Happy New Year!

I meant to blog yesterday and just didn't get to it. Last night was the anniversary of when I met my husband. After much internet communication and many telephone conversations (and flowers sent to my office on my b-day), I was finally talked into meeting in person.

Yes, that's right. I met my husband on the internet. Eharmony to be exact. Anyways, back to my story...

So, it was late. Well, according to normal people standards. I'd been working nights so it wasn't so late feeling to me. After hours of conversation, suggestion from him, and hesitation from me, at 11 pm I impulsively decided to tell Nick to drive all the way up to meet me. All the way up because I was living in Olympia and he was living in Salem.

And so he did. We talked on the phone most of the way, except for when he'd lose signal in various little bits of nowhere tract out in BFE Washington. We talked while I cleaned house. We talked his whole drive up. He finally arrived at 3 am on New Year's Eve Day.

The moment he stepped out of his car, it was love at first sight. I knew at 3 am on New Year's Eve Day that he was my husband and this was meant to be. That moment is so etched into my memory. It steadies my course when times get hard. It fills me with delight when life seems easy.

So this year we celebrated the Anniversary of our meeting by staying in with the kids, eating fabulous cake from Roth's, a local grocery chain, regaling the kids with how we met, drank some sparkling cider and watched Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. And Nick bought me flowers, spicy smelling hot pink roses. They're beside my bed where I can see them when I fall asleep and when I wake.

For the past month, I've had a particular song stuck in my head when I wake up next to my husband in the morning. I'll post it here for him and share it with all of you.

Sammy Kershaw - Love Of My Life lyrics

You are the love of my life
And you are the reason I'm alive
And baby, baby, baby
When I think of how you saved me
I go crazy
I've never known love like this
And it fills me with a new tenderness
And I know, I know, I know
You're in my heart, you're in my soul
You're all I can't resist
And I need to tell you
The first time I held you
I knew you are the love of my life
I spent a lifetime waiting
Always hesitating until you
I was lost so deep inside my shell
'Til you came and saved me from myself
Now all I really know
Is I need you
And you are the love of my life
All the joy and tears that I cry
And baby, baby, baby
You don't have to say a word
I see it in your eyes
As we stand together
I promise forever
'Til the day that I die
You are the love of my life
I spent a lifetime waiting
Always hesitating until you
I was lost so deep inside my shell
'Til you came and saved me from myself
Now all I really know
Is I need you
And you are the love of my life
All the joy and tears that I cry
And baby, baby, baby
You don't have to say a word
I see it in your eyes


It's been tough this past year, Baby. But I love you more and more as the days go by.

Hope you readers out there in Blog-Land have a Happy New Year!

As I was preparing to make coffee this morning, something written on the new bag of coffee jumped out at me. Right there facing me was, "Some relationships are meant to happen". I paused and wondered if you knowingly had placed the coffee that way or if Paul Newman had just placed the saying on the bag of coffee to remind me of what's most important in life. It almost seemed too strategically placed so that the message would come through loud and clear.

I've been reflecting on those words all day. "Some relationships are meant to happen". I've thought in response, "Yes, and some days are worth more than others- today is one of them". And then I muse over the past year...

I believe that this relationship was meant to happen. It's so easy to get weighted down by all the negative things that have happened to us over the year. It's sometimes easier to assume the other is unhappy, that it's our fault and that life sucks. Yet, I think we've both forgotten our beginnings and how we were brought together.

I love you, Nicholas. I've loved you through the fun times and the not so fun times. I get cheesy love songs stuck in my head when you're around, no matter how hard life might seem at the time. Every time I think of you, my heart overflows with love. Just the simple phrase, "my husband" takes my breath away. You are always the first thought in my morning and the last one at night. I've cooked more meatloaf in the last year just for you than I have in total for the last 10. I've loved you in sickness and in health and we're so young yet. I've never stopped loving you, not even for a split second. And I just can't imagine life without you.

So, if some relationships are meant to be, I fully believe this is one of them. I've always believed we were meant to be. I love you, Nick. I love you and only you, with all my heart.

Oh, and Paul Newman? Thanks for the reminder.

As I gazed upon Freya in the morning light, I saw the first real traces of age upon her. Her beautiful white muzzle is no longer pristine. She has gone gray on me with the gray sneaking up in the middle of the night. My beautiful Freya! My heart dog, protectress and guardian grows old. I can no longer deny it. At almost 5 1/2 yrs old, her giant breed status puts her in the same category as a late 50-something human.

I also can no longer deny her wolf-dog status. I shaved her this summer. It was over 4 hours of misery and contortion for both of us. Poor girl was so miserable in the heat here! And, viola! Once shaved, she resembled an Alaskan Wolf right down to her paws. No wonder she requires other dogs to have perfect doggie etiquette! And no wonder she is now aging right before my eyes.

Freya isn't as spry as she used to be. I often wonder just how many more snows we'll share before she leaves me for the Rainbow Bridge. In the mean time, I hope she'll enjoy many more naps under my desk at my feet and sneakily continue to leave long, white dog hairs all over my husband's side of the bed.

I love you, my Freya girl!

It's been a long year and I've been gone for a long time. Instead of giving excuses (no matter how valid) or a really long story, I'll recap the year for you in two categories. This way, ya'll be able to see what's been up here in wet, chilly Oregon since I last blogged and hopefully understand my extended absence.

Good Things:

I got engaged
I moved to Oregon to be with my fiance
I received Taz, my pony, as an engagement present when diamonds stressed me out
It snowed a couple weeks after I moved, so I missed Alaska a little less
My husband and I got married in March
I gained another daughter, my step daughter
I went to Cannon Beach, Cape Kawanda and Tillamook (where we toured the cheese factory)
I met my in-laws
I travelled to Boise, ID twice (!)- the farthest east I have ever been
I got to go on a shopping spree both times I was in Boise
I played with fireworks for the first time over 4th of July
I got a new truck and got rid of my non-descript, very forgettable car (even I didn't notice it)
My brother and sister in law adopted, so I got to be an auntie again
An old friend found me on the internet after years of estrangement
Riley and Sarah started 1st grade, Kat started middle school (they grow up so fast)
We spent Thanksgiving with my family and we'll be having an intimate Christmas here at home
We're making plans to move out of state and find new adventures
And after months of believing my husband has MS, the test results are negative

And the not so good things:

My husband and I lost a baby and almost each other
I broke my foot on Easter
My husband had two major medical emergencies and "tried" to die on me twice, just 6 months apart (he's promised to not do that for another 30 yrs)
I spent Mother's Day nursing Taz after he tried to jump a gate and tore up his knees while Nick worked over 120 hrs that week. He didn't make it home on Mother's Day.
My dog had her leg amputated after being shot at while in my fenced yard
Riley has had a difficult time in school and was recently diagnosed as ADHD and likely bipolar as well
Contagious pneumonia from mid-September until the end of November shared by my son, my husband, my doctor and myself. Oh yes! I gave my doctor pneumonia! And got reported to the CDC! Yay Me!
My husband's MRI for MS came up negative, but now it's speculated that he may have the same rare blood disease that author Robert Jordan died of this fall.
Also, my husband got laid off from work 3 weeks before Xmas, after knocking himself out repeatedly for his company. They even let him work 3 days beyond the date he was laid off without telling him so he could make them look good. Worse, he's salaried so there really wasn't any compensation for that.
My arthritis and fibromyalgia have been flaring hard this fall. Hard enough that I went to see the Rheumatologist, told that my long term inflammation levels have almost doubled in the last two months and they can't tell me why.
Oh, and I got bit by a spider this week and spent a couple days hallucinating, slightly feverish and believing I was crazy. I found the bite site last night. More "Yay Me!"

Honestly, life hasn't been much fun since mid-September here at my house. There has been enough illness to make or break a couple. I haven't had the energy to write in so long. Now that I do, I will be back as often as life will let me. After all, I may have some anecdotes to regale you with and stories to tell to elaborate on the above!