Weather in New England is notoriously bad, and many New Englanders take pride in boasting about the foulest weather they've been through. I have to say though, 2009 is seriously dragging me down.

It wasn't enough that we had to break records for snow and cold this winter. We barely had a spring to speak of. Now we seem to be stuck in an interminable cycle of cold and rain. The local paper said it well a few days ago: "So far, June has been a really nice March." It's the 24th of June, and we have had 22 days so far this month with measurable rainfall. Average temperatures have been running in the low 60s. Our June weather has been looking and feeling more like late March/early April.

Since January, I've been warning my friends in warm climates that they may very well open the door one day and find me on their doorstep, suitcase in hand. Here it is, almost the end of June, and I'm still making that threat. Heck, I've even started looking at airfares.

I am SO ready for summer.

This week I had a doozy of a migraine, I think one of the worst I have ever had. I woke up on Tuesday with it, had it kind of beaten but not all the way gone on Wednesday, and managed to get rid of it by Thursday morning. Mostly. It kind of hung there, holding on with it's little claws and not wanting to give up all the way, so that I kept having to take my medication every now and then just to keep it from returning. Oh, and no peanuts, cheese, or alcohol allowed either.

Anyway... during and after a migraine, I always have a feeling of fogginess. I have trouble concentrating (ooh, look, shiny!), and have a terrible time with language processing. This time was no exception. I'm glad I took good notes in my meeting on Tuesday and another on Wednesday, because while I do remember being present for them, I have no recollection of what was discussed in either meeting. I also don't remember driving home on Tuesday or Wednesday. (Before anyone reading this panics, yes, these are just migraines, and yes, my neurologist and I have fully discussed all of my symptoms to be sure there's not something bigger being overlooked or ignored.) The fogginess and processing problems seemed exceptionally bad and long-lasting with this migraine, which isn't surprising considering its severity.

This morning I was talking to a friend and mentioned the crazy dreams I'd been having over the last few days. Later when I was doing my workout, I was mentally reviewing the week, and I kind of had an epiphany... my higher processing functions were definitely impaired from the migraine, but my primal lizard brain seemed to be working overtime. My dreams were all about basic functions: sex, food, fear, flight, and grief. Some were good dreams, others were seriously NOT good dreams, but they all were things dredged up from my deep subconscious. Two in particular upset me greatly, but I understand what's behind them and am dealing with that. It's almost like the part of my brain that functions the deepest (and maybe is handling some things I'm preferring to ignore most of the time) was the only part that survived the migraine.

I wonder what Dr. J will think about that at our next neurology follow up.

Last night we attended the Mansfield tour stop of NIN/JA 2009, the tour of Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction. The tickets were a gift from dh for our wedding anniversary (the other half of the gift being tickets to see U2 in September at Gillette Stadium). At the risk of showing my age, I will confess that we have seen both of these bands before, in 1991 during the first Lollapalooza tour.

I had never heard of the opening act, called the Street Sweeper Social Club. This band wasn't really my thing, but they were very talented, and put on a good show. They were a strong kickoff to the night.

Promptly at 7:45, Nine Inch Nails took the stage. To start, Trent Reznor looks fantastic, no longer heroin-chic wiry and long-haired, but all buzz-cut and buff! His stage presence is amazing, as is his energy. The backup band was outstanding, handling the relentless steamroller of March of the Pigs as deftly as the syncopation and signature changes of The Becoming. NIN played nonstop until 9:20, with a set that built in energy until the amazing encore of Head Like a Hole and Hurt. Reznor's vocals have gotten better over the years and I'm continually amazed at the control he has over his voice, from the feral shrieking on Burn, to the whisper-singing pain on Hurt, to the smooth dripping malice of Piggy. They were so unbelievable, I didn't want the set to end, but needed to rest and catch my breath (and stop sweating from dancing so hard) when they finished. The concert could have ended there and I would have felt like I got my money's worth. Probably one of the best stage shows I've ever seen, using great lighting and some fog machines, but thankfully none of the imagery from their videos (although Trent did lightly mime some of the more memorable parts in a few places, for those who were watching closely enough to notice).

Ten minutes later, Jane's Addiction took the stage, appearing with the original lineup that we saw in 1991. They opened with Three Days, probably my favorite of their entire catalog. Musically speaking, the band itself played as tightly as they always have. Unfortunately, Perry Farrell seems to have really gotten in touch with his inner diva, and while he still can rock his signature adolescent-sounding tenor (even at 50!), he seemed to put more energy into prancing and preening his gold-lame-jumpsuited self around than into singing. He was good, but not great. The rest, though, rocked the stage. Dave Navarro still looks like a million bucks (although I don't think I'd want to do any more than look and swoon, lord only knows where that man has been), and plays guitar like a fiend. Eric Avery works the bass like it's a part of his body, driving the structure of so many of their songs, especially Been Caught Stealing. And Stephen Perkins can finesse the drums in ways I've never heard... his performance on both Three Days and Jane Says were nothing short of genius. The acoustic guitar and steel drum encore of Jane Says was definitely a highlight of the show for me, as well as a great performance of Stop! JA's set was smartly laid out, but I was suprised at how little of a stage show they had. At Lollapalooza, there was a lot going on onstage during their set, including the trio of leather-thonged women on the rocking bench during Nothing's Shocking. This tour, they used a hanging scrim with projected video during the opening of Three Days, and for the duration of Nothing's Shocking, but that was it, other than an elaborate stage backdrop.

All in all, it was an awesome show, one of the best concerts I've ever spent money on. Farrell's reaction when some moron on the crowd threw a bottle cap at him (bouncing it off his forehead, so at least the moron had good aim) was priceless: he gave him the hairy eyeball but finished the song without missing a beat. Then promptly berated and belittled the guy, including telling him to "stop f---ing throwing s--t at me" and telling him to leave because he was "busy entertaining 10,000 people" and didn't have time "for one idiot to ruin it for everyone else". After grabbing a quick drink from the back of the stage, he added "and Dave says don't f---ing throw s--t at him, either".

The one downside: I'm starting to suspect I shouldn't rock out quite so hard any more, at my age. My bad knee is killing me today.

When it comes to personal safety and security, I tend to have a pretty good balance between caution and paranoia, or so I thought. I tend to be especially cautious when it comes to data security, which is why on my open-to-anybody blog, my real name is not visible, and my family and friends are never referred to by identifiable names. I use the strictest security parameters on all my online accounts, and still refrain from doing certain things online or over the phone because I don't trust the data to be safe.

So it was kind of a boot to the head as I was exercising the other day, that my workout routine is something of a stalker's delight... although I vary the distance by adding or subtracting certain loops, I walk generally the same route every time, in the same direction. I usually walk around the same time of day. Because I don't invest a lot in workout gear but like comfort when I walk, I tend to wash and wear the same few highly visible (for traffic safety, you know) outfits over and over and over. I need my music to help me keep my pace so my iPod is kept at a pretty decent volume. I do pay attention to people and cars around me, but probably not as much attention as I should. And when people get lost in the neighborhood and stop me for directions, I do help them (although I don't get within reach of the car, as we tell our children when teaching about "stranger danger").

Now, I don't live in a high-crime area, so I'm not considering arming myself or anything, but maybe I should consider at least carrying my cell phone with me...