Yahoo! 360° - Mindless thoughts...MJ's

Mindless thoughts...MJ's Full Post View | List View

Mindless musings of a twisted mind... mental diarrhea from a sick and very twisted mind.. Mine of course. please comment

Happy Days...: A visit from our social worker today... a nerve wracking wait to see what we would be asked, what would be suggested, and knowing that this will be the first of 3 YEARS of visits from the social worker. We knew when we signed up for this that this would be the case. Its just nerve wracking wondering if she will inspect the house, check the children for health issues that we may have missed and what questions she would ask. We fortunately, know our social worker, and she is almost like family here. Our visit was peppered with hugs from the little ones, and the eldest calling for "Mama"... all in all the visit went very well, and the social worker had many suggestions to help us. We had breakfast together before the social worker came.. and watched a little television after she left. We spent time together as a family... playing, wrestling, and having fun. Lunch was fun... we had McDonalds... the youngest decided it didnt smell good so he refused to eat. He would gladly chow down on the fries.. but being good and mean parents.. we wouldnt let him have those until he finished hs hamburger. All the kids got Mc Donalds happy meals... no cheese.. the kids dont care for cheese... We got them to eat, gave them cookies for dessert, and then it was time for Papa to cut the grass... Cutting the grass here is a definite undertaking... we planted trees, flowers, shrubs.. all to be avoided when cutting the grass... obstacles in My path of straight, angled lines... as one friend calls the way I cut My lawn... "The Party Cut". It takes forever to cut the grass, and was peppered with breaks because of the heat and humidity... not to mention emptying the damn bag 77 times... well ok... 73 times I exagerate a bit....OK ALREADY!! I EXAGERATE A LOT!!!
I finally got the grass cut.. and went around picking up weeds and such that I had pulled as I went. I was quite dismayed to see that the children have been breaking off, and stomping on all our flowers... fortunately they are all perriennals and will grow back again next year, but I hate that they seem to destroy many things without any remorse. They dont know that these are not weeds, and they can see the flowers... I havent a clue why they walk through flower beds like this...
When I finished cutting the grass.. it only took 37 hours... nahh it took about 2 hours, the eldest daughter wanted to swim... but since the pool was very crowded, we decided it wasnt a good time to take them there... too much sensory overload. Again... a month with limited visitors... and few as possible to let them know us, bond with us, and not get confused. Of course the sister in law makes her presence known here almost every day.... she is in our old house, and will be there for at least a month. She picked this month to come.. knowing damn well we were going to be bringing home these children, and the rules about visitors. She calls wanting to use our computers, and internet... something I am NOT comfortable with.. this is MY computer in MY office... My personal MAN CAVE... and she feels she needs to check her emails etc... of course when she does this... she cant leave her two children at the house.. God forbid you leave a 15 and 13 year old alone for about an hour.... so she brings them with... this causes major confusion... and of course the kids arent bonding with the PARENTS... they are too busy playing with the sister in law, and her kids.... Again.. confusion...
Tomorrow is the 4th of July... DUH... you already knew that... and the sister in law.. (if I didnt mention... its the wifes sister) the sister in law... pretty much invited herself and kids over for the fourth... we were to have only 2 people over... but now.. its a damn party... something we didnt want to have... but.. there will be no alcohol.. and Im sure this will thrill the sister in law no end. She said that she bought all sorts of stuff to cook, and made potato salad etc... and this was her "contribution" to the party.... we arent having a party... but she invited herself and her kids...
I am going to try My best to be nice... she is family after all... and I need to be nice....
but.. if anything goes wrong and she upsets the children, or worse yet.. the wife... she will have to go back to her home. I am not anticipating problems.. but with her.. one never knows.
As for the kids... we couldnt take them to the pool... so I did the next best thing... and I have My parents to thank for this idea... it came from My childhood....
We put on the sprinkler!!! The two daughters ran right up to it and got soaked.. clothes and all... we had to convince them to put on bathing suits to play in the sprinklers! Before we knew it.. all three were running, laughing and getting completely soaked... and cooled off in the sprinkler.
All the while we were watching them play, the wife went to her car and got out the two new soccer balls I purchased a few days prior.... they were a BIG hit... the eldest daughter finally was interacting with Me! We played catch for what seemed like a couple hours... making up games as we went. Finally dinner time came.. and we fed them chicken nuggets... of course the youngest one didnt like them, and spit it out immediately. We all but had to force feed the kid... until the wife gave him some honey to try... he LOVED the honey, and proceeded to gobble up all his chicken nuggets.... Meanwhile... My eldest daughter.. discovered My temporary denture... I have that so there is a tooth in front while the dentist finishes the implant procedure... she has delighted in wanting to see the hole from the missing tooth, and showing Me her missing tooth too. She would come up to Me and ask Me to open My mouth so she could see... once she did that and stuffed a napkin in My mouth... I had to laugh... that was until the younger daughter tried to mimic the older one.. but punched Me in the mouth instead. The laughter turned to fear quickly, but I did My best to difuse the situation. We quickly turned it around and everything was fine.. dont want to scare the kids, want them to feel safe and loved... and that is what we are striving for. Today seemed to be a break through day... but I know its only one day... there will be more meltdowns, more tantrums, and more pushing to see how far we will allow them to go. We have survived a week today.... and they are all sleeping soundly... I couldnt be happier, knowing that today... I had a positive day with My kids... tomorrow will be a new day again... and Sunday.. I will have at least 2 of them alone with Me as the wife goes to work. We are getting into a routine... and I think the children are responding to it quite well.. they need structure as much as they need love and attention.... we have all of that and more for them....
and a lifetime to share it....
its late... I should go....
thanks for tuning into My ramblings...

peace

MJ

Friday July 3, 2009 - 10:57pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 1 Comment
Meltdown.....: Its the eve of a holiday weekend... we had dinner together.. no pudding thankfully, Ive had My fill for the week. The younger two children saw Me enter the house and ran... RAN to greet Me... almost knocking Me off My feet. I remember greeting My father like that when he would come home from work, and here it is a case of DejaVu with My own children. I made it into the house safely, and helped My wife prepare dinner. It was simple.. since the children are not used to the foods we serve here, we played it safe and made sandwiches with salami, some cucumbers, and fruit. They seemed to enjoy it, so we will probably try it again, but adding other types of meats to see how they react. They are very picky eaters. At least we are getting them to eat. They seem to enjoy oranges, apples and bananas best. We played a bit, then sat down for another Disney movie. While the kids watched "The Parent Trap" My wife went off to the store to purchase another 43,000 pounds of supplies for the coming week. I am beginning to wonder where these groceries are going... sure as hell Im not eating them! Of course the first place she has to visit is the photo shop in WalMart... the adoption agency needs 4 sets of 10 photos of us, and us with the kids.... so that took forever. All the while the younger two are getting along with Me... for the most part. The young boy seems to like to get violent when he gets tired.. the more tired he is, the more harsh his actions. He began headbutting, bending My fingers, and twisting skin, My nose, ears, and whatever he could get his hands on... thinking it was a game. I finally had to get very stern with him and tell him if he continued... he was going to get a spanking... I hate having to resort to such measures, but its what was used in the orphanage, and seeing as how he is inflicting pain... it almost seems the only response he will understand at times. I refrained from spanking, choosing instead to grab him and hold him tight so he couldnt head butt, kick, pinch or twist things... he didnt like that one bit... oh well I said.. life is full of disappointments.. better get used to it. If he cant play nice while 2 or 3 feet away from Me... he will have to be held so he can play nice 2 to 3 inches away from Me.
It finally got to be his bed time.. he was lying on the couch falling asleep, so I woke him gently, and took him to the stairs. He is big enough to run up and down those stairs 11 million times a day, so I let him walk... he was NOT happy. He cried all the way to his room, during My helping him change for bed, and even when I put the covers on him. Still... inspite the tears, and screaming... I held him, kissed him goodnight, and told him over and over that I love him.... I read him a book as he fell fast asleep.
I went downstairs.. only to find the oldest girl sobbing. I think Parent Trap was the wrong choice of movies for them. A child that has been taken from her home, and put into an orphanage, then taken from those surroundings and moved to another country... then watching a movie about twin girls who work together to get their divorced parents back together successfully.... not a good movie... I think she wishes her parents had gotten back together... but since her father left the family, and her mother is a raging alcoholic... that isnt about to happen. Besides.. the state took the children from the home because of the mothers neglect... hopefully in time... and I mean LOTS of time.. I know it wont happen over night, or over days... that she will come to realize that I do love her dearly. When I tried to console her, to talk to her, to even just touch her shoulder... she pulled away from Me.. going as far as to move to the opposite side of the couch as far from Me as possible. Nothing I say, nothing I do, nothing at all... will help Me to get her to understand. I sent her younger sister to bed when she began to fall asleep on the couch also. For about 40 or so minutes.. it was the oldest girl and Me.. watching again... cinderella..... she got up, went upstairs and climbed into bed. I followed her, gave her time to change in private, and crawl into bed... but again.. the cold shoulder... I could feel the ice.... she will have nothing to do with Me.
Truthfully I wish I could find whom ever it was that caused this to be. I am convinced that there is some male in her past who did her harm. If I knew that to be fact, and knew who it was... Im pretty sure I would be finding this person....and the end result would NOT be pretty.. although it may have made the news... Its not that Im upset because MY experience with this girl being My daughter is tainted... its because the daughter is hurting.... I cant understand what she is saying, she doesnt understand Me.... I know to give her time and she will eventually learn the language... but for now, what I feel is a critical time... our communications are failing miserably. I feel horrible at this point that I can hug, and kiss the younger two.. but the older one... will have nothing to do with even a hug when I come home from work, or a kiss goodnight on the cheek. If anyone needs love and attention right now.. its the oldest child. Its quite the painful and awkward position to be in...
Tomorrow early morning the social worker from the adoption agency will be here to see how we interact with the children. I dont know what she will think of the oldest being so cold to Me... she has (the oldest child) told My wife that she loves her very much... she gives Me... a thumbs down...
She wants Me to shave My beard.. but as I accept her as she is... so must she accept Me. I would not ask her to cut and color her hair... she has no right or reason to ask Me to shave My beard.... now if I could just relate that to her... we might just have the beginning of a conversation...
Im sure we will have many in the coming months.... and years.... I am grateful that she is attached so quickly to My wife... that way she has someone she can relate to in some way...
Im just the dad right now... in a holding pattern of uncertainty.... waiting for a chance to be a father to this beautiful and scared child....

Wish Me luck....

peace

MJ

Thursday July 2, 2009 - 10:57pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 3 Comments
Ill Give Ya Attitude....: I hate attitude... I hate it when I get it from an adult.. even more so when I get it from a child... Now Im officially able to add a new category to this... attitude from a child that doesnt speak ENGLISH!!!
Im guessing the honeymoon is over... My youngest daughter gets an attitude about as often as I get brain farts.... and damn thats a LOT! Funny thing is... she sits there spouting off at Me, My wife, or the young son... and only the three children know what is being said. Im sure this frustrates the younger daughter to no end. I know its beginning to frustrate Me too... when I tell her she has had her say... she just keeps on rambling like My mother!! Yep mom rambles too... mostly things she's told Me a thousand times already, but for Me.. its always new... that way mom doesnt feel like she's losing her memory... CAUSE SHE IS!!! Poor child of Mine though... she wants to be understood, and I want to understand her too... but for that matter, I want a million dollars, a pony, a dog that doesnt shed, poop, eat, pee, run away, and most of all... doesnt BARK.... looks like for now.. neither of us will be getting our wish.
The elder daughter has decided that I need to shave My beard into a goatee.... yea right... thats gonna happen... perhaps when pigs fly out My ass... She has made it perfectly clear she doesnt care for the beard at ALL. She has been pretty much a mommas girl, and has little to do with Me. Thats ok though... I force Myself on her....lol... I make her talk to Me.... I make her look at Me... even if it requres a "Manly" burp... she at least looks.... she is very comfortable with My wife.. and has told her so through a contact we made through of all things... the dentist office! He has a patient who is a Russian immigrant, and has an 11 year old daughter! The daughter can speak Russian and English. We had our daughter talk to the mom of the other girl... our daughter told the other mom to tell My wife she loves her very much... it melted My wifes heart. And of course I had to clean it up... a Mans work is never done...
My older daughter is coming around slowly with Me. I have a feeling she has had a bad experience with someone who has facial hair. I even trimmed My beard... it needed it any way... but that wouldnt suffice... she wants to see Me in a goatee... wife thinks its not so bad an idea.. but I said... if I shave My head perhaps I would wear a goatee... but by no other means....
Wifey and I have been going round and round about Me shaving My head... hell Im almost bald as is... why not just finish what Mother Nature is stalling on? Wife wants the male pattern bald spot.. i want cue ball.... neither will give in... after all.. ITS MY HEAD!!!
I was pleased to see the kids eating better today too... we made... we what? the WIFE made polish sausage and sides for everyone... the kids like raw cabbage... hmmm pass the beano please? I got regular salad... and had some left overs... the oldest daughter has discovered the left over ham in the fridge and started on that... Im glad she feels comfy with raiding the fridge... Im sure in the orphanage they werent allowed near one.
For dessert... we had pudding cups.... this is where it gets funny.... I rarely eat dessert...its just less room for dinner eh? None of the kids wanted to finish their pudding cups... and the older daughter thought it would be good to give hers to Me. I politely refused it, saying it was for her... but she insisted... insisted to the point that she got up and FED IT TO ME!!! I was laughing pretty hard, as was the wife... then the two younger ones began feeding Me THEIR pudding as well.... at times, I had 2 spoons in My mouth and was unable to eat the pudding off either one! They all made darn sure that I ate all the pudding in the cup... and that they also dropped it on My shirt.... no big deal... its a work uniform... let THEM clean it!! I finally got away from the table, and got to the couch where I was mauled by the younger two... the older one is still a bit unsure about Me.. but I think Im winning her over. She came into My office, and unfortunately discovered some toys that a friend had purchased... one of which was a Barbie doll... she already has 2.... she has no need for a third. I kept trying to get her out of My office but she wanted that doll... I finally said no loud enough that she knew I meant business... but kept trying to get back into My office.... she also got to play with one of My guitars... with My supervision of course... when she reached for My 1957 Les Paul Gold Top.. I all but screamed.... I told her that it was worth a LOT of money.. even though its a recent reissue of said guitar.. its made to the exact same specs as the original....in any case.. its very expensive....
The older daughter is enjoying her Russian CD, and dances when we put it on the stereo for her... the younger daughter seems to be following in the older ones foot steps in that she thinks she too is the mom.... and bosses the young son around... that all will change in time, and we are trying hard to nip it in the bud....
We are down to 41,000 gallons of milk a week now.... the kids are getting more water... and they LOVE milk... well so do I... but thats besides the point...
Well.. they are all finally in bed... well duh!! thats why Im able to write this!!! Soon it will be My turn to hit the showers, get in bed, and pray I get up before the alarm wakes the little guy....
I soooooo want to sleep in past the crack of Oh Dark Thirty..... but I guess it will have to wait another 20 or so years....

ok... off to read emails

peace

thanks for stopping in and keeping Me sane.......bpbpbpbpbpbbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbppbbpb

MJ

Wednesday July 1, 2009 - 09:22pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 3 Comments
Going Fast...: GET IT NOW... ITS GOING FAST!!! ONLY A FEW LEFT!!! GET YOURS NOW!!! I SWEAR... that is what Im hearing in the dairy aisle at the local grocery store.... I had no idea we would be going through more than one gallon of milk a DAY!!! We are going through milk faster than all the dairy cows in Illinois and parts of Iowa, and Indiana can produce it... I SWEAR!!! They dont like cheese, so at least Wisconsin is safe... but the rest... LOOK OUT!!! The poor wife is exhausted with all that she has to do with these young ones... today she got in touch with a family whose mother is Russian... does that sound right? The mother (wife) is Russian, not HER mother.... well of course her mother is Russian too... DUH!!! Well anyway... the woman My wife talked to... talked to our oldest daughter.... it still feels weird saying I have a daughter... well Im digressing again... wondering where THAT has been eh? The daughter got to talk to the Russian mom... no not My daughters Russian mom.. thats not gonna happen... but to the family we know here where the mom.. the wife mom, not the wife's mom... damn this is getting confusing.... ok.. My older daughter talked to the mom of the russian family... and was able to get some things translated. She is sad that she cant have a cell phone of her own.... (who the HELL is she gonna call... she doesnt know any one here!!), but best part of the conversation came when My daughter told the woman... she loves mama very much. When the wife heard the translation... our daughter asked the woman to tell her, the wife was almost in tears.
The adoption agency is again asking for photos....Im thinking... WHAT?? Ya making a scrapbook of your handywork?? They want 4 sets of 10 photos, including one of the five of us... remember? three new kids... 2 parents... DO THE MATH!! I have no idea why on earth they need so many photos... maybe theyre making a photo album for someone who cant adopt, and telling them they can pretend these children are theirs.. and the photos of My wife and Me... just pretend they are us.... nahhh.. I truly have no clue why so many photos.... but we will provide...
With the visiting sister in town, the company is never ending. We were told to not have people over, so that these children would bond with US... with all this family around coming and going... its getting hard to get the children to understand that this is NOT a normal day here... and they wont be staying here (sister and her kids) forever. The children love playing with My wifes sister and her kids, but again... its US theyre supposed to be bonding with NOT STRANGERS!!!
No Im not jealous... Im concerned that we have not followed the rules set down. I know they arent set in stone, but we want this to be a good and healthy transisition. We want these children to recognize us as their parents, the ones they should go to in times of trouble, pain, sorrow, and wen they need anything. I know its early... but I truly want this to work for the best.
Finally, after the sister left, the older child pulled out an old Yahama keyboard that we saved from going in the garbage. It takes 6 D batteries.. and we searched... and searched.. until finally I found some! The older daughter is taking very well to My wife, but still is very cold to Me. She pushes Me away often, and prefers to be with the wife... I understand, and know it will take time.. God only knows what men might have done to scare her when she was small. With the keyboard however, she opened up to Me just a little. I was able to show her that I can in fact play a couple songs still... even though I havent played piano since about the age of 8. I am hoping that this short time we spent together as just the two of us... will help break down barriers she has built. I am thrilled that she is so happy with the wife... and she doesnt mind My cooking either! I made dinner tonight... we were at a loss for what to make.. so we made pancakes! With some raspberry pie filling for a topping, they enjoyed it greatly. Little by little we are learning the foods they like... they like cabbage.... RAW.... we are learing...
My wife had to go to WalMart to get of all things.... go figure... MILK!!! and pull ups for night time... the little guy sleeps soo deep.. he has wet his bed a few times already. So Pull Ups, Milk, Milk Milk Milk Milk Milk Milk Milk Milk Milk.... think thats enough? I need a bigger fridge!!! My wife suggested we just get a dairy cow... I think more like a HERD!!! At this rate... I could start My own dairy farm! Hell.. Im already out in the country!!! But no dairy cows for Me... they cant seem to put the milk in those nice plastic containters... and for that matter... how the HELL would they put the caps on??
I am still glad I did what we did... and took in these kids.... they are a delight, and will in time learn the rules... they are young, moldable, and loving.... and Im their proud Papa...

Ok... Im doing nothing but talking about kids....

I KNEW this would happen... get a new toy etc....

signing off before I fall off....

peace

MJ

Tuesday June 30, 2009 - 09:52pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 2 Comments
Routines???......: We are trying to establish a routine.... ANY ROUTINE!!! We have established that no matter how quiet I am... the kids will hear Me and wake up. It happened this morning again... but we shall get a routine down where the kids remain IN BED!!! The young boy... My now youngest son.. was up at 430 am.... I usually get up at 445... I walked into his room and he was wide awake... I took him to the bathroom.. another habit I REALLY want to create... and lo and behold... he didnt wet his bed!!
Unfortunately... all that commotion woke the two girls... and My poor wife...
I cant imagine what the weekend will be like when I have to stay home with them all alone. Two of them want to run, play, and jump... unfortunately.. they want to run... in opposite directions.... play with things like the roto tiller and the chop saw in the garage... and they want to jump.. off furniture onto DAD..... Im thinking I will take them to the park and really wear them out... hopefully before they wear ME out.
The wifes sister came over for some needed rest. No the sister didnt need the rest, the wife did... the sister loaded the dishwasher, and cleaned off the counter... of course this left the CAT LITTER for ME to do... Hell.. I could have done the dishes... let HER do the cat litter!!! Nope... I had to do the cat litter... and we all know how deadly that can be for a transplant patient.... public service announcement here.... if you have had a transplant, and are immunosupressant drugs.. DO NOT CHANGE CAT LITTER.... GET RID OF THE DAMN CAT!!! I have to wear at minimum... latex gloves, and a dust mask. I also had to pick up the cat logs where they decided not to go in the boxes any more because they stunk.... Hell... they need to learn to go in the toliet... I did.. they can too...
We sat through 3 movies again tonight.... its good that they are enjoying the Disney movies... the wife has almost every one ever sold. The kids can get a hold of the langage somewhat, and its familiar to them from the orphange with Russian voices.
It was battle time when they decided to gang up on the parents. Kate (cot-cha) was trying to tickle My all too ticklish wife, and the other two ganged up on Me.... needless to say... I am exhausted.
We are slowly getting menu ideas for them... they love yogurt, and today they devoured eggo waffles for breakfast.. along with fruit, and the yougurt. I am looking into buying a waffle maker hoping to find the type My mother had when I was a child... it had cast iron plates... it was very old, and made wonderful waffles... Im going to scour Ebay for this... if not I will buy a brand new one.
I miss making waffles... the smell, the anticipaton... making waffle and ice cream sandwiches... damn they were good! I cant wait to introduce the children to those treats... but for now.. getting them to eat normal american type food has been a challenge. Hunger will increase what they will eat Im sure. We had ham on the bone tonight for dinner. Along with corn, and scalloped potatoes, it was a nice meal. The elder daughter smells food before trying it... the nose is not always the best judge of a foods taste... she decided she didnt like it without actually trying any.... she will learn soon enough... 2 choices for any meal... either Take it... or Leave it... those are the choices. We didnt give them dessert because none of them finished the very small plates they had for dinner.... we did give them their choice of fruits though... fruit is always welcome.
I am amazed at how quickly we are going through milk!!! a gallon a day so far. But it will help their growth, and bone health so Im all for it. We got them appointments with the doctor, and dentist, as the older girl has a sore tooth... dental care was not a top priority in the orphanage... and the young son has a couple broken teeth from grinding his teeth in his sleep. This may have to be repaired.. not sure if they are permanent teeth or not.
This is MY time... My wind down time.. I did My duties around the house, picked up things, and help straighten out things here. Now its My time to look at mail, answer PM's, and relax... I have been going to bed a little earlier lately... because of the added fatigue... I find My lunch time nap far more necessary now than before... Im sure this will ease off in a couple months...
I love these children with all My heart.... I didnt realize how quickly you can fall in love with a child... especially one that is not your natural child by birth, but it happened. I delight in making them smile, and love when they greet Me at the door. Today they were waiting for Me on the porch and Sasha came running to Me with his arms stretched wide... This was followed by Tasha... and Kate was riding her bike. Kate will be the hard one to win over.. but I think when she realizes that her brother and sister are deeply loved... she will too come around. Well... its time to close this and play the guitar for a bit...

Thanks for hanging out with Me and My brood....

peace

MJ

Monday June 29, 2009 - 09:20pm (CDT) Permanent Link | 2 Comments

Add Mindless thoughts...MJ's to your personalized My Yahoo! page:

About My Yahoo! & RSS

MJ

Total Page Views

Mindless thoughts...MJ's Full Post View | List View

HIGHLIGHTED POSTS

MJ

Total Page Views

Tag Cloud

Mindless thoughts...MJ's Full Post View | List View

HIGHLIGHTED POSTS