So I used to have this obsession for slings.  I've tried a few.  Now I want a EllaRoo Mei Tai. There is this lady that I am planning to trade my KKAFP with.  The picture that she emailed me, you can't tell if the bottom straps are long or short because the way she took the pictures.  I am pretty sure it is just the older EllaRoo Mei Tai.  The only difference is that the material is not organic.  Uhh, anyways, hopefully after I receive my email from V, then I will know if it is indeed the EllaRoo and not some weird random sling.  I wasn't ready to send away my KKAFP, but after E fell out of it and did a face plant into the sand, while I was trying to get B to apologize to D for poring sand on his head, I decided that I want to get rid of it.  I am just afraid to get a crappy trade.  I guess I am cynical like that.  Peace!

I really am tired of having a blog online nowadays.  In fact, I am really getting burnt out of the computer and online stuff in general.  I have been blogging on and off since 2000. Not necessarily to make any friends (I had no expectations), but because it was the cool thing to do.  Plus, I had a url, that wasn't get much usage being a web design portfolio, and the emo guy SB at my work had one.  It had to be cool, if he had one because he was always up on the trendy stuff.  Shit, whatever happened to him?  

Anyways, I am getting away from the subject at hand.  So, I started a lame blog on blogger, but hosted it on my site.  It was fun, but since I hosted Den's class website on it, and he really didn't want me to go bearing my soul that was affiliated to university stuff.  So I stopped.  Then I got pregnant.  Work was boring as hell.  I hated the clients, I hated my co-workers, cuz we were bored as hell.  Anytime, there was a little tiny bit of work to do, we would all jump up and down, like we won the lottery, even if it was to add two pixels to the right on the image.  Then I started commenting on other mom's blogs.  This one mom, pointed me to a messageboard, which was fun and definitely a great way to spend the time away at work.  Other than playing online Sims, that is.  Then I started actually meeting people, which were not my intentions, but I just wanted to get some advice.  

Nowadays, I am a member of more than a dozen messageboards.  Also, I try to keep up on my blogging.  But to tell you the truth, I am not exactly quite sure why I still do it.  Other than to write about my life and such.  I find myself just posting a picture here and there, and maybe some long winded scribble.  I do like writing about updates of my children and such, so that I won't forget about them.  I know if I kept a written journal, I would probably lose it or something.  I'm pretty damn unorganized.  I definitely get burnt out on the messageboards. I find them fun, but they are so time consuming.  I really enjoy the scrapping ones because they really fuel my creativity.  Also, I've feeling at odds with commenting on my once favorite blogs.  I don't know why I am feeling like that.  I do still read them religiously.  Maybe, I am just trying to pull myself away. 

I've also thought to go completely to go private, so no one can see it.   I'm feeling like a fraud, a fake if you will.  I'm usually never controversial on the messageboards and god forbid I write something reactionary here. I tend to keep everything light and shiny, and maybe a bit boring.  But really, I'm really a deep, somewhat negative and cynical, to be honest.  I just don't like showing people that side of me.  I don't like putting up a facade, but I do.  There you have it.  Life ain't perfect.