This is the Truth about the Self:

0) All the power that ever was or will be is here now.

1) I am a center of expression for the Primal Will-to-Good which eternally creates and sustains the universe.

2) Through me it's unfailing Wisdom takes form in thought and word.

3) Filled with Understanding of its perfect law, I am guided, moment by moment, along the path of liberation.

4) From the exhaustless riches of its Limitless Substance, I draw all things needful, both spiritual and material.

5) I recognize the manifestation of the undiviating Justice in all the circumstances of my life.

6) In all things great and small, I see the beauty of the divine expression.

7) Living from that Will, supported by unfailing Wisdom and Understanding, mine is the Victorious life.

8) I look forward with confidence to the perfect realization of the Eternal Splendor of the Limitless Light.

9) In thought and word and deed, I rest my life, from day to day, in the sure Foundation of Eternal Being.

10) The Kingdom of Spirit is embodied in my flesh.

Yesterday I sat in a circle with a group of people at the Oneness Center and one by one we all shared our thoughts about what we are grateful for. All in all, it's been a good year and I'd like to share some highlights.

1) I completed a Master Naturalist program sponsored by the Missouri Department of Conservation and the MSU (Missouri State University) Extension program. I met a lot of really wonderful people, made new connections, new friends and now have a wonderful opportunity to give to my community in the way of providing help to agencies and projects within the community.

2) Through this program I met a woman who is the park coordinator for a local, 207 acre farm park that just opened this month. I took a part time position working in the gift shop at the farm and am enjoying it very much.

3) I started attending a local Reiki Healing Circle I'm very excited about being a part of. There is a very good, strong, spiritual energy within this group of people and I feel very connected to them.

5) I renewed my lapsed membership with the Friends of the Library and for the first time volunteered to work at the annual Friends of the Library book sale.

5) After two months of agonizing over it, I have decided to step up and start speaking at the Oneness Center starting in February. This is something I didn't see coming and never saw myself doing. This is a major decison and a huge step for me as I don't like public speaking at all. It causes me a great deal of nervousness and anxiety and that's why I thought long and hard about it. But I've been attending the Oneness Center consistantly for probably close to two years now and I know they are struggling with getting speakers and in my heart of hearts I know that some of us are going to have to step forward and offer to carry the torch if the Oneness Center is to continue providing spiritual nourishment to those of us who seek more than religious dogma in our lives.

6) For what it's worth I went to the movies less this year than I've ever gone before, probably by half.

7) I've stopped keeping track of what I give financially. If I have it in my pocket at the time to give I give it, and I don't think about what I've given previously when the next time comes around.

8) Near the very end of October, after a friend passed from cancer, I decided to start donating plasma. Now, I have to tell you, this is not as noble as it sounds because they pay you. If I were a millionaire I wouldn't be doing this, but it feels good to both know that I'm helping someone who needs it and putting a few extra dollars in my pocket.

9) I began taking correspondance lessons from an organization called B.O.T.A. (Builders of the Adytum), a group dedicated to the teaching of metaphysics.

10) For the first time in my life I sought out an alternative treatment for a medical condition. I began seeing a TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) practitioner and started receiving both acupuncture treatments and Chinese herbs for two uterine fibroids that were discovered by an ultrasound in June.

Plans for 2008

For what it's worth, '8' is the number of infinity, the lumniscate above the Magicians head on the Tarot card The Magician.

1) Since I have now taken on the responsibility of speaking at the Oneness Center I see myself spending good chunks of my time researching subjects to speak about. So, I expect to increase my knowledge of metaphysics and spirituality in 2008. I also see this as an experience in growing pains and an opportunity for spiritual growth. I don't like public speaking, but this will probably be for the betterment of my higher self. Ugh.

2) The last time I was at the Oneness Center the guy who facilitates the local U.F.O. group was there, back from his two months travels in Germany. I've been interested in the U.F.O. group, so he got my e-mail address from me and told me he would e-mail me their schedule and let me know when they are meeting again. So, in the coming year this may be another group I become invovled with.

3) I am going to continue with my B.O.T.A. lessons. Currently this involves learning the Tarot through reading, yes, but also through meditation on the cards themselves, and learning the deeper meanings behind the cards and behind the Tarot system. This is going to be a long, ongoing study. Each card of the Tarot is connected to a letter in the Hebrew alphabet and to the Qabbalah itself. Eventually the connectedness of numbers will be introduced in the lessons as well. I hope to incorporate some of what I learn through B.O.T.A into the talks I will be doing at the Oneness Center.

4) I am still struggling sorely with food addiction and excessive weight. Last year I sought help from a 12-step program but I think I have decided that's just not the right approach for me. This year I have on my list of things to do "try T.O.P.S. program and check out Curves program"

5) I have become so interested in Reiki and Quantum Touch I have decided that I am going to learn them both. I have decided I want to be a Reiki Master. The fees for learning these things are not cheap, but I know I have extra money coming in now so I'm not going to think about it, I'm just going to do it.

6) I am going to continue seeing my TCM for treatments. I may just keep seeing him until I get through this whole nasty business of menopause. I just can't believe I'm this old. I really can't. I don't feel it. I wouldn't even be thinking about it if my body wasn't forcing me to.

7) I connected with one of the women at the Reiki Healing Circle and, oddly enough, she has the identical first and last name of one of my aunts. She does table tipping (basically spirit communication) and she has offered to conduct a session for me and I have been giving this a great deal of thought. She asks questions of her spirit guide and seems to know how important it is to set up protection during these experiences to keep bad or negative spirits from coming through. This is an interesting developement in my life and I will see what, if anything, comes of it.

8) Work. I see some major changes happening in this area of my life in the coming year. I'm no longer happy where I am. I can feel that where I am has served it's purpose in my life, that I've served their purposes, things have changed and now it's time for me to move on. This is an area of my life that is a great big question mark. Originally I was very focused on getting on at the farm and seeing if I could work it into full-time employment once I got my foot in the door. I don't know what the farm would pay full-time, but part time I'm making $1.50 less than where I'm employed full-time. Working at the farm is fun, but I'm feeling that something is missing. It's fun, but I don't feel connected to the people in the way I feel connected to the Reiki Group and the Oneness Center. I have been thinking about either home health care or working with children as gratifying, meaningful employment options, but I don't have any experience in either. Therefore, I've been thinking about volunteering to be a CASA (court appointed special advocate) volunteer. It seems to me that, at my age and with my lack of experience and education, the best and maybe the only way, to get my foot in the door is to volunteer somewhere and get some experience in. I need to have work that is meaningful to me. I need to serve. I need to help people. I would be good at this and I feel the need to move into the next phase of my life, service. This is my big goal for 2008, a service oriented vocation.

I think that's it. I think that pretty much covers the year 2007 and the hopes for 2008. I am still spending another New Year's Eve alone, but it's getting better. I've made a tremendous effort this past year to reach out and connect to people and activities that give my life joy, meaning and purpose. I think I've made great strides in this area. It's huge for somebody who has spent most of her life being a solitary soul. This has been a very big deal to me and I can tolerate another New Year's alone because I know that I've done good work in connecting with people this year. I've made progress.

May you and yours have a very Happy, SAFE New Year! May your lives be blessed with all the spiritual growth you can handle.

Actual New Year's resolution? Oh, well, of course. You didn't think I'd leave without doing that, did you?

New Year's resolution for 2008:

I'm going to stop undressing people with my eyes. We can't be serious all the time now can we? heh

Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches

so many other lives.

When he isn't around

he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?

~Clarence~

from “It’s a Wonderful Life”

For those of you who live under a rock, or are 20something, this is the story of George Bailey, a man who spent his life sacrificing his dreams to do the right things. George was a man with a wife and three kids, living in a drafty old house, running his dad’s old business, Bailey Building and Loan, without much to his name other than his reputation for putting people into good homes, despite their income, so that they wouldn’t have to grovel at the feet of Mr. Potter.

One day George’s Uncle Billy goes to the bank to make a deposit and misplaces $8,000.00. This doesn’t set well with the bank examiner and soon there’s a warrant out for George’s arrest. George, a desperate man in deep despair, finds himself standing out on a bridge in a bitter snowstorm wishing he’d never been born. Clarence, an angel trying to get his wings, grants George his wish. “Okay, George, you’ve never been born”.

George retraces his steps to all the familiar faces and places in town. No one knows him. His wife is a spinster who works at the library. Bedford Falls is the slum of Pottersville, Mr. Gower went to jail for poisoning a child. His brother Harry never saved a soul in World War I because George was not there to save Harry that day his kid brother broke through the ice and drowned. Each mans life touches so many others.

I think about this a lot when this movie starts playing around Christmas time. I think the entire movie is a profound statement on how connected we all are to one another. We go through our lives too busy to stop and think what our presence means to those whose lives we’ve touched. We have no idea what our presence, our kindness, our words, our actions, or even something as simple as a smile may have meant to someone.

When I was in high school, painfully shy and horribly alone, an English teacher wrote “Are you okay? Do you need to talk?” on one of the poems I had turned in for class. I was too shy to approach her but the idea that someone might actually care about me, that someone wanted to know if I was okay, that someone actually recognized and acknowledged my pain. That was huge and I never forgot it. And I never forgot her.

In so many subtle ways we leave our imprints on each other. As you hurry about in the hustle and bustle that is Christmas I ask you to pause for a minute and ask yourself this question, what would the world be like if you had never been born?

Last month, on October 28, 2007 to be exact, a woman I worked with, and who I had become close friends with, passed away after a long and painful battle with cancer. She had just celebrated her 52^nd birthday and her 24^th year with a kidney transplant. She was a strong, strong woman.

She spent the last two months of her life in a hospital bed. During that time I visited her often and grew to know her family some, especially her daughter and sister.

I meant to call them sooner, I did, to see how they were doing, but I have a horrible time picking up the phone and calling people. I find it extremely difficult to do for some reason. Her sister called me first, after I had given her name as a referral at the local plasma donation center, and she received $10.00 for that referral. We talked a while and made tentative plans to go donate and have lunch together on a Friday sometime.

So, I called her this evening. This is still an awkward and uncomfortable thing for me to do. I’m not terribly social and sometimes I don’t quite know what to say to people, but I knew I had to make the next call. More importantly, I knew for the sake of my friends’ memory that I had to keep contact with her sister and her daughter, to honor her. I know I can’t let them slip from my life. I know she’s on the other side watching over us all, and I know it would make her very happy to see us all staying in touch.

So, hard as it was, I made the two phone calls tonight, one to her sister (we’re going to donate and have lunch tomorrow), and one to her daughter. It was hard to do, but I feel very good for having done it.

One thing bothers me though. How do I be a good friend to these two women who are grieving the loss of their mom and their sister? What can I do or say to help them? How can I be there for them? In what way can I help? I don’t know what to do. So I’m asking you. If you are a woman who has lost your mother or your sister can you help me in knowing what to say or do for them? Are there any books I can read to help me understand what they are going through and how I can be a friend to them, particularly at this time of year? If anyone can help me to understand what my friends’ daughter and sister are going through I would very much like to hear from you.