Going against peace and rolling with emotion has become the norm for many. The way to reverse this practice is to meditate. Practicing meditation is one of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself and your relationship. It disconnects you from emotion and reconnects you to what you really are; peace and love. This means less misunderstandings, and more harmony between the two of you.

When one embarks upon the journey of focusing within, there are two things to remember:

1. Relax

2. Do not expect anything

One will discover their ‘self’ or spirit, if they are relaxed enough to let go of the physical. For many this is the hardest task, for others the easiest. If you can get past these two barriers, you can connect with who you really are directly, and expediently without a problem.

Pent up energy is often the culprit to blame for keeping one in an energized state while trying to meditate. The easiest way to get past this is to exercise, stretch, or dance before you sit. Meditating after releasing all of that energy aids you in the process of ignoring thoughts and allows you to be fully present in spirit. Those that have a hard time meditating find that they have a much easier time right after a good half an hour of exercise. Releasing all that energy makes it so much easier to ignore the thoughts.

Get a neutral cd, with monotone, peaceful music, or go somewhere completely quiet when you sit. The goal is to focus on within, so sitting in a place where there is noise and distraction is not going to get you anywhere. If you find that it is noisy, pull out the cd and allow for that monotone music to be your background rather than the outside noise in your area.

It is important that your environment is conducive towards your meditation. Make a space within your home that you meditate in regularly. It can be either a room, an area in a public space of your home, or in an outside natural setting. Keep this area for your meditation practice. Creating a habit of sitting in the same place, puts you more into a ‘meditation mode’. Thus making your sitting time much more effective. Do whatever it takes to get you into this mode. I often meditate after showering. I light a candle, and set an alarm for an hour. At times I burn incense. I always make sure to be comfortable in whatever position I choose to sit. You can pretty much say an hour is necessary in order to fully relax and settle into 'being.' If you can’t sit for an hour, make it a half minimum.

Once you are relaxed, you can work on focusing on ‘self’. Use anything to keep yourself focused on your objective; stillness. Simply sit there and experience peace. Thoughts will enter, but allow them to leave as quickly as they come. Do not entertain them by focusing on them. Focus only on the peace, the stillness. Stillness is the only thing that is going to allow you direct contact to your spirit. By quieting the mind thru focus on spirit, you will begin to recognize your energy. This recognition will allow you to become ‘one’ with it, with practice.

If you exercise, or don’t have the time to exercise, and still find it hard to relax, give chanting a try. Chanting is repeating the same word or mantra, over and over again in order to ignore thoughts and the body, while simultaneously increasing the sensitivity to feeling spirit. There are hundreds of chants one can use. I like to use ‘ Om ’. This is the simplest, and to me, the most effective. Check out my links to hearing it pronounced the right way. Chanting for a few minutes will bring your body to a more relaxed state. If you enjoy chanting, do it until you start to become tired. The goal is to get your body to reproduce that feeling one experiences right before falling asleep. It’s that feeling of complete relaxation. When you find it hard to continue chanting, stop and simply sit there. Feel your presence, and make it a point to simply 'be.' This will prepare you for stillness. Theres no right or wrong. 'Being' is stillness, but in the beginning stages.

Once I get to the focal point of the feeling of "being," or the ‘self’, move on to focusing on the stillness. When you stray from that feeling, go back to focusing on that energy. Wthin time you will come to recognize this feeling. When you get used to focusing on it, one day it will take you over as a wave; completely and fully. Then you will be in stillness. Its a wonderful feeling of connection to the world. It is your direct connection to God.

The key is to set the intention to settle into self. Be optomistic when you sit. Know without doubt, that you will experience stillness. This will set you on your path to discovering your 'self.' When thoughts appear, let them come in, and let them go. Dont entertain them. We all have thoughts while sitting, the trick is to discipline yourself to ignore them. Use your focus point to help you do that, whether it be music, or the silence. Make it a goal to sit daily, whether you feel you are getting anywhere or not, because in reality, you are getting somewhere. You just aren’t aware of it.

What ever you do, dont give up, and you will get there. You will get there when you least expect it.