So, my precious baby girl, now a sweet sixteen year old young lady, has just received big news. She passed the California High School Proficiency Exam, which gives her a diploma from the State of California. She'll finish out this, her junior year, at El Camino High. I'm so proud of her. I want to shout from the mountain tops of her maturity and wisdom for one so young. "Wisdom born of pain" (Helen Reddy) in some cases, but lots of love has been poured into her life from both her father and I and numerous others who really have seen her gem-like qualities and tried to encourage her throughout these years. She is capable of so much. It's thrilling to see her beginning to grow healthy, strong wings.

When I was her same age, I was sitting in the dean's office at my high school having a very serious discussion with Mrs. Jones. "Elizabeth, I don't know how you've managed to get such good grades this year, because you've actually missed more days of school than you've been here, technically I can't pass you onto the next grade. Except for this "0" in Algebra 2, you have all A's." I laughed and told her my math teacher couldn't give me an "F" because I didn't turn in enough work to merit that, so that is why I had a zero. The past year had been extremely trying for me. My mother suffered greatly from her illness, now in it's sixth year, leukemia was becoming the new word they labeled it. We had a full-time preschool child care in our home that was open from 6am-6pm five days a week. I worked, filled in, took care of mom, was her driver to doctor's appointments and did the grocery shopping and bank deposits. In addition to all the difficult tasks, I had a very wonderful steady boyfriend, whom I tried to see as much as possible. The most challenging part was keeping my perfect image in tact. Looking weak, scared or unorganized was unthinkable. I kept it all together...for a long time.
I asked Mrs. Jones (who also happened to be my pastor's wife) what my options were for the next year. I explained that going to school five days a week, six hours a day, was just too much. She told me that I could skip my senior year and go to community college if my mom would allow it. That was the answer I needed. My mother happily signed such a prescription and the following fall, just two months after my 17th birthday, I began my freshman year at Palomar College.

When I look at my daughter, I remember like it was yesterday, my disappointment that my parents didn't make a big deal about my decision and ability to skip a year and begin my adult education. One summer day, my mom did ask why I was looking blue, and I told her the truth. She immediately apologized and told me I was absolutely right, that it was a BIG deal what I was about to do. She called my father in Texas and within a week or two, the three of us were sitting in a nice restaurant, celebrating ME! Mom passed me a small box which contained beautiful large 14k gold hoop earrings. I'm sure I still have the card somewhere. That evening is one of my favorite memories to this day. Their pride, their kudos and time to focus on only me was just what I needed so desperately.

I wonder if my daughter feels that desperation too. She must...doesn't every child? Tears flow from my eyes now as I long to repeat that celebration for her with her father and I surrounding her with love at the same time. He would never allow it to happen. What a loss for her. So I will do what I must - carry on and do what is right. I just have to find the right time, the right place and the right words. She deserves it.