are a tree at the marketplace, a church dating pre '30s and a closed down cole mine (not open to visitors).

Insiders consider the local dwellers to be friendly and welcoming. A fact that shouldn't bother you because you're not an insider. You're not likely to come in contact with locals and, whenever you might meet one, you certainly will have a problem to understand them because in the Heerlen area  people speak in a quite unique  way consisting of a mix of glutorial German and Dutch dialects called "Heerlens Plat".  The only way of a slightly succesfull communication is when you use a simple form of sign language. Don't be bothered if denizens run away after a first glimpse of you. They are not used to tourists. They most likely think you're an escaped patient from the local psychiatric institution Welterhof on the outskirts of the city. Those not running from you are likely to try to get hold of you in an effort to bring you (back) to the mental institution (a place anybody voluntary visiting Heerlen should be admitted to anyway).

Still there are some positive things to say about Heerlen.

Heerlen is a cheap town to stay. Hotelrooms are widely available and in most cases rented out by the hour. Special deals can be made by daring tourists willing to stay longer than two hours. Some tourists are known to have stayed longer than 48 hours in Heerlen. They became a very special group of people. When visiting Heerlen by train you will meet them. They form a welcoming committee at the train station.

Heerlen and it's surroundings have been the focus of a longstanding international dispute. For years in a row the Dutch governement put this area on (free) offer to Germany (they refused  keeping in mind the effects of their failed attempts at expantion in the late 30s and early 40s  of last the last century) and subsequently to Belgium in an effort to raise the mean IQ for both countries.  It still puzzles me why the Belgians haven't yet accepted this generous offer. The  current state of affairs gives opportunities to anyone willing to bring out a bid. Just contact the secretary of internal affairs at The Hague.

Ratings:

Overall:           X O O O O

Atmosphere:  X O O O O

Convenience: X O O O O

Safety:              X O O O O

Value:               X X X X X 

They could'nt stop laughing, the two police-officers on highway patrol last night.

Though the bicycle was in perfect state (but stolen) and front and rearlights were burning this man from, and back on his way to, Germany attracted attention because he was riding on the hard shoulder of the A2 motorway, just outside of Amsterdam.

Is riding a bicycle on a motorway in general enough to attract attention from police, what was particullary conspicuous was the fact that this bloke from Germany  wasn't wearing much clothes. No clothes at all to be exact. And the hot weather has left the Netherlands a few days a go so it wasn't especially warm; in fact it was raining.

Need not to say this man, on his way back home, was under influence. I'll bet you know by now what he used.  We've talked to him and will keep him in hospital for a 24 hours observation period. Then give him some clothes. And the advise to take the train.

Don't know how he will pay for it because all his money, creditcards and ID's are stolen.  Possibly that's why he, at his term,  stole that bicycle.

NB1 He was heading for Leverkusen, anybody knows the distance he would have had to travel undetected?

NB2 Are you missing a green colored sportsbicycle and was it stolen from you last night in Amsterdam, you might contact the KLPD. They found one.